My Housebound Author Is Procrastinating Again

Thread starter: The author I'm following has put off updating again. What should I do? Reply 1: Call her out! Response: Her skin's thicker than a wall. Calling her out won't work ←_← Reply 2: Throw deep-water torpedoes at her! Keep throwing! Response: She has my paycheck card. That won't work. Reply 3: Is the thread starter here to show off their relationship? You've already handed over your paycheck card, so what are you waiting for? Do this and that to her while you're in bed, then do that and this! Let's see if she dares put off updating after that! Response: ...I tried. It didn't work. Now she doesn't even want to get out of bed [manually waving goodbye]. Anyway, I need to go mourn my poor, battered back again :) Theme: