To You, My Dear

Another friend came to comfort me today, telling me to accept my loss. I don’t know how to accept it. Even now, it doesn’t feel real. Are you really dead? Could this all just be a dream? Could I wake up one day and see you lying beside me, safe and sound? Reason tells me you really are dead. I watched your body go into the crematorium with my own eyes. I collected your ashes with my own hands. I even chose your memorial photo, one picture at a time. You’re dead. My beloved is dead. There is no one named Pei Yingjie in this world anymore. I tell myself over and over. But I just can’t fully believe that you’re dead. There’s still a glimmer of hope in my heart. I keep thinking that one day you’ll appear before me again. Content warning: Bad ending, first-person male protagonist, epistolary format. PS: The entire story has been heavily revised. Only the final version is authoritative. Theme: Cherish life. Only by living can you see hope.