Quick Transmigration: Fail, and You'll Eat Shit

A group of prisoners escaped from prison, and Lin Qi was given an urgent order by her superior. She declared, "If you don't bring the prisoners back, the toilet will be your canteen from now on." Munakata Reisi pushed up his glasses. "Oh my! May I say that Miss Suoh certainly has my genes?" Naraku smiled. "Lin Qi is a good subordinate!" Uchiha Itachi kept a straight face. "I don't know this person!" Wei Zhuang radiated killing intent. "Little junior sister, huh! Get out of my sight with Gai Nie." Sawada Tsunayoshi blushed. "Kawakami is a good person!" Atobe Keigo touched the beauty mark beneath his eye and snapped his fingers. "That wildcat isn't the least bit elegant!" Kanzaki Akane's eyes sparkled. "Lin Qi was right. Shishio's white hair looks great with anyone!" Wait... the rankings don't match. I'm terrible at writing blurbs, but in short, this is the heart-wrenching (not really) tale of a female lead playing matchmaker! Note: The female lead has no love interest. Also, the female lead can be any gender: possibly a man, or even a nonhuman. Everyone except the female lead will be paired up in mixed couples (men with men, men with women, and women with women!). Ahem, let the power of imagination decide. More importantly, this is a silly, brainless story with absolutely no logic. Enter at your own risk, dear readers! If it's not your thing, quietly click the X in the upper-right corner~~