Thanks to @Zhi Bu Yu, sweetheart, for providing such an amazing cover.
First-person Zhihu answer format. For detailed content warnings, please see the author's note in Chapter 1.
The main story is complete, with occasional bonus chapters to come.
[Blurb] (updated 2021/12/31):
The annual college entrance exams are over, and an old question has returned to the top of Zhihu's trending list:
How do you find a boyfriend from Tsinghua or Peking University?
By a stroke of luck, a witty answer suddenly went viral overnight:
I know this one!
Just follow the standard answer to "How many steps does it take to put an elephant in a refrigerator?":
1. Open the refrigerator door (suddenly meet a guy)
2. Put the elephant inside (find out he's at the best high school in the city and cling to him for dear life)
3. Shove/kick/push it in a little harder (wait for him to get in on his own)
4. Close the refrigerator door (turn him into your boyfriend)
SO EASY ╰(*°▽°*)╯
A few days later, amid a sea of comments calling it "some deranged, ridiculous answer," the anonymous poster suddenly showed up and quietly started updating it:
It all began during the summer vacation of my second year of middle school.
That day, I woke from a dream
and discovered that I was lying in a ridiculously Mary Sue fashion on the lap of a handsome stranger.
At the time, I had no idea
that the engineering guy from Wudaokou, whose lap I'd rested my head on,
would become the leading man of my life,
and that this damned male lead would permanently rob me of my Mary Sue heroine dream.
[Bonus Scene] (updated 2021/12/31):
Excerpt from one of the anonymous poster's updates:
It was a beautiful, sunny day, and the almanac said it was a good day for weddings, prayers, confessions, and declarations of love.
So, while he wasn't paying attention, I moved his laptop aside and tackled him onto the sofa.
With one hand hooked under his chin and the other gripping his waist, I narrowed my eyes into the shape of a domineering CEO's gaze.
Me (seductively wicked): Like me a little, and I'll give you my life!
Him (laughing): That doesn't look like you're giving me your life. It looks like you're casting Avada Kedavra.
Me (expectant): Then will you summon the courage to give me your life, darling?
Him (firmly): No. You can't just give your life away.
Me (fiercely cute): ...Why not!
Him (suddenly chuunibyou): Science teaches us... my fate is mine to command, not Heaven's!
Me (laughing in exasperation): Then I'll take my fate into my own hands too. I'm not giving it to you anymore.
Him (innocently): ...But I've already worked up the courage to accept it. No returns or exchanges.
No matter how much I glared and fumed, he remained perfectly at ease, lying there as he leisurely pointed at his handsome face.
According to the usual procedure, after giving me your life, aren't you supposed to pin me down on the bed and kiss me with red eyes? Come on, hurry up.
No matter how much I kicked and punched, he remained unfazed, tightening his arms around me to hold me securely before leisurely continuing:
What, is the procedure over already? Then get up and study. I have to keep working on my thesis, and you still haven't memorized that pile of CET-6 vocabulary.
After that, I never opened another superstitious almanac.
- A sweet-talking, secretly calculating schemer x a silly, sunny flower
- First-person Zhihu answer format, a lighthearted, sweet story that encourages studying
- Mainly set in high school, focused on everyday life. For more detailed content warnings, see the author's note in Chapter 1.
- Occasional bonus scenes on Weibo (Ahuisa). Feel free to follow.
Theme: Study hard and make progress every day
Does sister Qi Siqi know how to do Tsinghua Boxing?
