I'm the Chat Group's Favorite

[My simultaneous serial next door, When the Sweet Fool Gets the Villainess Script, is looking for readers. A ridiculous, argumentative comedy.]

Yan Yu transmigrated into a book along with her old, beat-up phone, becoming a pitiful girl unloved by her father and mother and despised by her stepsister.

Her family is one of the capital's great clans, yet they can't afford even what ordinary people take for granted.

What worries Yan Yu most right now is that the whole family plans to have her impersonate her missing twin brother and take an official post.

In the original novel, her brother eventually becomes prime minister, but he's also the story's biggest traitor. He is executed by being torn apart by five horses, a gruesome death.

Yan Yu has sound values and does envy the glory the great traitor enjoyed before his death, but she doesn't want to die. Besides, she's just a good-hearted commoner. How could she become a treacherous official?

Her busted phone suddenly lights up.

[Dong Zhuo, Wei Zhongxian, Qin Hui, He Shen... friend requests]

The great traitors: We've always wanted to take on a student.

Yan Yu: ...There's really no need.

Later, Yan Yu fails to become a treacherous official, but learns all the masters' basic tricks and makes a fortune fleecing the nobility.

The moody tyrant is slapping the imperial bed and calling to her: "My dear minister, what surprise have you brought me today?"

The masters: Go for it!

Yan Yu clutches her purse tightly: There's really nothing left. Not a single penny.

Reader's guide:

① One-on-one romance, both leads' first relationship. A stingy, money-grubbing tyrant male lead vs. a flexible, purse-string-clutching female lead.

② The male lead only knows how to ask the female lead for money. He spends money on her so he can ask her for even more next time.

That's right, as emperor, he is incredibly poor, but the male lead isn't living off a woman (take note).

③ A short story under 200,000 characters.

Blurb for When the Sweet Fool Gets the Villainess Script:

Wen Shushu lost her memory after falling into the sea, then transmigrated into a book.

She can't remember her past, only that this world is an old-fashioned, melodramatic tragedy. The heroine in the book is found by her family, but only so she can take her sister's place in the palace selection, luck into becoming empress, and then have her entire family wiped out on her wedding day.

Because she is too kind, the heroine becomes a pawn in the struggle between the male lead and the male antagonist. She is dumped in a mass grave to be eaten by wild dogs, dying without a complete body.

Now, she's that heroine!

Wen Shushu: Hugs her chubby self, heartbroken.

As a frail young woman who can't even truss a chicken, how can she escape her destined fate and hang on to her life?

Wen Shushu: As delicate as she is, she has no choice but to fight evil with evil and work hard to win over the villains, filling the world with love (?).

But being a bad person seems so difficult. She can't do it, so she can only find a few villainous veterans and learn from them.

"How can I become a really bad person?"

After a long silence, the other person moves his face out from under her shoe and slowly spits out two bloody teeth.

"You just need to tone it down by a billion or so," he says.

Later, Wen Shushu, holding the villainess script, meets the story's dazzlingly refined third male lead, her fiance. Her eyes brim with tenderness: "You're the one I hold dearest in my heart."

She meets the rakish, pleasure-loving sixth prince, the male lead, and assures him again and again: "There's only you in my heart. All the other men are just passing clouds."

She meets the self-disciplined, proper, all-talk-no-action impoverished scholar, the second male lead, and showers him with concern: "I gaze at you, hold on to you, and love you, you darling!"

Until one day, the truth comes out, and all three men show up at her door to propose...

Wen Shushu: I won't lie, my heart is a durian, with people standing on every single thorn. (Blows a smoke ring.)

With things about to go off the rails, Wen Shushu dives straight into the imperial harem, waves goodbye, and goes to the selection.

One day, seated on the dragon throne, she looks down over the court and says to the young child in her arms: "My child, do you know how many stepfathers I've found for you?"

Reader's guide:

① A strong female lead story, guaranteed one-on-one romance.

② Please don't give unsolicited advice. Enjoy the story civilly; that's everyone's responsibility.

[Advance notice: Rich Heiress on a Psychic Variety Show as the Contrast Character. Please add it to your reading list~]

[This is the next story I'll write. Add it to your reading list! An absolute wish-fulfillment story for the heroine! If you don't find it satisfying, come fight me!]

Si Ming was found by her biological parents, but there was no place left for her in their home.

Her father looked down at her. "Si Qing is skilled in mystic arts. Our family can't give her up, so just think of her as an extra little sister."

Her mother's expression was disdainful. "Remember to attend etiquette classes on time, and don't embarrass me when you go out."

Her younger brother, Si Rong, was openly malicious. "Hey, country bumpkin, you're not my sister. Si Qing is my only sister."

Desperate to please them, Si Ming studied as hard as she could, only to be used as a tool for a wealthy-family marriage alliance. On the second day after their wedding, her sham of a husband even brought home a five-year-old child.

Worst of all was Si Qing, the daughter and sister they called the best. She forced Si Ming to join a psychic variety show as her foil.

Si Ming knew nothing about the occult and wanted to refuse, but everyone blamed her.

On the day she was utterly disillusioned, she saw a trending post showing her sham sister Si Qing having a romantic dinner with her sham husband. In a daze, she fell into an artificial lake and drowned.

