Old Bench and Young Uncle

Everyday life with a doting daddy-type bottom and his clingy younger top

A younger, teary-eyed puppy of a top and an older, nurturing daddy-type bottom

A big shot of the underworld gives it all up overnight and turns into a homebody who can cook a bowl of mixed-noodle soup and deal with any troublemaker.

The seasoned old hand, a man of the jianghu, only wanted to get his hair washed and cut. He never expected to run into a troublemaking young punk at the barbershop.

When faced with this youngster, who knew nothing despite his tender age, yet dared to boast that he could challenge heaven, earth, and even the air, the old hand had only one response:

Kick him straight out!

But the young punk wasn't scared at all. He even craned his neck and yelled at him, "Do you know who I am!? I'm the number-one young punk on Shangchangkou Street!?"

Oh? The number-one young punk on Shangchangkou Street!?

He's so small, yet he's all puffed up like a kitten, imitating a toad yawning. What a big mouth!

The old hand had never met such a ridiculous "number-one young punk on Shangchangkou Street."

One second, he was yelling, "I'm not doing it!" and "You're taking advantage of me!"

The next, he saw that bowl of pea-and-minced-pork noodles and immediately dropped to his knees, calling him "Dad."

After a round of late-night beer, a bowl of iced jelly, and half a watermelon, he insisted on following him home.

He freeloaded on food and drink, then wanted to freeload on his home, too. He even grabbed his hand and said, "Make room for me on half your bed."

The funniest thing was that if you didn't kiss him, and said you didn't like him because he was old and didn't want him, he'd cry harder than anyone.

Old Hand: So you're the number-one young punk on Shangchangkou Street, and the number-one crybaby, too!?

Young Punk: I don't care! You made me cry today, so unless you comfort me and give me a kiss, I'm not letting this go!

Old Hand: You're really like chewing gum. Once you're stuck to me, I can't get rid of you!?

Young Punk: That's right. We kissed and sealed the deal, so you're my wife now!

Old Hand: ...I really...

Young Punk: What?

Old Hand: Forget it. You called me "Dad," didn't you? It's only natural for a dad to love his little one. No matter how much trouble you cause, I can only forgive you like a father would.

The Sichuan-Chongqing dialect is full of colorful sayings, with a strong pepper-and-salt flavor.

Lesson One of the Sichuan-Chongqing Dialect:

Old Hand: A seasoned veteran, an old hand in the jianghu.

Young Punk: A young hoodlum.

Dad: Father. In Sichuan and Chongqing, this word is also often used interchangeably with "old man."

Little One: First, the youngest son; second, an affectionate term for one's daughter; third, an insult directed at someone; fourth, an affectionate term for one's son; fifth, among younger people, it can be used between couples as a pet name, or between close female friends in the sense of "darling."

Please add my upcoming novel The Flirtatious Little Wildcat Plays Dirty to your reading list.

Preview:

Yin Ren belongs to the group of life's winners: a top lawyer and a dazzlingly eligible bachelor, an absolute top.

He wakes up to find $197.25 in loose change beside his bed???

At long last, he catches the young bartender he'd spent one night with.

He is ready to teach him a proper lesson,

only for the other guy to hand him another three dollars

and say that makes it an even $200, with the extra 25 cents as a tip, no change needed!?

Yin Ren: I make $4,000 an hour, thank you very much.

Xu Yu: What kind of dick do you have? That expensive!? Is it diamond-encrusted!?

Yin Ren: ...I'll show you just how powerful my diamond-encrusted dick is today!

A respectful bow of thanks.

Theme: The year of poverty alleviation and prosperity, and rescuing wayward young people from society