Ending with flowers:) Although this is Xixi's answer (laughing), I still want to thank the old aunt behind me very much. Thank you for seeing three different couples and sparkling people when my youth was just starting to end. I don't know when we will meet again! () My thoughts after reading three books at once () The first book I opened was "Ren". I was still in junior high school at the time. Essentially, I wanted to find some "connotative" short sweet articles to encourage myself to study. After reading it, I really worked hard! Thank you both for making me realize that such a learning life exists (tears). The second book was "Spring". When I was reading "Spring", I felt inexplicably the same thing. I was diagnosed with ADHD-C this year, and it was even more severe for me (I had to coax myself to eat, sleep and take a bath...). Perhaps this book inspired me because of what Dr. Yi said to Jing Zhe, "Pain is inevitable, but suffering can be chosen." The last book is "How"! When I stopped reading, I was about to take the high school entrance examination. I secretly copied the math method taught by Brother Gou to Fairy, and worked extremely hard, and I got very satisfactory results :). It can only be said that life after high school is indeed not so unrestrained. Compared with the back and forth between the two academic masters, Fox and Rabbit, the competition between Dr. Jing Zheyi, the mutual support of Brother Dog and Fairy... I imagine that if I study hard and go to Qingbei, I must have such a partner. The reality is to compare how far I am from the first year of my life, and push myself. The old aunt's intention of writing "How" really came true for me. I at least knew that epiphany meant enlightenment () and I also felt that the other two articles contained the subtext of "study hard". Anyway! There is no such thing as a feast that lasts forever. I am very happy to see the article written by the old aunt OUO. I wish you success in your work and less overtime, be happy every day and not worry, and you can come back occasionally to update! () Looking forward to the extra episode
Please update the extra chapter ~ I miss you so much
It's really coming to an end! Reluctant to say goodbye... (I hesitate to finish reading this chapter so quickly. I believe it will never end before I read it... But I still have to say goodbye to "How" seriously. The relaxed style is really interesting, as if Xixi is talking beside me, very real and more immersive! During the serialization period, the most fearless thing is that the old aunt gives up, and I am so confident! Now it seems that what I am most afraid of is that the old aunt is finished and will not open a new pit. Www. I hope there is still a chance to see the old aunt's small theater, or maybe one day I am interested and write a short article, whether it is an interesting daily life at a certain moment, the old aunt's words always comfort me many times, it doesn't matter if I don't have it, it will be good if the old aunt can come back from time to time, and I can relive it (hug Thanks to the old aunt for bringing "Ren", "Spring" and "How". We were lucky enough to go through the days together waiting for "Ren" to be published, "Spring" to be published directly and "How" to be serialized. We have experienced sadness and joy. Although the timelines of the three books are staggered, the small appearance and guest appearance are enough to make me happy. In this way, I feel that their image is richer. I always believe that they will be good in the parallel universe that we cannot see! I am really happy that the old aunt always fulfills our wishes, whether it is the successful ending of "How" or the readers' excellent participation in the update. Let's make a wish again: The famous scene where Xixi and 747 "killed everyone" during their college years. Mu Qiang's mentality was like this, eh! If there were Xixi and 747's daily workplace life, maybe I could see them cuddling with each other when they return home after a tiring day (it's good to be able to work happily hahaha)! Heart-to-heart hugs are really delicious ^_^ Finally, the old aunt should pay attention to her health! See you by chance! Compare your heart!
I spent a whole night reading this article written by my aunt. I started reading Ren Qingfeng Xu in high school and now Gouzi and Fairy. I really lamented that the article written by my aunt made me feel like I saw them with my own eyes. I was really touched. I like the article written by my aunt so much!
Please update! I like it so much!!!! I like your writing so much! The writing style is warm and humorous! At this age, there is no one who is still rolling on the bed while reading youth campus literature!!!!
I really like campus literature. The youthful vitality, the belief in a promising future, and a group of lively like-minded teenagers are what high school life should be like. Although my high school life was ordinary and ordinary without so many famous figures in novels, when I entered the society and started working, I still felt that although the time in school was difficult, the atmosphere of being undistracted, only worrying about studying, and rushing forward to the future I wanted was still worth remembering. This article by the author really made me feel the fresh breath of youth, as if there really are two people like Little Fairy and 747 somewhere in the world. They are beautiful. Thanks to the author for his great persistence, I finally had the honor to accompany them through this journey. In the process, I also gained happiness and expectations.
The old lady who fills in the pit smoothly is the best!! The 100-word rainbow fart is omitted here (this is the only way to achieve the level of rainbow fart without Xixi)! If possible, I hope to see some short post-marriage essays in the extra chapter. Maybe it's because life after marriage is far away from me, so I want to see how a handsome guy with a smart mind and a beautiful woman with a sweet mouth manage their post-marriage life~
I'm in Qingbei, and I still don't know how to find a boyfriend in Qingbei. Maybe it's because I didn't bring one with me from high school... Anyway, I'm so sweet. Lao Qi and Xiao Xun want to be happy~
I really couldn't bear to part with it. From when I saw Ren at the fireworks show in 2021, I felt that the future path of Er Xiaozhi was very similar to mine and felt very close to her. Then I was attracted by this style of writing, so I read all the stories of the old aunt. I hope there will be more buzz on Weibo!!