[Cristiano Ronaldo Gender-Swap Selfcest] Love Me Like You Love Yourself

Cristiano Ronaldo never understood, even to his dying day, why it was so hard for the world's number one, two, and three most handsome rich guys to find someone to marry who laughed as beautifully as he did, had eyes as pretty as his, was as fit as he was, and was good company. He'd even won the European Championship, married the Delany Goddess, and Mini had broken Buffon's record for oldest goalkeeper to play in a match (hey). CR7 had made it big enough to buy the advertising space on the front of Real Madrid's jerseys (hey, hey, hey). So how had he somehow ended up alone for his whole life? God said that when He created C. Ronaldo, He'd accidentally added: A heaping spoonful of talent, A heaping spoonful of hard work, A heaping spoonful of vanity ...Oops, too much. So He decided to make an exception for this devout and incredibly hardworking believer, and give him a little compensation: He gave someone who'd just drifted up to Heaven's gates a good kick back down to Earth.