[Please bookmark my upcoming book, The Divine Taobao Shop (*^▽^*). The blurb is at the end!]
Blurb: (A silly, lighthearted, sweet little romance)
*A short-tempered, love-struck top who woos himself x an oblivious, sweet and adorable little Taoist priest bottom*
Ning Ci had an extraordinary talent for metaphysics, but his master calculated that he was fated to face a calamity and would need contact with someone of a pure Yang constitution to stay alive.
So, after completing his training, he went down the mountain for the first time to seek the immortal elixir that would save his life.
*
Ning Ci found the campus heartthrob, Lou Zhengdu. Rumor had it that the guy had a terrible temper and no one dared cross him.
Ning Ci: Can I kiss you? If not, can I at least touch you?
Lou Zhengdu: ...Take some medicine, you weirdo. You're cute, so I won't beat you up.
Ning Ci was vexed. Fate was impossible to defy, so he marked this man as beyond saving and decided to seek his next life-saving elixir.
*
Lou Zhengdu's temper had been even worse lately. The new country bumpkin who used to follow him around had stopped, and now spent all day at the basketball court, eyes wide as he searched for handsome, muscular guys.
As his nineteenth birthday approached, Lou Zhengdu suddenly started seeing strange things.
Ning Ci put their past behind them and kindly helped drive them away, only to be scooped up and carried to bed.
Lou Zhengdu coughed awkwardly and said, "To make sure I'm safe, come sleep with me!"
Then, after a pause, he added stiffly, "A kiss would be fine, too."
Ning Ci: "I'd rather not..."
Lou Zhengdu panicked. "Then two kisses! Don't push your luck!"
Ning Ci: "..."
The underlings noticed that their boss had been studying hard lately and thought he was possessed. "Lou, don't you hate studying more than anything?"
Lou Zhengdu looked blissful. "A Ci said if I move up ten places, I can touch his hand. If I move up twenty, I can kiss his cheek. You people without boyfriends wouldn't understand."
The underlings: "???"
Reader's Guide:
1. This is a metaphysics story that's not scary at all, with a silly, comedic bent. Romance comes first, with a little supernatural trouble on the side. Feel free to enjoy it as a sweet bedtime read. It won't keep you awake.
2. The metaphysics isn't professionally researched. I've made up plenty of things, so please don't take it too seriously~
3. Believe in science :D
[Please bookmark my next book below ↓] [Please bookmark my author page above ↑]
The Divine Taobao Shop
An He is a down-and-out deity who wakes up in a modern socialist country. When he opens his eyes, he hears that animals aren't allowed to cultivate into spirits anymore.
An He protests in dismay: But I'm not a spirit creature, I'm a god! Q_Q
With his supply of faith completely depleted, he has no choice but to study the latest technology. To make ends meet, he becomes a... Taobao shop owner.
A severe drought strikes a certain region. A landlord's foolish son watches the weather forecast climb higher and higher, fretting over what to do. While browsing an online shopping app, he comes across a strange product.
Its cover is incredibly plain: a white background with a line of huge black characters that reads, "We can do anything."
The farmer types to customer service: The corn in my fields is about to die of drought. Can you help?
The reply comes quickly: Yes.
The farmer watches, wide-eyed, as customer service sends him a product link: [Control the Wind and Rain]
The farmer: "...?"
Has the National Anti-Fraud Center finally given up on you?
Later...
Later, a strange shop with a gold-crown rating becomes a sensation.
Reader's Guide:
A divine Taobao shop that can truly do anything, including but not limited to controlling the wind and rain, serving sweet Meng Po soup, and hiring dream-eating tapirs as dream contractors.
Theme: Strive unceasingly.
But I still want to watch some sweet extras... Uh-huh (shaking) (dizziness) (pain) (twisting) (crow flying in a plane) (waving flower hands) (singing children's songs) (drinking mineral water) (kicking the wall) (smashing the range hood) (throwing handkerchief) (jumping through fire hoops) (detonating a neutron star) (emitting electromagnetism to a black hole) Wave) (Kiss the sun) (Run for President of the United States) (Compete with mechanical butterflies) (Smash spherical drying tubes) (Run) (Sing) (Tumble) (Run) (Dance) (Steal Bald Qiang's chainsaw) (Sell grass cakes) (Twisted) (Punch through the earth) (Travel through eleven dimensions) Twisted uppercut! Dark lower uppercut! Screaming left hook! Right hook crawling! Twist the sweeper's legs! Split roundhouse kick! This is the shadowy spider eating earwax, this is the tornado rolling through the parking lot! It's the intense antelope crawl, it's the twisted goat jump! Crow spasms! The rat roars! The elephant squirms! A sinister growl! Angry octopus! Crawl! Split! Go ashore! Octopus twist! Indiscriminate attack! Indiscriminate attack! Indiscriminate attack! Indiscriminate attack! (Crawling) (Wriggling) (Splitting) (Twisting) (Wriggling darkly) (Rolling) (Crawling violently) (Twisting) (Spasticity) (Roaring) (Wriggling) (Eerie growl) (Crawling) (Splitting) (Step ashore) (Writhing) (Spasticity) (Wriggling) (Twisting walking) (Attack regardless of target)
Do you think it's appropriate to stop here?
It's so rushed. Just finish the story in a hurry and end it?
(The thin lips parted slightly and he chuckled twice. A hoarse voice came out. His eyes narrowed and revealed three parts confusion, four parts doubt and three parts surprise. He raised his arms, bent his elbows and raised his hands to slap his forehead. There was a crisp sound like the collision of jade and swords. His eyebrows furrowed and his silver teeth clenched his heart. His jade toes curled up and clasped the ground several times. He couldn't help but sigh.): Are you really not planning to do the 108th episode?
... This is a bad article, the author has no intention.
I feel like this ending is inexplicable, not even the master appears.
The ending is a bit abrupt_(:з∠)_ So I'm such an old person... What about the extra chapter?
I watched it suddenly end... I was caught off guard, and the outline was drastically cut...
It's so short, can't you do it? ! ??
Damn it! It sucks! Damn it, you spent your money in vain! The previous writing was obviously okay, but why was the ending so hasty? It ended all of a sudden, and my emotions didn't really warm up at all. I was still in high school when it was over, and I was so convinced!
But I still want to watch some sweet extras... Uh-huh (shaking) (dizziness) (pain) (twisting) (crow flying in a plane) (waving flower hands) (singing children's songs) (drinking mineral water) (kicking the wall) (smashing the range hood) (throwing handkerchief) (jumping through fire hoops) (detonating a neutron star) (emitting electromagnetism to a black hole) Wave) (Kiss the sun) (Run for President of the United States) (Compete with mechanical butterflies) (Smash spherical drying tubes) (Run) (Sing) (Tumble) (Run) (Dance) (Steal Bald Qiang's chainsaw) (Sell grass cakes) (Twisted) (Punch through the earth) (Travel through eleven dimensions) Twisted uppercut! Dark lower uppercut! Screaming left hook! Right hook crawling! Twist the sweeper's legs! Split roundhouse kick! This is the shadowy spider eating earwax, this is the tornado rolling through the parking lot! It's the intense antelope crawl, it's the twisted goat jump! Crow spasms! The rat roars! The elephant squirms! A sinister growl! Angry octopus! Crawl! Split! Go ashore! Octopus twist! Indiscriminate attack! Indiscriminate attack! Indiscriminate attack! Indiscriminate attack! (Crawling) (Wriggling) (Splitting) (Twisting) (Wriggling darkly) (Rolling) (Crawling violently) (Twisting) (Spasticity) (Roaring) (Wriggling) (Eerie growl) (Crawling) (Splitting) (Step ashore) (Writhing) (Spasticity) (Wriggling) (Twisting walking) (Attack regardless of target)
Do you think it's appropriate to stop here?
It's so rushed. Just finish the story in a hurry and end it?
(The thin lips parted slightly and he chuckled twice. A hoarse voice came out. His eyes narrowed and revealed three parts confusion, four parts doubt and three parts surprise. He raised his arms, bent his elbows and raised his hands to slap his forehead. There was a crisp sound like the collision of jade and swords. His eyebrows furrowed and his silver teeth clenched his heart. His jade toes curled up and clasped the ground several times. He couldn't help but sigh.): Are you really not planning to do the 108th episode?
... This is a bad article, the author has no intention.
I feel like this ending is inexplicable, not even the master appears.
The ending is a bit abrupt_(:з∠)_ So I'm such an old person... What about the extra chapter?
I watched it suddenly end... I was caught off guard, and the outline was drastically cut...
It's so short, can't you do it? ! ??
Damn it! It sucks! Damn it, you spent your money in vain! The previous writing was obviously okay, but why was the ending so hasty? It ended all of a sudden, and my emotions didn't really warm up at all. I was still in high school when it was over, and I was so convinced!