[BLEACH] Love Bleach

I want to know more about you…

The protagonist is a student at the Shin'o Spiritual Arts Academy. Her days should have passed quietly and uneventfully. But since she's the protagonist, her life can't possibly be without its ups and downs.

Shin'o Spiritual Arts Academy / Rooftop, Gin Ichimaru: "Oh, what a coincidence. Why don't we walk home together?"

[Going home with Foxy Gin? Never mind how furious Big Sister Rangiku would get. He'd chew me up, bones and all!]

Shin'o Spiritual Arts Academy / Fourth Floor, Kenpachi Zaraki: "I came with the hairstyle you said you liked!"

[Captain Kenpachi, that's the same hairstyle as before~ It hasn't changed at all… That's the hairstyle Hachiro likes, right~ So you should go find her instead…]

Momo Hinamori: "Did you know? There's a legend that if you confess under the Senbonzakura on graduation day, you'll be together forever."

[…Does Shin'o pay Byakuya a licensing fee? That's copyrighted material, you know…]

Sosuke Aizen: "If you like, you can come talk to me about your troubles. But it has to be just the two of us."

[Heh heh heh~ Want to talk things over with Lord Aizen? Remember what happened to Momo~]

Shuhei Hisagi: "You have to come to my next concert~"

[I was wondering why your face has so many lines~ Turns out you're a visual kei star~]

Byakuya Kuchiki: "If I told you I hated you, what kind of sound would you make when you cried?"

[Ahem, ahem~ Have you been cast as one too many BL characters, Ayumi-san? My Byakuya isn't that evil…]

Kisuke Urahara: "Goods can be bought with money. But my love is unique, a limited-edition item made just for you."

[What can I say? The man really is a born businessman. He can even compare his own love to a product…]

Gin Ichimaru: "There are three people I like."

[Oh? Lord Aizen, Big Sister Rangiku, and who else? Could it be Kira?]

Izuru Kira: "Impossible."

[Hey… I was only guessing~ You don't have to deny it so flatly, do you? Besides, aren't you devoted to your captain?]

Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto: "***** is forbidden by school rules."

[Sorry, Captain-Commander. The censorship police are breeding like rabbits lately, so I can only censor your words…]

Mayuri Kurotsuchi: "Heh~ heh~ heh~ heh~ It's wonderful to be young."

[No need to be jealous… You were young once, too… Even creepy old men have had their youth…]

Kaname Tosen: "I love you."

[No surprise there. The blind captain is a paragon of justice, so even his confession is so serious…]

Gin Ichimaru: "I love you so much I want to shoot you through the heart."

[I mean… Foxy Gin's confession might scare off a few people, don't you think?]

Shuhei Hisagi: "Please go out with me."

[Mm… Just as serious as your captain… Though you might be surprisingly popular~]

Sosuke Aizen: "I'll make you happy, no matter what."

[With Kyoka Suigetsu?]

Kisuke Urahara: "I love you more than anything."

[Just don't love me so much that you decide to sell me…]

Byakuya Kuchiki: "I love you."

[Ah~ Those words… Maybe you'll never say them in your life, huh?]

Kenpachi Zaraki: "Let's fight to the death. I love you."

[No, thanks… Maybe that round-headed guy in Hueco Mundo would be interested…]

The dialogue above is excerpted from the video introduction to the official parody BLEACH dating sim, "LOVE BLEACH: I Want to Be Slain by a Zanpakuto of Love." It has little to do with this story… The comments in square brackets are my own snark… and also have nothing to do with the story…

Not a reverse harem!