I, Too, Once Thought About Ending It All

I also thought about committing suicide, but I couldn't let go of my family. They would definitely be sad if I committed suicide. I still can't make up my mind to die. But sometimes I think about how great it would be if I could die in a sudden car accident. I lay on the hospital bed, listening to the doctor giving me a critical illness notice, and then I closed my eyes with contentment.

Sorry, what I want to say is that "existence is reasonable", and there may be no way to explain why you exist in the world. It can only prove that you, as a human material body, were born under certain natural and humanistic conditions. There are reasons for its existence, and it is in line with "reason" but not rationality. "Existence is reasonable," does not mean correctness or necessity. It has no meaning and no inherent mission. It is a strange thing to pin one's existence on the vague concept of existence itself, or even on the contradictory and unclear definition of human beings. The world itself is born from the superposition of countless random events, something clichéd and full of miracles. Human life oscillates between the two opposites of pain and boredom, which is stronger or weaker. The energy conversion generated by moving closer to or farther from one side will bring happiness to people. But when the swing of pain and boredom gradually calms down, when swing and escape are both options, it is easy for people to think of death. Death is really easy, and it doesn't require courage. What people fear is pain and longing for relief. These imposed meanings have nothing to do with death. Just like the excuses and answers you look for, the choices you think you make. You don't want to end your life, you just don't want to shake it.