Assigned Essay

It's a very sweet story, but it made me feel embarrassed. It's completely contrary... You can't tell secrets that have been agreed upon. T_T, what do you want me to say? Classmate Liu's love is very real, but Classmate Zhang's is a bit fake. I could faintly see the author's hand pushing. Why did classmate Zhang fall in love with classmate Liu? Nai's writing style is really good, the scenes can be switched easily, and the visuals are very strong. It's just that the pace of turning around and going out was a little hasty. I love this detail~~ Don't blame me for not commenting enough, you were the one who told the secret first. №54 ☆☆☆Uncle Ferry collapsed and left a message on 2008-12-16 17:22:10☆☆☆

When I read this article, I happened to hear Bjork's Joga again. There was another chill behind me. Your writing is very good. The title is very popular with me. When writing this essay, what I want is the distance that I cannot catch up with. After all, that introductory article is an excerpt from my old article, and what follows is the ending of "No matter how many years you pass, you will always be younger than me." This classmate has won my heart! The first sentence is a bit... Well, I don't feel mature enough to say it. I wonder if the word "in the next few decades" has any meaning. To describe it this way, it always makes people feel that he has only been demonized for decades, rather than expressing such a powerful expression for a lifetime. Maybe I'm being naughty again. In fact, what Xiaobai wants to pursue is not age, right? Is he after status? But when he was sixteen years old, Lian Hua didn't seem to be a famous person, right? So what is he chasing? Mature psychology? Can it match the other person's personality? In fact, it doesn't matter how long she chases him. Anyway, Lotus loves him, so what if she will always be a little idiot in his eyes? If it were me, I would throw away everything I have, sink into the dust, curl up in that person's arms, and only have eyes for that one person. The whole world doesn't matter. I don't know if others are as moved by this article as I am. I'm very touched. The last three sentences, I really want to say, really feel like they cut into my heart. The kind of relationship I like very much is the one that accumulates over time, relying on the other person wholeheartedly, as if it has become a part of the body and cannot be let go. There are not many fourteen years in a lifetime. It is not easy to be able to love each other for fourteen years. Even if it is not love, it is the most important and precious emotion in the world. I can't resist this feeling... Alas, I burst into tears. №57 ☆☆☆Large long stem vs tight large intestine Posted on 2008-12-16 00:48:00☆☆☆

This classmate is so awesome... I really like this kind of professional writing. In fact, I have always felt that as a doctor, what you need is to be calm and calm, and do your best on the operating table, which is the greatest respect for the sick. To appease family members and so on... I guess it's because I was young at that time too... Haha Overall, the text is very complete and smooth, and there are no lumps when reading it. However, the meaning of the last two paragraphs is actually similar, which is a bit long-winded. The author will see if he can modify it. This story would be very cute if written into a long form. Would you like the author to give it a try? №74 ☆☆☆The one between B and D left a message on 2008-12-15 21:30:23☆☆☆

When Wei Mao saw that "one day, you will understand", he felt that Teacher Yan had already predicted his own death... Could it be that he did it on purpose... Tears silently. . №47 ☆☆☆The owner of the microwave building left a message on 2008-12-15 19:11:06☆☆☆

Classmate, are you from a hospital? It seems strangely inconsistent. The writing is great, but I prefer it to be about unrequited love, and it seems a bit false to say that we are in love. In addition, interns have no right to refuse. Touch~ №46 ☆☆☆Uncle Ferryman's confused version left a message on 2008-12-15 19:04:59☆☆☆

Mouth! Nai must know that this question is originally from Porcelain [beep——], right? A few strokes convey a complete storyline. The writing is smooth. The density of text may affect time development or plot focus under certain circumstances. It is recommended that the description of actions be separated appropriately. Also, thank you for such a magical H article. №76 ☆☆☆Meicai, who was harvested to death by Wen, left a message at 2008-12-12 03:06:46☆☆☆

The book says "Suddenly like a spring breeze coming overnight", I recited it wrong, so I will hit PP. This... I haven't figured out the relationship between attack and shou (damn, the one with red lips and white teeth is of course shou!). Also, I don't know why Qian San was so obedient all of a sudden. I always feel like he danced a little too fast. The dialogue is very good and interesting. It is long when it should be, short when it should be, and the white space is also good. People expressed their liking for the last paragraph (it would be better if it is followed by H...) №39 ☆☆☆I'm so pissed... Left a message on 2008-12-08 22:56:09☆☆☆

My classmates actually asked me to write within 2,000 words, but you exceeded it by a lot. (There are too many words, so I won't comment, just kidding) It's so cruel. This setting made me depressed for a long time. I understand that people can be obsessed with things, but the obsession of these two people made me angry. Gaining is not actually getting, losing is not losing. We obviously promised each other, but we missed each other because of the persistence in our hearts. (Everyone: Don't they all understand that they love each other? LZ: Shit, obstacles can be overcome at all. Why stay in the stage of divine intercourse forever? The author is a pervert and strongly requests a follow-up.) I think the setting is really good, with the demeanor of a stepmother. Although there are flaws in the ending, the effect of the flaws is no worse than that of a happy reunion. With such character and persistence, although they are far apart, they still understand their love for each other. Judging from the writing style, it is relatively smooth, but when I entered the plot from the beginning, I started to feel a little stumbling, so I guess there are two reasons for this: One is a slow-burning player who needs to find some feeling in the middle (or maybe he didn't proofread it carefully after writing it. Of course, judging from the length, this possibility is ruled out by you and me casually guessing the brackets); The second is that it is somewhat different from my original expression method. When I enter the state, I will stumble first, which will also affect my expression. If you are a slow-burning player, you can refer to some superficial suggestions from one of my posts to inspiration guys (you can search the main post I posted with this ID); if it is really because of the change of style, then since I don't know what your original style is like, I can't make a judgment. However, I feel that when writing in a style really cannot improve, you may change it and then go back to the original style to take a look, and you may get different results. But after all, from a style that you are familiar with to one that you are not good at, you will definitely encounter a lot of problems in the process. The following sentence is a good quote, but from my understanding it is not very relevant and harmonious. I suggest you consider changing it to: If you tighten your hands, you can only grasp the air; if you open your hands, his heart can stick to your arms. ——Copycat version of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" №69 ☆☆☆Boring commented on 2008-12-11 09:43:46☆☆☆

That vampire's name is RAY, right? Drag him here and let me beat him up. Whatever is for your own good, whatever makes you happy, you are just a scumbag, scumbag! If you are a scumbag, don't quibble, you have no right to quibble. You want him to be happy, but you also make him wait for life after life. You don't want to leave him, so you just want him, and you don't want him again and again. You show your sentiments, appear and disappear again, and make him think about you all his life. Isn't this painful enough? Well, that's what the review is. If you look at my review, you will know that the article is very successful. №130 ☆☆☆I'm so pissed... Left a message on 2008-12-08 13:14:28☆☆☆

LZ has struggled with this article for a long time... Half an hour has passed... (I'm not talking nonsense, there are a lot of witnesses...) Okay, let me tell you straight = = This article gave me a very strange feeling. I mean the "feeling" is strange, not the "text" is strange. Anyway, I can't find a place to start my review. Just a few points that I can barely comment on... Qin Feng is very good, cunning, dedicated and patient. After a few questions, Gu Qing's emotional changes were a bit fast and abrupt, very sudden. Then, as a soldier who specializes in sniping, and also assassination, you have to remember to install a silencer when killing people... Although the sound of gunfire can set off his thoughts at the time, it is unreasonable. Then he said that Qin Feng, if he was only responsible for dispatching tasks, he would not have that much power to arrange who would be killed. If you have rights, you won't be able to escape so easily. Above Then there is another comment that lz asked for help when he was confused... After reading the whole article, I was confused. Not to mention the poor writing style, just in terms of atmosphere creation and plot setting, it is not at the stage level. It should be neglected, it should be detailed, it should not be raised, and it should be suppressed. People cannot do things beyond their abilities. It is good to have courage, but you must recognize the reality. What you can't control yourself can't be easily moved. It may be much better to start with something you are familiar with. It is recommended to do fragment exercises, for example, describe a scenery, describe an action, describe a scene. It will be helpful to read more Chinese language books and more good examples. I am back to lz, so I hope that I can continue to participate in topic composition in the future. Let's make progress together~ №86 ☆☆☆Fuqiang left a message on 2008-12-06 00:47:23☆☆☆