I'm Really Not Squint-Eyed

My eyes really are just naturally small. Why do all those people insist on reading way too much into everything I say?!!! They even think I'm some unfathomable big shot! I'm really not some squinty-eyed monster! Aaaah, don't come near me!!! One day, someone asked Ling Ge what kind of guy she liked. She thought for a moment, then answered, “I like guys who look good in a kimono.” The strongest one: An ancient family, one of the Three Great Families' young lords, with refined elegance from head to toe. You deserve him. The fake-death-coder: So you like Japanese guys? Then what matters is a sense of national identity, huh? The bandage-wearing guy: Unlike those two, I have traditional black hair. I've got the aura of a sickly, melancholic young beauty, the kind Japanese people love best. Don't miss out. The Curse User: Long, straight black hair, the very image of classical beauty. Don't you like that? The sly fox: I have everything you want, miss. Featuring Detective Conan, Jujutsu Kaisen, Bungo Stray Dogs, and The Fox's Servant, with the possibility of more anime series later. The heroine really is a big shot, even if she doesn't think so :) An idea that came to me out of nowhere. I haven't decided on a pairing yet, so feel free to place your bets and add it to your collection! Theme: I'm really just “ordinary”!