The Peacock Flies Southeast... Never Mind, Let It Fly Wherever

Transmigrating into "The Peacock Flies Southeast" as the charming, unmarried fifth son of the Governor, Li Yanqi wants no part of it. I have to stop the Jiao-Liu couple from finding new and creative ways to die for love... Can't you two just stay alive and look forward to a beautiful future? Why do you have to kill yourselves? I have to uncover the conspiracy behind "The Peacock Flies Southeast"... Why do you insist that I marry Liu Lanzhi? Just because she's beautiful and accomplished? She's not even as good-looking as me! Li Yanqi: I'm so exhausted. I'm dead from sheer mental strain. If you need me, burn some paper offerings. At last, the clouds part and the moon shines through. He marries a Lan family girl whose clan is registered among the eunuch households. She's beautiful, has a lovely temperament, can host guests and cook, is well-read, reasonable, and considerate... She's perfect in every way, except for one thing. What do you mean, a Lan family girl? This is a Lan (Zhou) family boy! I just want to settle down and marry a wife. Does it really have to be this hard? Lan Shang (Zhou Jue): Am I not good enough? (smiles) Li Yanqi (his survival instincts suddenly kick in): N-no, you're the best! This is a fanfic of "The Peacock Flies Southeast" set against the backdrop of the Three Kingdoms. I wrote it out of lingering resentment from having to memorize "The Peacock Flies Southeast" in high school. It features various conspiracy theories about the Three Kingdoms. The characters' identities and relationships are based on the author's research and imagination, and some are entirely made up, so history buffs beware. A cross-dressing, brilliant, aloof top, skilled in both pen and sword X a transmigrated, handsome bottom with limitless imagination who looks like he's cross-dressing even when he isn't... (Wow, what a long list of descriptors.) Do you cuties still remember the terror of being ruled by classical Chinese texts? If fate brings you here, then fate brought you here. Please don't flame me if it's not your thing. Love you~