Absolutely Idiotic Choices

Absolute Choices. Details below: ...At that moment, Feitan, the short guy with a serious fighter's temperament, finally couldn't hold back and jumped out. "I'll deal with you." I'm done for. I could almost hear the System cackling wickedly. Sure enough, the instant the short guy jumped out, the familiar prompt sounded in my head again. [Choose: ① [I've never seen anyone this short before. By the way, are you really an adult? (Say it in the voice of a madam)] ② [You're not even 155, let alone 165, are you? (Say it like a delinquent girl)] ③ [Next time you go robbing people, don't spend it all on toys. At least save enough to buy yourself some milk. (Say it in the voice of the gentle big sister next door)]] Th-this is obviously something it prepared in advance just to get me! These options look like three choices, but they're really just one. Aren't they all making fun of Feitan's height? Is his height the only thing about him worth mocking? I could say he looks like a girl, for example. Or that he's as cute as my little brother was in elementary school. Why would such a cute kid become a thief? I really don't want to pick this option, but if I don't, the System will punish me horribly. But if I do choose, Feitan will probably never stop coming after me. Of course, compared to what happens if I refuse to choose, offending Feitan is still the better deal. It's like choosing between dying on your knees or dying face down on the ground. You pick the less painful option. Even though all three options lead to the same result, if you look closely, there are still differences. The first and third options would both make me act out of character. Speaking like a madam or a gentle big sister next door doesn't fit my current identity or abilities. That leaves the second option, which says to speak like a delinquent girl. But there are lots of kinds of delinquent girls: the thug type, the tough type, the sunny type. I chose to speak to Feitan like a cool delinquent girl. "You're not even 155, let alone 165, are you?" I even gestured to compare his height with mine. Feitan's face turned green. Then I remembered that the System never told me to compare my height with Feitan's. Why did I have to go and do that! For a whole year, I'd imagined countless times how to handle the Absolute Choices that would come up after meeting the Phantom Troupe. I must have overthought it, because I made that gesture without even thinking. "I'm going to kill you!" Feitan gritted out, then opened a tiny umbrella meant for children and charged at me. Reader Advisory: This is a 2015 novel, the author's first. It's written in first person, has locked chapters, and the protagonist is a flirt. The golden finger is ridiculously, ridiculously, ridiculously powerful, and there are lots of them. The author wants to give the heroine every good thing imaginable. [There is genderbending and fourth love. If you can't accept that, don't read.] CP: Akashi, but they're divorced, though the author never wrote it. An old novel that combines Japanese anime with Journey to the West. A weird-frequency type. (So I'm a weird-frequency type, huh!) I want to revise it and write extra chapters, but it's so long that they only exist in my head. Theme: I'm an invincible type with golden fingers all over me.