The Green Tea Male Side Character Won't Last Three Days

In games and movies where true love conquers all, there's always a scheming, tea-spouting male side character. They get treated worlds apart from the pampered protagonist, yet they never stop making catty remarks, charging recklessly into danger, and eagerly playing the cannon fodder. They never last more than three days before they're completely done for. Su Yu was bound to a mission System and transmigrated into the role of one of these scheming male side characters, taking over their lives and rewriting their tragic endings. [Showbiz] Domineering scumbag top: If you love me, go along with my big act on the couple variety show. Su Yu: Got it! I promise I'll cheat on you in the very first scene. [Reborn loyal top, switching partners] Loyal scumbag top: After I was reborn, I realized how blind we both were in our past lives. Su Yu: So you're blaming me for being blind because you couldn't have me? [Angsty amnesia-and-substitute story] Sinister scumbag top, finally seeing the light: You're so promiscuous, you're not worthy of imitating the one I love. Su Yu: That's nonsense. [Campus romance about a poor, secretly rich academic] Gold-digger scumbag top: You pretended to be poor and deceived my feelings. I'll make you regret it for the rest of your life. Su Yu: Shh! Poor people shouldn't talk. The innocence that once fell to rock bottom is what I rely on to help you shed your tarnish. I'll give you a sky full of stars, and hope your future shines bright. A note: None of the worlds in this story are bound by real-world science or common sense. The world consciousness directs and controls all the side characters. The melodramatic plot is just the backdrop; the story itself isn't like that. Also, all the worlds are set in games or novels, and the main focus is depicting the worlds I've imagined for myself. Please don't get too invested or misunderstand. The protagonist's name has multiple pronunciations: Su Yu, pronounced Xiu Yu. Next up: There's No Haunted House I Can't Sell Without a Man Blurb: A real estate agency in B City, on the verge of bankruptcy, gets a new young owner named Rong Juan, who is handsome and beautiful and claims to be a celestial master. Unfortunately, in this age of rapid technological progress, ghosts and gods are considered nonsense. After half a month, Rong Juan had only landed one job. That day, Rong Juan accompanied the client to inspect the haunted house he was about to take over. Facing a sink covered in blood, the client trembled: Th-th-that... Sell this house, and we'll split the proceeds fifty-fifty! Rong Juan clung to the client, trembling just as badly: B-b-b-bro, this is dangerous work! Let's split it sixty-forty! I get sixty, you get forty. The client, desperate to escape, cried: Deal! Now let go of me, you bastard! That night, Rong Juan showed up at the haunted house with a peachwood sword. The fierce ghost who'd been throwing his weight around all day clung to Rong Juan's leg and fawned over him. Dad! Spare me and I'll be your son forever! Rong Juan suddenly felt that he'd found a great way to make his fortune. Theme: Knowledge is power. Change your fate, create miracles, and write a new chapter in your life.