Si Ming died, but not completely.

When she awoke from her deep sleep, the Great Si Ming, who holds the power of life and death over mortals, declared: Si Ming was merely one of her primordial spirits. Now it was time to bring out her main account.

On the day the psychic variety show began, among the strange-looking, bizarrely acting applicants, a mysterious girl of breathtaking beauty suddenly appeared. Online viewers were quick to declare that she was obviously just a pretty waste of space. Her popularity soon surpassed that of the celebrity contestant, the Si family's eldest daughter, Si Qing.

--Hey, Nuwa, are you asleep? I'm too ugly to sleep.

--With a face like that, why not audition for the show next door? Why come here to chase clout?

--This girl is desperate to be famous. Is her agency just going to let her do this?

The comments were full of snide remarks, and everyone waited for this pretty waste of space to humiliate herself on the psychic show.

In the first episode of Psychic, the contestants must find a person hidden in a car trunk in a warehouse. In the other studio, the celebrity observers curse the pretty face. "Idiot. I'm already embarrassed for her. If she guesses right, I'll eat sauce off the bottom of my shoe..."

Before the words are out of his mouth, a hand as white as jade rests on the hood of a red Jeep. A distant voice says, "It's this one."

Just as the observers are about to burst out laughing, the so-called "pretty face" fixes her gaze on the camera. Through layer upon layer of lenses, she stares straight into one guest's eyes. The aura coming through the screen makes him break out in goosebumps.

"Have you decided what sauce to put on your shoe?"

As she speaks, the trunk opens and a man tumbles out. The whole set erupts.

In the second episode of Psychic, the contestants must solve the mystery of a missing high school girl. Other contestants sense things through photos or personal belongings, each offering a different explanation for her disappearance.

"She's not dead. Her soul needs to be banished, and she'll come home next autumn."

"I'm sorry, but I can't sense the aura of a living person from the ring she wore. That means she's dead."

"I see lots of people crowding around her and talking. She's irritated and miserable, curled up into a ball... No, I have to stop sensing. The negative energy is making it hard to breathe..."

It's the Great Si Ming's turn. Under the expectant and doubtful gazes of the crowd, she approaches against the light, her expression compassionate. A halo of Buddha-like light surrounds her slender figure, and in an instant she stands before the missing girl's father.

"You're not related by blood. You're lusting after her. The day before the Mid-Autumn Festival, you tricked her into coming home and assaulted her."

The missing girl's father trembles all over and stammers, "You're lying. I didn't... I'll sue you for slander!"

She casually looks over at the missing girl's mother, whose face is just as pale, and speaks with mocking coldness: "That day, she begged you for help, but you turned and left. She asked me why you helped this scumbag destroy her."

The online viewers: Holy crap, what a bombshell!

In the nth episode of Psychic, the contestants visit an abandoned hotel where a famous murder took place. One contestant has no skill but lots of enthusiasm. He tries to summon a demon but instead calls forth a thousand-year-old local vengeful ghost. At the critical moment, the Great Si Ming steps in and makes the ghost reveal its true form.

The online viewers peer at their screens, curious, and end up seeing a face identical to the Great Si Ming's.

Before they can let their imaginations run wild, the vengeful ghost drops to its knees. "This little ghost meant no disrespect. I once happened to see Your Divine Grace's portrait and admired it, so I transformed myself to look like you..."

The online viewers: What? Your Divine Grace?

That evening, passersby notice an archaeology team arriving at the abandoned hotel. Half a month later, a thousand-year-old tomb is uncovered. Its burial chamber is of exceptionally high rank, and a portrait among the grave goods has been perfectly preserved, its colors unfaded as though newly painted.

Viewers of Psychic realize the pieces fit. They know the person in the painting all too well. Your Divine Grace, portrait, vengeful ghost... They're numb, gloriously numb! Nothing that happens to the Great Si Ming will ever surprise them again.

The Great Si Ming's popularity keeps soaring, and she is constantly trending. Her step-sister Si Qing, overshadowed by her, grows jealous and snipes at her: You must have spent a fortune creating this buzz. If you dare steal my spotlight, die! (Cutting her palm and casting a death curse.)

The Great Si Ming senses an evil force drawing near. Without looking back, she raises a hand and flicks it. [Reflect + Super Multiplier]

Si Qing suffers a backlash, sprays blood three feet into the air, and collapses.

The online viewers applaud and spread the news.

By now, Si Ming's father and mother insist she is their most beloved daughter, and her younger brother Si Rong brags to his classmates that Si Ming is his biological sister.

When her family tries to win her back, the Great Si Ming calmly replies: There is a difference between gods and mortals. Don't @ me.

As for her sham of a husband, he's on his way to the crematorium.

Reader's guide:

① The female lead loves all living things, not just one person.

② Many details are made up. Inspiration comes from the Russian show Battle of the Psychics. Also, a shout-out to my goddess, Julie Wang~

③ The child her sham of a husband brought home isn't his, and he has no romantic feelings for the fake heiress Si Qing. There's a big misunderstanding behind it all. Let me make things up as I go. I can't promise he'll be the male lead.

[Captured on September 14, 2020]

Theme: Establish a heart for the world, a destiny for the people, carry on the lost teachings of the sages, and bring peace to all generations.