But Dazai Will Never Blow His Cover [Western Crossover]

Fyodor D.'s goal in life is to build a crime-free city from nothing. God said, "You can give it a try," and gave him, barely clinging to life, a League of Legends System. So when he woke up to find himself inexplicably teleported to Gotham, a city thousands of miles away with wholesome local customs, he had no money, was barefoot, wore brown bear pajamas with a chibi design, and had the blank little face of someone who'd just woken up. Dostoevsky, age ten: "..." Dead-fish eyes.JPG ? Who am I? Where am I? Why has the felt hat on my head suddenly disappeared????! Russian swearing. [Bonus Scene] System: "Our mission is to go to Gotham, the crime capital, and build up its infrastructure. Once it's been cleaned up, it's yours. Happy?" Dostoevsky: "...?" Happy my ass! You call this "building a crime-free city from nothing"? Gotham: "Come do me! Hurry up already!!!" Metropolis: "What's so great about Gotham? It's the same whether you clean it up or build infrastructure there. Darling, come do me instead~" Moscow: "Get lost, I'm the true queen!" New York: "Keep licking boots, and you'll end up with nothing." Bludhaven: "...Then should I leave?" Bruce: "... :)" Some guy next door who's the god of the human world: "Uh, what did I just hear? I think I heard Metropolis flirting with someone...?" A whole nest of little birds from the Bat Family: "?!" Dostoevsky: "..." System: "…" Q: What's life like after acquiring countless "hero" secret identities? Dostoevsky: Thanks for asking. I no longer have to worry about food or clothes. Every day, I take down vicious criminals and have a love-hate relationship with the city's vigilantes. To be honest, I can't tell who has the problem here, but either they or I (or my secret identities) have to be American psychos, right??? P.S. The protagonist has lots of secret identities and will never have them exposed. His sickly, fanatical believer traits are maxed out. A feel-good, over-the-top infrastructure-building story. An alternate universe based on the original work. A silly, snack-friendly read, so don't overanalyze it. Theme: The world is built on absurdity. Without it, perhaps nothing would exist at all.