Stealing the Hook

The silly version:

Qiao Zixu became a hero on a whim, never expecting that he would end up raising a child.

On the first day he brought the kid back to the county yamen, the kid said, "Hurry up and thank me by kneeling."

After a month of raising the kid, he brought him back to the yamen, and the kid said, "Master, I want to learn lightness skills and disguise techniques."

After seven years of raising the kid, he brought him back to the yamen, and the kid said, "Benefactor, won't you come sit obediently in my arms?"

Oh, what a fickle kid.

Oh, I'm kicking this ungrateful little brat into the air.

The little scene version:

Xiao Jinghuan glared at Qiao Zixu, who was sprawled on the bed reeking of alcohol. Furious, he grabbed him by the lapels and hauled him upright.

"Did you go drinking at the Chen house again?"

Qiao Zixu sleepily patted his hand and said ruefully, "It's so hard. Raising a kid is so hard."

Hearing that, Xiao Jinghuan's anger ebbed a little, but he still snorted. "Your disciple is both clever and well-behaved. What's so hard about it?"

Drunk as he was, Qiao Zixu didn't catch the shameless self-praise and replied, "The third boy in your Chen family is only twelve, and he already knows how to give flowers to girls. My silly boy is nineteen this year, and he's still as stiff as a piece of wood. When is he ever going to start a family?"

Xiao Jinghuan loosened his grip and let him lie back down. Then he leaned close and whispered, "Maybe he's already in love with someone?"

"In love with someone?" Qiao Zixu seemed unable to wrap his head around the idea. Then, under Xiao Jinghuan's expectant gaze, he launched into a tirade. "Nonsense! All he wants to do every day is solve cases. He's always dragging me along to look at dead people's heads. If he can fall in love with someone, I'll let you twist my head off and use it as a stool!"

Xiao Jinghuan's face darkened. "I'd say your head's already as good as dead."

Theme: Patriotism