In the Apocalypse, I Have a Harem Too

A brainless, amateurish story. I'll do my best to write it, and you can do your best to read it. If you don't like it, there's nothing I can do. You can just not read it! I didn't ask you to.

Protagonist: What's our mission?

Xiaobai: Build a harem in the apocalypse!

Protagonist: What's our goal?

Xiaobai: Bring every handsome guy into the harem!

Protagonist: What's our guiding principle?

Xiaobai: As long as he's handsome, well-endowed, and good in bed!

Protagonist: What must we remember not to do?

Xiaobai: Don't get lovesick! Win him over bit by bit, get close to him, become part of his world, make him unable to live without me, slowly turn him gay! Make him go crazy for me and become obsessed with me!

Protagonist: What's your duty?

Xiaobai: Take care of everything in your space and be your strongest support, helping you and your harem grow stronger and stronger until you become the center of attention.

Protagonist: Good, Xiaobai! I hope you can do it!

Xiaobai: I will, Master! But with such a big harem, aren't you afraid you'll wear yourself out?

Protagonist: Uh... You're right, I hadn't thought of that! What should we do? Maybe I should disband it?

"Hey, you guys! I'm disbanding the harem!" the protagonist told his harem. "I'm afraid I'll screw myself to death one day."

"It's fine. You're the one on the bottom anyway. We can just take turns, one a day!"

"One a day? That doesn't sound bad! Wait, no. I'm the one on the bottom. If you all get to rest, what about me?"

"That's okay. Before we start taking turns, let's have one crazy night together!" the harem said, then pounced on the protagonist.

Protagonist: Are they taking turns raping me?

Xiaobai: Serves you right! Who told you to get such a big harem? What gave you the courage?

Protagonist: Uh... Liang Jingru, I guess!

Xiaobai: Gwen, get lost~