Transmigrating: The Phoenix Perches on a Peach Branch

Pre-story promotional skit:

Author Xi: (clears her throat and calls out) Everyone, come on over! Don't miss this bargain! The heroine is on sale, ten taels of silver each! For just ten taels, you won't lose out or get cheated. Only ten taels, and you can take home an all-purpose heroine! Kisses and cuddles by day, wild passion by night.

The so-called "all-purpose" heroine: Evil stepmother, no matter how much you dislike me, shouldn't you think about how the male lead feels? Do you really want him to spend his whole life alone? /clutches her heart and pretends to faint

The passing male lead stays silent for a long while: I have three, four, and five male side characters. I can go bird-hunting and admire chrysanthemums with them, no problem. /satisfied

The heroine turns to stone and crumbles on the spot.

Onlooker 1: So cheap? Must be a no-name, no-quality, no-guarantee product. /melon rinds and fruit peels everywhere

Author Xi: (sweeps up a basketful of heroine scraps, wearing a fawning smile) Ahaha, please don't make a fuss, honored customer! A hundred percent made with care and conscience! You'll be completely satisfied

Onlooker 2: I hear your heroine is useless, heartless, cowardly, obsequious, obsessed with money, and unwilling to spend even a penny! Is someone like that worth ten taels?

Author Xi: (laughs heartily three times) What a discerning customer! A thousand and eighty-six likes for you! That's right, all of those are my heroine's strengths! /extremely smug

Come on~~ A woman without book learning is not conceited; gentle and humble is what makes her a paragon. A heart without worries means fewer troubles; a single sweet date will win her over. Being timid means she won't cause trouble; she minds her own business and keeps the bed warm. A silver tongue makes friends everywhere; connections spread far and wide, and fortune follows. And most importantly, she's thrifty and brings her husband good fortune! /covers her face bashfully

Onlooker 3, overjoyed: I like this kind of heroine! Give me a dozen, gift-wrapped!

------------------------------------------Here comes the adorable blurb separator! I'm rolling around on the ground begging for follows! The boss says sales are too low, so they're putting me on sale, too!! I don't want to be lumped in with that silly heroine~~ /utterly horrified

The proper blurb:

Zi Feiyu, thrown out of the house by her father, the prime minister, has always lived the carefree life of a streetwise wanderer. She lives by the golden Zi family motto: If there's a bargain to be had, take ten shares from others, but don't let them take even one from you! If you take one share from me, I'll make you repay it for the rest of your life! Things have been peaceful for more than a decade. Then one day, she went out without checking the almanac and ran into him, him, him. She thought, if a man shows up at her doorstep, why not flirt with him? She could even coax a delicious little "snack" into a shameless, pleasure-filled life. But as it turned out, flirting with men is risky, so tread carefully.

Come on, she even handed over the kingdom. What more does he want?

You mistake my rare generosity for weakness! This is going too far! Enough is enough! She gathers all her strength, ready to strike. "Unleash the little universe!" She leans forward, braces both hands on the ground, sticks out her butt, silently counts to three, pushes off, and runs for her life...

Think this is an inspirational tale of an ordinary girl turning her life around and becoming a rich beauty? Ahem, maybe it is... (I think I must have written a fake blurb /covers her face)