The Zuan Trash Talker in the Martial World

"Who am I?

I'm your damn guide to the Yellow Springs."

Su Qian, a foul-mouthed gamer from Zu'an, was cursing out her god-tier teammates while playing an online game when she somehow transmigrated?!

[Congratulations! You have earned the title Mother-Killing Elite]

[Congratulations! You have unlocked the new skill: Foul-Mouthed Banter]

[Congratulations! You have successfully caught an NPC's attention]

Damn it!

How am I still this bad even after spending money?!

Everyone else gets a golden finger when they transmigrate.

Why did I bring nothing but the skill of foul-mouthed banter with me???

I don't care, I'm going to dominate the martial world!

Huh? Why are my weapons two cleavers?

Weren't you supposed to help me escape bad luck and find good fortune???

I @#%*... (currently cursing up a storm)

It's time for me, the legendary Mother-Killing Fiend of the Mortal Realm, to make my comeback!

You're talking about strength to a player who pays to win?

"I've lived in Zu'an for eight years with both parents still alive. That's my strength."

"The young master accompanies the flowers and loses his beauty; the Thief-Scent Steals leaves fragrance in his moonlit wake."

"Butterflies fly in pairs, their fragrance stirs the world."

In short: the dream of every young woman in the martial world.

Su Qian: Why do you get poetry written about you? Are you the designated male lead or something???

"Lu Xiaofeng is a man. A man you could never forget. Over the course of his extraordinary life, he had no idea how many strange people and strange things he had encountered. Perhaps they were stranger than anything you had ever heard of, anywhere, at any time."

Su Qian: If you were willing to shave off those two eyebrows, Lu Xiaofeng, I might consider trying to win over a libertine like you.

"Actually, being blind isn't so bad. Although I can no longer see, I can still hear and feel. Sometimes I can even enjoy things more than other people." This is Hua Manlou's outlook on life.

Su Qian: Big brother, I'm available!!! I can be Qitong's eyes.

"When your sword pierces their throats and you watch the blossoms of blood unfurl beneath your blade, if you can see that instant of dazzling splendor, you'll know that no other sight can compare to its beauty." This is Ximen Chuixue's aesthetic.

Su Qian: Are you having some damn delusional fantasy? If you love watching blood blossom, why don't you go greet my dear Aunt Flo?

"The Koga ninjas' mighty claps, the Blood Shadow's lightness skill, the Huashan Sect's Thirteen Clear Wind Forms, the Esoteric School's Great Hand Seal, the long-lost Cinnabar Palm, the Tang Clan of Shu's poisonous hidden weapons, the forty-nine Whirling Willow Sword techniques of Gu Daoren of Bashan, Shaolin's Dragon-Subduing and Tiger-Taming Arhat Fist, Wudang's Flowing Cloud Sleeves, the Jiangshi Fist of the Yan family of Chenzhou, the Five Tigers Severing Gate Saber of the Peng family of the Central Plains, the orthodox Northern School's Mandarin Duck Legs..." Yuan Suiyun knows thirty-three martial arts in all.

Su Qian: ...Hero, let's talk this out. I don't want to choose any of those thirty-three ways to die.

"The venom of a snake, the heart of a fox, the ice and snow of the North Sea, the rocks of the Tianshan Mountains, a lion's courage, a jackal's cruelty, a camel's endurance, a human's intelligence, and on top of all that, a ghost from the eighteenth level of hell." This is Sha Man's description of Gong Jiu.

Su Qian: So you're not even human, huh? A needy little brother who spends all day looking for attention.

"A young monk in a moon-white robe sat upright in a small boat, playing the zither. Beneath the mingled starlight and moonlight, his eyes were bright as stars, his lips red and his teeth white. His face was as lovely as a girl's, yet his gentle manner and graceful bearing were beyond the reach of any woman in the world."

Su Qian: You phony, self-righteous monk.

Note:

1. All quoted passages are from the original work.

2. The author hasn't read the original in its entirety, but will try to stay true to it.

3. This story falls somewhere between the A Dream of Jianghu (Chu Liuxiang) game and the original work.

4. The foul-mouthed banter is just for fun. Kids, don't imitate it!!! (Adults shouldn't either.)

Theme: Stay positive, punish evil, and promote good