Seeking the Way

The plot is quite good, but the writing is a bit rough. My wife can come back to revise the writing after she masters cultivation.

I won't go into too much detail about the description of the place, scene, and character's psychology. Let's talk about the first chapter. For example, when playing the ancestral rankings and discovering black beads, we can say that he No one had played with Li Yang since he was a child, saying he was a mourning star. Apart from following Li Haoran, he only worked in this small world. Thick dust had accumulated in the ancestral hall, but the tablet was covered with pulp by Li Yang. When Li Yang put the tablet back, he suddenly found something was wrong behind the table, and he poked at it. "Huh? This wooden board can actually move. Why didn't I find it before?" Li Yang groped around again. The ancestral hall was in disrepair for a long time. The table used to be painted with bright paint and received incense and offerings, but now it is also very old. "Crack——" Thick dust dispersed in the air, and Li Yang was caught off guard and choked. "Cough?? Cough. Cough cough. Cough... Such big dust." Li Yang used his hand to fan away the dust. After the wooden board was removed, the table was dark and it was hard to see what was inside. Li Yang thought, there might be some treasure there. If it was something interesting, he could show it to Haoran later. Li Yang reached in and groped around, left and right, eh? There was something hard, which seemed to be wrapped in cloth. Li Yang grabbed the corner of the cloth and pulled the thing out. Li Yang untied the red cloth and didn't care whether it belonged to his ancestors or not. He didn't care. "Well... It's a box, quite heavy." I don't know what kind of wood this wooden box is made of. It feels very warm and black, and it is much heavier than ordinary wooden boxes. It is very laborious to get. And for some reason, this box is not locked. Li Yang opens it directly. There is a thick brocade at the bottom of the box, with a seal on it, a few pages of documents, and a brocade bag. "This seal looks very valuable. It doesn't seem to belong to a villager. Did any ancestor leave it here?" Li Yang muttered. He picked up the seal and looked at it carefully. He felt that the words on it were very familiar and kind. "Li X . His father died young. Li Yang had no memory of his father and mother. The villagers despised him as a disaster star and no one mentioned it to him. Li Yang carefully put the seal in his arms and then looked at the objects in the box. The stack of documents seemed to be land deeds, but Li Yang was not curious. He was attracted by the kit. Li Yang, the kit was very delicate, completely different from the blue flower bag of the Ahua family in the village. It was also blue, with faint patterns of unknown mythical beasts on the blue, and misty cloud patterns outlined by silver threads, which Li Yang had never seen before. He fell down, and a round thing fell to the ground and rolled. "What is this?" Li Yang picked it up curiously, oh, it was a small black bead. The bead was round and transparent, but not completely black. The black inside seemed to be alive and surging, as if it had its own consciousness. It was valuable at first glance. Li Yang brought the bead closer and wanted to take a closer look, but the strange bead suddenly shone brightly and flew out of Li Yang's hand and flew straight to Li Yang's face. Li Yang was shocked and opened his mouth wide. The bead was actually swallowed by him. When the bead entered his mouth, Li Yang felt that the place where the bead scratched was as if it had been burned by a soldering iron. There was a continuous burning sensation from his throat to his stomach. Li Yang was so hot that he could not even scream. His stomach became hotter and hotter, and it became more and more uncomfortable. Suddenly, Li Yang felt a sharp pain as if his stomach was penetrated. His eyes darkened and he fainted. This is just my personal opinion. Please don't mind if it is wrong. My writing is not good. I just express this idea. The details can be richer and the image of the supporting characters can be fuller and not just paper tools. Adding some small habits to the characters can make them more three-dimensional. Since the protagonist has never been miserable or weak, he can have some special customs and habits that have grown up in this environment. I feel that the author has worked hard and hopes to see better works from you. I will always pay attention to you, Bixinxin.

After Li Yang said that he was playing sparrow specifically for Li Haoran, he felt that Li Haoran should first have mental activities (that is, thinking about Li Yang's behavior, etc.), And then speak to Li Yang, so that readers can have a smoother feeling. It seems a bit tight to me, and the logic is easy to understand. It is just my own opinion. I hope the author will work hard (???_??)?

... What kind of fool is this?

The protagonist is blind and it feels so frustrating to see

It's time to wrap up. I've written half of it today but I'm a little unsure about the direction of the ending. I'm going to carefully revise the ending outline again. I owe you a few chapters, I'm so sorry! If we make up for it all in this week, it will almost be over.

I caught a cold after running out for two days on the weekend. I was not very satisfied with what I wrote out yesterday. I won't update it today. I will update it twice tomorrow. I will definitely update twice. I promised to do it in the morning but I still owe two more chapters. I can't break my promise anymore.,,

Can you keep up with the daily updates? I just won't abandon the article. If I can, I will follow it. I think the subject matter is pretty good.

The subject matter is good, let's wait and see first