Don't Mess with a Homophobic Straight Man

A short, sweet 200,000-character novella. The whole book costs less than 4 yuan~

Homophobic, razor-tongued big bad Alpha 1 × slow-to-catch-on, sickly, cool-and-cute Omega 0

Older seme | Size difference | Mutual pining turned up to eleven

A new boy transfers into Class Six, Grade Eleven. He has a palm-sized face and big eyes, and soft, curling hair that falls beside his ears. He looks like a harmless little lamb.

Everyone assumes the transfer student is in for a rough time. Who doesn't know that Lu Xiaofan hates sissies most of all? The poor kid is going to get bullied badly...

Lu Xiaofan: Would anyone believe me if I said I ran into a pervert?

The exam papers he'd done suddenly disappeared.

The pen left on his desk carried a lingering, crisp, bitter fragrance.

In the changing room, Lu Xiaofan caught a little mouse. He pinned the boy in the crook of his arm and demanded an explanation.

"You've got some nerve. Stealing is one thing, but now you want to watch me change?"

The boy was red from head to toe. His voice was soft and he didn't dare look at Lu Xiaofan.

"I didn't steal... I just wanted to touch it."

"Touch what?"

"N-no, I mean..." The boy waved his hands frantically, only to accidentally plant them on the man's abs.

Lu Xiaofan: ?

An Fu: !!!

He can't get away with enjoying the view for free, right?

Lu Xiaofan figured he ought to get something in return.

Seven years ago, An Fu suffered severe burns and curled up alone in a hospital bed like an abandoned kitten. A boy carried him on his back and stayed by his side through the whole winter.

Seven years later, An Fu stumbled upon a group of people fighting in a dim alley. He accidentally made a noise, and a man caught him and pinned him against the wall.

"Enjoying the show?"

The other man's broad palm cupped his chin, his thumb pressing hard into An Fu's cheek.

"Tsk, pretty soft."

An Fu recognized him at a glance.

Both times they met, An Fu was in a sorry state. But now that they'd crossed paths again...

An Fu thought Lu Xiaofan ought to belong to him.

Reading Guide:

1. One-on-one, happy ending. The seme has amnesia at the beginning, but the mutual pining is off the charts! The uke is a little seducer and a total lovesick stalker.

2. Readers with strict character preferences, please stay away.

Coming Soon: "The Crybaby Bride Mistakes Her Husband"

Stuffy, old-fashioned general seme × innocent, weepy little beauty uke

A battle-hardened tough guy meets the softest, most persistent blade. Currently drafting! Coming in December~

Qiao Man, nicknamed Yuanbao, has loved to cry since he was little.

When he was nine, his family sold him into a marriage meant to bring good fortune, marrying him to the frail, sickly eldest son of the Duke's household.

Seeing the ashen-faced man on the wedding bed, Qiao Man burst into tears. His big, round drops of tears smeared the carefully applied rouge across his face.

That very night, he was sent to the Duke's residence.

The Duke was the empire's current great general and guardian of the realm, over eight feet tall, broad-shouldered and long-legged. Not yet thirty, he had already earned great military distinction, and his features were stern and bloodthirsty.

"Using a child in a marriage to bring good fortune? Absurd."

Qiao Man cried until he nearly fainted. As his consciousness blurred, a pair of strong hands picked him up, and he sank into a scorching embrace.

He clutched the man's clothes, his cheek brushing against the man's firm chin. Half-asleep, he murmured, "H-husband."

The servants hurried to their knees, trembling so badly they could barely apologize.

Xiao Shiyue felt the birdlike weight in his arms and wore a terrifying expression. "...Call me Father."

That night, Qiao Man stayed in the Duke's residence.

From then on, Qiao Man had a father who couldn't bear to see him shed even a single tear.

One day, ten years later, the eldest son suddenly passed away. His wives and concubines were supposed to hang themselves and accompany him in death.

The Duke said nothing, and no one in the household dared to cross him. They all treated the rules of propriety like dog shit.

Qiao Man curled up under his quilt, crying as he wrote his farewell letter. When he was discovered, he was pinned to the bed and kissed fiercely for two whole hours.

"Wah... Father?" The boy had grown into a young man, his voice and face long past their childish softness, yet he was still so prone to tears and so spoiled.

"Yuanbao, be my wife."

When Qiao Man first arrived at the Duke's residence, he couldn't read or speak the standard dialect. He was a little illiterate, always saying things like, "Sure thing!" and "Yuanbao, how about another bowl?"

The Old Madam couldn't stand how spoiled he was and thought he ate too much, so she ordered a matron to teach him how to serve his husband. If he didn't learn, he wasn't allowed to eat.

But Qiao Man didn't know what a husband was.

His second aunt had said that marrying a husband meant having food and clothes, and he only got those things after going to live with Xiao Shiyue.

So the fierce Father was actually his husband!

As soon as Xiao Shiyue got home, Qiao Man set dishes out for him, mouth watering. He stood on a little stool to help him bathe and scrub his back, but he was so hungry that his legs gave out and he fell right into the tub!

Soaking wet, Qiao Man was lifted out of the water, his stomach rumbling.

He was scolded for being "a fool who listens to just anybody," but he merely held back his tears and kept his head down in silence.

Xiao Shiyue: "Can't I say a word or two to you?"

Qiao Man: "I know, okay! You keep saying the same thing over and over!"

Reading Guide:

1. The eldest son is adopted. The seme is 22, the uke is 9, with a 13-year age gap: an older husband and younger wife. They fall in love when the uke is an adult. The uke is a male consort who can have babies.

2. Sweet and fluffy. The historical setting is fictional, so please don't scrutinize it~

3. One-on-one, happy ending.

Blurb finalized: 2026.10.4

Theme: Study hard, help others, and create a positive learning environment