Taking this opportunity, after my story was locked, I reread "Yan Qing Se." I realized that when I first wrote it, my word choice, sentence construction, and characterization all had major flaws. The excessive adjectives even give me a headache now.
Still, the emotions I wanted to convey, the connection between Paxi and Chloe, are all still there. So I revised "Yan Qing Se," adjusting some minor details and plot points that were hard to explain, such as the cause of Chloe's brother's death. The overall framework remains unchanged, of course, and I couldn't fix every flaw. Thank you to all the little angels who are still here with me!
P.S. I've been under the pressure of heavy schoolwork for the past couple of years, so I haven't written anything new. Recently, I posted a very short story that I'd been working on for a long time. If you're interested, go take a look. I'm thinking about writing a vampire novel next, but plans always change, so nothing is certain yet. I'll always be here.
Like two animals licking each other's wounds and huddling together for warmth. We are so alike. Sometimes when I look at you... it's like looking at myself. We've known each other for so many years. Our feelings should have grown deeper and stronger with the passage of time, but my memories of you from those early days are so faint. Even old film reels, yellowed and faded, seem more vivid and bright than my memories of you... Father, brother, family, lover... He threaded his way silently through her entire life. He was her life. You once said I was better than freedom, but once you taste freedom, it becomes addictive, like a drug. Then Paxi Gatusuo will be nothing at all... Chloe Guweige... Chloe... My little Chloe... This was an ending we could see from the beginning, a path that led straight to death.
Theme:
Patsy appears in Dragon Five, and he's super powerful. Did your wife watch it?
What I saw today, I just scanned it. Emma almost cried during the middle part
I really like your writing. I almost cry when I read it. I would like to express my feelings to you! ! !
Inch wisp
——A brief discussion of "Smoke Blue"
[The water from the eaves penetrates the wall, and no matter how small the itch is, it will become an injury over the years]
At the beginning of the story, if I hadn't followed the divine law that the hero and heroine must fall in love, I would never have believed that love would develop in the relationship between Patsy and Chloe. For Patsy, Chloe is responsibility and a lifeless object. For Patsy, Patsy is like a gatekeeper, without humanity or expression, but after all, it is a kind of existence.
For Patsy, to describe the only human relationship between him and Chloe, "sympathizing with each other" is far less than "sharing the same destiny". He looked at her as if he were looking at himself. Their completely different destinies were closely connected by the same bloodline purification plan. The pain she was enduring was something he had experienced before. When others looked at her with incomprehensible eyes, only he understood the suppression behind every breath and rage she had that was beyond human endurance. It was crushing and reshaping herself into an inhuman machine in extreme pain.
The only difference between him and Chloe was that he came over while she was still on the way.
At the beginning of the story, it is more appropriate to say that he is "a family machine" rather than "a boring person". The fate of being with Chloe can't make him have any strong mental fluctuations. