Silent Words, Lament of the Qin

First of all, say sorry... Because I read this article from a non-JJ channel…(PIA… Then… Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... This article is so beautiful!

Oh my god~~The relationship between the two of them is developing really fast. . But it's very unforgettable~~caress~~bonus points~~

Ah. . . So sad. . . Score~~

Alas, I feel a little disappointed. It's just a little stiff, but it's okay. Come on.

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I have read the article for a long time, and I want to give some opinions purely from the perspective of readers. It may be biased, and I hope the author will bear with me. The writing style of the novel is relatively smooth and clear-cut. It can be seen that the author has experience in writing. The places that create suspense also show that the author fully understands the nature of the novel. Because the article is not finished yet, I don't dare to comment on the layout or anything like that, so I will just talk about it from a small perspective. First of all, the beginning of the novel determines whether the reader will stay or leave. A good start is half the success, so the first chapter is the key chapter. At first glance, the author's writing style is gorgeous. The first chapter uses a lot of complicated descriptions, but upon closer inspection, it seems to be a pile of rhetoric, such as "He clearly saw that there was a bright red rose on the ground in front of him!" It was blooming with enthusiasm, and with a flamboyant and almost arrogant demeanor, it stayed quietly in his sad sight, and stayed truly! In this description, the author emphasizes the passionate blooming of the rose, but there is no sense of picture in reading. The excessive lyricism makes what is originally meant to be expressed hollow, and the writing lines are too hard. Such lyricism throughout the whole story seems too cumbersome. It is tiring and easy to read all the way. Readers will habitually skip it, so the plots included in it are also skipped. After reading one chapter, it is foggy, and many readers are not willing to go back to pick out the content of the story, thus losing readers who like conciseness. If the writing is more refined and the words are gorgeous and vivid, so that the readers will not feel the burden after reading it, but will realize the flavor later, it will be successful. Then look at the plot. In the first chapter, the male protagonist cannot forget the dead Zijin. I personally feel that there is too much text and it seems to have no plot and loses its impact. If you put some interesting conflicts at the beginning, the effect may be better. Starting from the third chapter, the plot becomes much more compact. There are martial arts fighting scenes and the character development begins to be in-depth. From here on, the readability will become better if some excessive descriptions are omitted. I would like to praise the description of the fighting scenes here. It may seem ordinary to readers who specialize in martial arts, but it is still very exciting for ordinary readers. Looking at the emotional line, the male protagonist's passionate feelings as soon as the article begins is a bit too abrupt and unreasonable. But when the author says there is a past, he uses the technique of cutting in the middle and omitting all the past. So in order to consider the reader's perspective, it is best to downplay this emotional description and use some specific memories to set off the protagonist's mood. Chapter 4 is written about the protagonist meeting a beautiful woman in the mountains. The change of relationship here is a bit abrupt. From the first picture, it seems that the protagonist is deeply in love with Zijin, so no matter how beautiful the beauty is here, she should not show it when she sees him bathing [My heart beats almost to split, thump thump, thump thump, as if it is about to burst out of the chest, making him so embarrassed that he is at a loss what to do! ] And [Leng Ruohan's heart seemed to be hit by something, giving birth to a faint attachment]. Also, the author is writing about Danmei, and Zijin is also a man. The words "Even when he faced the stunning Princess Liyou, he never lost his composure" in the article are a bit redundant and do not fit the mood of the protagonist at that time. Next, look at the character setting. The author sets the protagonist as [this legendary young nobleman, with unparalleled appearance, peerless martial arts, and noble status. All the glory in the world is gathered on him. He is the beloved child of the gods, the embodiment of perfection in the world of mortals! For such people, it is necessary to remind you that it is understandable to make the protagonist eye-catching, but from the reader's perspective, it seems a bit excessive. After all, no one is perfect. If the protagonist has certain characteristics, you can focus on introducing them, so that people can easily remember them. In the first chapter, the protagonist felt a bit willful, as can be seen from his order to bury flower petals in Qingjin Tomb, but in the fourth chapter it worked [Although he was hurt, he was still worried about others, which is the consistent style of this young man. This description is obviously contradictory. The author should think more before writing and not just for speed. Next, there are some structural details. For example, the appearance of the protagonist in the third chapter is a bit abrupt. At the beginning, the focus is on the swordsman. Before mentioning the existence of the boy in white, the sentence "the boy in white frowned slightly" was suddenly used, which is inappropriate. There are too many characters in Chapters 3 and 4 without proper details, which makes readers easily confused. Again, it's a small detail in the text, and the random use of symbols is a flaw on the part of the author [Qing Jin is gone! There is no need to use an exclamation point in such a statement. There are too many exclamation points in the article, which is a waste of readers' energy and makes them unable to get emotionally involved until the real climax. The article also uses random descriptions, such as "The sound of horse hooves that was so loud before could only be made by such a gorgeous and almost arrogant carriage." Shouldn't the sound of hoofbeats be made by horses? The writer accidentally used a carriage. There is also [The man in the well-dressed man's knife is desperate and cold. The man in the well-dressed man's eyes has a gleam of excitement, as if he is sure that his knife is about to drink blood, and he can't help but reveal a sneer] He was excited but sneered, which is an obvious mistake. Finally, there is the problem of typesetting. Too dense writing will cause visual fatigue. It is recommended that each paragraph be a little spaced. For example, there is a poem in the first chapter that can be highlighted by typesetting, and other lyrical sentences should be restrained, so that it can be full of emotion without being complicated. The above is just a personal opinion, so please don't take it personally. Finally, I wish Wanqin her articles will get better and better as she writes. Peach Blossom Water·Jiuli Ming

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This article shouldn't be so cold, right?

The bugs continued to crawl by. How come you can see Hua (the one downstairs) everywhere, sweat...

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