I Only Want to Take It Easy After Transmigrating into a Cultivation Novel

Blurb: Cheng Jieyu transmigrates into a danmei cultivation novel as a cannon-fodder character who shares his name. The original character looks exactly like him, but is weak and useless, and to make matters worse, he has the same build Cheng had three years ago, when he was at his heaviest. The chubby original character was obsessed with his "handsome and extraordinary" childhood friend, the senior brother, and jealous of the protagonist who had suddenly appeared. After failing to murder him, he was eliminated early. When the looks-obsessed Cheng Jieyu meets that senior brother, he thinks, exasperated: Original you, are you blind? You're a Lamborghini yourself, so why do you need a bicycle?! Does that bicycle even deserve you? He decides to ditch the "bicycle" and find somewhere peaceful to shine on his own, mainly because he's afraid of dying. After much thought, the only peaceful place is with that blind, cultivation-crippled, foul-tempered martial uncle. Nobody else is willing to go there. But when he meets his uncle, he discovers: Good heavens! His uncle is the real beauty! His uncle's brows, eyes, nose, lips, jawline, long fingers, and long legs are all flawless! With his uncle around, who needs the senior brother?! His gorgeous uncle is perfect in every way, except that he thinks Cheng Jieyu is weak and useless and insists he practice cultivation properly. Cheng Jieyu makes a face with his chubby cheeks: But I don't want to become an immortal. Isn't it better to be a lazy fish? His uncle offers bait number one: Practice cultivation, and you can become beautiful. Cheng Jieyu is tempted: I'll practice! I'll do it however you say! Later: His uncle offers bait number two: What if I ascend one day? Cheng Jieyu: No way! Don't you dare seduce me and then abandon me! (Just kidding...) It's only cultivation. Fine, he'll do it! But how did his cultivation suddenly advance by leaps and bounds? [Although the blurb is ridiculous, the novel itself is serious.] Warm little sunshine, cheerful and goofy beauty-loving shou x Walking icehouse, aloof, possessive, devoted gong [Important warnings] 1. The shou is beauty-obsessed, goofy, and has an unusual way of thinking. He's doted on by everyone, but isn't universally adored. 2. The characters aren't perfect, and their flaws are obvious. If that's not your thing, perhaps we'll meet again another time. 3. This is goofy, healing fun. Absolutely no serious cultivation. It's not a power-leveling wish-fulfillment story. 4. The story diverges from the original novel's plot, with many original settings, but it's sweet. 5. Neither gong- nor shou-focused, and definitely no slavish devotion. If you have a preference, proceed with caution. 6. 1v1, happy ending, no wavering. [Dug the hole on 2020.02.22; revised 2020.10.28] -- A modern-day companion story: After Announcing I'm Married with a Kid, I Became Famous A parallel world from before Jieyu transmigrated into a book, about the childhood of the little one and his two dads. Blurb: New actor Ye Yunqing has barely started showing signs of rising to fame when a video of a cute kid calling him Dad, along with a blurry photo of him meeting a rich man in a luxury car at night, embroils him in a scandal that threatens to end his career. Just then, newly crowned Best Actor Cheng Jingyao posts on Weibo: @Cheng Jingyao: The luxury car is mine, the child is mine, and @Ye Yunqing is mine too. He's the one I've watched over since we were children, and the person I love. [Photos: childhood photo together + marriage certificate] The Best Actor's fans, who were just enjoying the gossip, are stunned to hear that their idol's career has collapsed: ⊙o⊙??? Big brother, if you've been kidnapped, just blink! A week later, the Night View couple appears on a family livestreaming variety show with the little kid from the photos. The little one is plump and rosy-cheeked, with red lips and pearly teeth. He hugs his baby bottle, puffs out his round cheeks, and suckles away before grinning at the camera, showing off his sweet dimples. Fans: Aaaaaah, I'm dead, I'm dead! Night View couple, please have two more kids! Cheng Jingyao & Ye Yunqing: Well, here's the thing, we really didn't make him! When asked why he joined the show, the little one says in his babyish voice to the camera, "I hope everyone will stop saying bad things about my little dad. My little dad isn't a playboy. He promised to marry my big dad when he was three!" Ye Yunqing blushes and hurriedly carries the little one away. Cheng Jingyao: Sorry, my husband is shy. Fans: Damn! Why am I getting a nosebleed from all this sweetness?! [Thick-skinned, doting gong + stunningly beautiful, aloof male-god shou + gentle, soft, adorable little one = one happy family] [Please visit my author page and add this to your collection!] Theme: Don't pursue beauty of appearance alone. True beauty comes from holding fast to the goodness and kindness within.