The Great Zheng Daily:
Shocking!
#Man universally despised by his teammates, brutally attacked by his own side#
The man, goofy Tomioka: Nobody hates me!
#That notorious drunk from somewhere in Nakahara, whose drinking problem is common knowledge, is causing a drunken scene online#
Victim No. 1, Dazai: He got drunk and insisted on dragging me into his endless blathering. I went all the way home to avoid him, but then he had the nerve to come to my house and yell at me. I had no choice but to hide under the covers and sob.
Victim No. 2, Ango: I was recovering at home from an injury, and he specifically came over drunk to make fun of me. Have you ever seen anyone so awful?!
Head of the police, Miss Akutagawa: We have received the victims' statements. The man damaged someone else's door lamp while intoxicated. After confirming the facts, we have taken him into custody.
#Dazai and Kawabata brawl in the street over the position of secretary#
Dazai: You bastard, Kawabata! You're trying to break up Miss Akutagawa and me! If I can't be Miss Akutagawa's secretary, I'm not worthy of being her number-one fan!
Kawabata: I have to say, putting a mentally unstable person who seems like a stalker beside Miss Akutagawa is an extremely unwise decision.
More exciting reports from our renowned journalist, Miss Higuchi Ichiyo. Stay tuned!
Theme: Crossover
