[Naruto] How Am I Supposed to Beat This with a Battle Power of Just 5?

Here's the blurb. You're a gaming nerd, and for some inexplicable reason, you're invited to test a new game. As a massive, high-tech full-dive VR game, it was supposed to be extremely safe. ...Well, it was supposed to be. Maybe your luck is just that bad. The moment you enter the game, the System tells you that you've been disconnected. Fine, then. You'll be a happy offline player. You like single-player games too. You make your character, choose a name, and enter the game in one smooth motion. You're quite pleased with everything, except that you typed too fast when choosing your name and turned Uchiha Izuna into Uchiha Yogurt. Then you discover that you weren't disconnected from the internet. You were disconnected from the world... "This trash naming system has no confirmation screen! It ruined my whole image! Ahhh! Stop making me introduce myself!" "Why is my combat power only 5?!" "Aaaaaah! I'm about to get trampled to death by a pig! Teammates, help!" "Speaking as a player who's terrible at exercise, I strongly protest! This game is way too unfriendly to us!" What do you do when your combat power can't keep up? Obviously, you cheat. [doge] After you pay to unlock cheats, your game turns into this: "Izuna, can I be your leg accessory? Pretty please!" "Tobirama, can you make some more life-saving gear and share it with me? Pretty please!" "Keep it up, Madara! I'll just lie on the ground and cheer you on!" "Hashirama... Hashirama, can you switch to healer?" Reader's Guide #Madara x Hashirama, Tobirama x Izuna #Don't even think about it, you don't get a pairing. You're just here to eat dog food. #Ridiculous crackfic Theme: Four big shots carry one useless newbie