Let That Salted Fish Go

Jiang Muyun picked up a little disciple.

The disciple was good in every way: handsome, well-behaved, exceptionally talented, hardworking, and dependable. His only flaw was being too ambitious. His head was full of thoughts about bringing glory to their sect, making a name for himself, and helping his master, who cared nothing for fame or fortune, become known throughout the Three Realms.

Jiang Muyun saw this and grew anxious.

Faced with the adoring look in her disciple's dark eyes, she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth.

So she dropped hints.

"Have you heard of Yun Muqing, the Sword Lord of the Immortal Cloud Sect?"

"Of course."

The Immortal Capital's foremost Sword Venerable, whose sword-light chilled fourteen provinces. He drifted like a cloud-shadow and was as cold as frost, the most untouchable beauty in the Immortal Realm. At the height of his youthful glory, his fiancée broke off their engagement. He then entered the Path of Ruthlessness. People still love to gossip about his former fiancée. After all, she was the woman who broke off an engagement with the Sword Venerable! She could be called the least face-obsessed woman in the Immortal Realm.

"What about Chu Jiangli of Moonwatch Cliff?"

"The Demon Lord? Who hasn't heard of him?"

The first great demon in history to unify the Demon Realm. He made a throne out of piles of bones, yet was breathtakingly beautiful. But it seemed the Heavenly Dao hated beautiful people. The first time he broke out of the Demon Realm to claim dominion over the Three Realms, the woman he loved stabbed him in the back, nearly killing him before his ambitions could begin. They say the Demon Lord still searches for her like a madman.

"And Yan Zhibai of Fenglin Isle?"

"The sickly young saint of the Demon Realm?"

The last descendant of the Phoenix King's bloodline, he was adored by everyone from the moment he was born. The entire Demon Realm exhausted itself trying to ensure his healthy growth, only for... this naive innocent, ignorant of the world's cruelty, to be abandoned after being seduced by a three-hundred-year-older woman from the Immortal Realm. The incident nearly sparked a war between the two realms.

Jiang Muyun said, "And did you know that the same woman played all three of them?"

What Jiang Muyun wanted to say was: That's right, that woman is none other than your humble master, me. My secret identity is the biggest walking disaster in the Three Realms! So, disciple, let's cultivate quietly and keep our heads down.

What's wrong with being a good-for-nothing?

But the little disciple's eyes lit up. "This disciple will try too."

Jiang Muyun: "...?!"

"Wait, what are you going to try for?"

"To get played by this remarkable woman too, and be added to her collection."

"No! You don't want that!"

Many years later, the little disciple finally learned the truth and personally experienced just how troublesome those three seniors were.

Unable to resist, he asked Jiang Muyun how she'd managed to be so brazen, fearless, and carefree, offending every top-tier star in the Three Realms all at once.

Jiang Muyun said quietly, "Back then, I thought I could ascend."

The little disciple asked, puzzled, "What does ascending mean?"

Jiang Muyun's eyes filled with tears of regret. "Exactly. That's exactly what you should have said."

How could she have known there was no such thing as ascension in this world?

No matter how brilliant or extraordinary she was, no matter how suddenly she rose to fame, she was still just a caged bird in the prison of the Three Realms.

So why bother working hard?

I'm going to lie flat!

Content warnings:

1. The heroine is cold and fickle. She's a Mary Sue with a harem, who never makes the first move, wants to refuse, gets manipulated, and takes no responsibility.

2. Every man in this story is a green tea. Except the little disciple, who has no romantic storyline with the heroine.

3. The story is wall-to-wall melodramatic romance. Every plot point serves the melodrama, so don't read it expecting a sensible story.

Next up: Senior Sister Is Unbeatable Across the World. I'm not sure this will still be the premise when I start writing, but I'm saving up favorites for my next xianxia story. If you're a fan of my work, please add it to your favorites.