If You Break Up CPs, Sooner or Later You'll Be Struck by Lightning

I was only a tiny bit too absorbed in chatting on my phone, and Jiang Li, cursed by their friends, got swept into a strange world by a ball lightning bolt But seriously, what weird stuff are #MyFriendsBrowsingOnTheirPhones#? What even is all this? Is it really okay to smash through the dimensional barrier between satirical onion news and a three-part island romance? Is it really okay to walk straight into the world of Harry Potter with the character setup from an otome game? Is it really okay to plunge from the over-the-top fantasy of bargain-bin fiction into a Hollywood sci-fi blockbuster universe? No matter what weird character setup I'm given, I have to work hard to break up the original canon couples, and I can't leave until I succeed. What kind of ridiculous loop is this? At least tell me which couple is the target of the mission, okay? I'm not a demolition expert. I can't keep breaking couples up in this story, then breaking them up again, and again, and again, every single day!