How Do I Get Out of a Chinese Textbook?

Chef Shen Yi accidentally fell asleep while attending a parent-teacher meeting for his high-school-aged cousin. When he woke up, he discovered that he'd somehow entered his high school Chinese textbook. The seemingly ordinary texts hid deadly dangers. Those who entered faced near-certain death, and the only way out of this terrifying world was to keep completing missions. As soon as Shen Yi arrived, he saw two Su Shis, one from Required Textbook 2 and one from Required Textbook 4, arguing. One kept reciting Ode to the Red Cliffs, while the other could only chant Nian Nu Jiao and Ding Feng Bo. Both claimed to be the real Su Shi. If they couldn't figure out which one was genuine, they'd die. So Shen Yi promptly made some Dongpo pork. The two Dongpos, mouths slick with oil, gave him a thumbs-up. "If you can cook a dish this delicious, then you're the real Su Shi!" Ding! Game cleared. The other players: ??? - After making his way through several infinite-flow games, Jiang Yan had learned the way to survive: only the most ruthless and decisive could make it out alive. But While he was slaughtering beasts in Returning to the Garden and Fields, Shen Yi was grilling skewers with Tao Yuanming; while he was battling evil spirits and villains in Li Sao, Shen Yi was teaching Qu Yuan how to wrap zongzi; and while he was helping Jing Ke plot the assassination of the King of Qin, Shen Yi was actually eating fried chicken with Jing Ke and the King of Qin in the royal hall. Seeing Jiang Yan, whose face was black as the bottom of a pot, Shen Yi sympathetically offered him a chicken wing. "Want a bite?" Jiang Yan: "...No chili, thanks." Goofy chef bottom x straight-laced big shot top #AFoodStoryDisguisedAsInfiniteFlow #TheBigShotsAreAllWonOverByMyCooking# [1. Important warning: Everyone is dumb and goofy. If that's not your thing, don't read.] [2. No one dies in this goofy story. Being eliminated doesn't mean dying.] Next book, coming soon: Match-Three in the Escape Game. Visit my author page and add it to your favorites! Blurb: After fixing his 2,048th game bug, programmer Chu Ying finally dropped dead at his desk. When he woke up, he found himself inside an escape game. As a zombie horde descended, the various experts discussed how to deal with it. The physics expert suggested using a nuclear magnetic reactor to electrocute the zombies. The chemistry expert suggested melting them with concentrated sulfuric acid. The military expert began drawing up battle formations. Only Chu Ying noticed a small bug in the corner of the game. After tweaking a few lines of code, the endless zombie horde turned into a match-three game before his eyes. Red and blue blocks went boom as Chu Ying matched them, and the zombies' heads exploded on their own. Bingo Match-three game cleared. Not a single zombie left. The other players: ??? - Chu Ying became famous, the ultimate bug-powered carry in the escape game. While the other players fought a giant sea beast, Chu Ying played a round of Fishing Joy, caught the beast, and earned ten thousand gold coins; while the other players dodged thousands of ghost soldiers, Chu Ying played a game of chess and checkmated the enemy ghost general; while the other players ran around in terror of the final boss, Chu Ying started a dress-up game. The fearsome boss, brimming with murderous intent and sporting blood-red eyes, floated up to Chu Ying and said coldly, "That one doesn't look good. Pick this little skirt instead." Chu Ying: ??? So you're into women's clothes? Bug-ridden goofy programmer bottom x terrifying boss who likes little skirts top Theme: Face life with a smile