My Days of Eating and Drinking in the Harem

A one-sentence summary:

Someone accidentally transmigrates into the body of an unfavored consort in Beiyao.

And so begins her hilariously miserable life in the imperial harem.

The reality is...

[Harem Cuisine]

Tian Xiaomu looked at the food in front of her, wanting to cry.

Why was it pickled vegetables and porridge every single day? Couldn't they give her something else to eat?

With no hope of getting her request granted, she could only grow vegetables, dig up edible plants, and fish. Welcome to rural life in the imperial harem.

[An Ally in the Cold Palace]

"Hey, the emperor's got some good qualities, but he's hard to win over. How about I introduce you to some other handsome guys? They're super hot!"

"Really?"

"Of course. I'll show you what a true beauty looks like."

A maid stood behind them, completely dumbfounded.

Hey, hey, hey! You're consorts in the imperial harem! Is it really okay to be so openly unfaithful?

[The Legendary Ultimate Pitfall]

Tian Xiaomu nervously accepted the imperial decree naming her empress. She eyed the murderous-looking consorts in front of her, her legs turning to jelly.

Afterward, she grabbed the emperor by the collar and roared, "Xiahou Yu! We're friends, so why are you doing this to me?!"

Make her empress? His consorts are so hard to deal with. They'll kill me in no time!

Tian Xiaomu's transmigration manifesto:

Eat and drink for free, stay alive, find a way back to the modern world, and mooch off Wi-Fi everywhere!

Everyone: Now that's ambition.

Author: Characterization? What's that? There is no characterization. As long as it's fun!

Up next: "I Accidentally Became the Number One Immortal in the Realm". Please add it to your favorites.

[Blurb]

One year in the immortal realm, a sudden explosion rang through the sky, and an unrivaled master appeared out of nowhere.

In the past several thousand years, practically no one had ever broken through the Firmament Realm!

This immortal who broke through the Firmament Realm naturally became the number one person in the immortal realm.

All right, let's interview the person in question today.

"Fellow Immortal, we hear you've recently become the number one in the immortal realm. That's the highest achievement in the realm in hundreds of years. How do you feel?"

The interviewee looked devastated. "Could... could you teach me how to win my wife back? You can have the title of number one in the immortal realm."

Two female leads, both strong and formidable (=^▽^=).

One says, "I love you, I'll stay by your side and protect you, and I won't let you stray."

The other says, "Get stronger, get stronger, get even stronger. I want to go out and have fun."

In the end, after someone finally broke through the limits, the story's conclusion went completely off the rails.

Fine, you win. I'm done playing with you. Goodbye!!!

The interviewee: This isn't how I thought it would end.

Hey, come back here!!! I won't compete with you anymore. You can have the title of number one in the immortal realm. Come back!!!

After finally winning her back, someone spent a very, very long time kneeling on a washboard, holding up a little bamboo switch and shouting, "I was wrong," three thousand times.

Theme: Being a goofball is an attitude toward life~ O(≧▽≦)O~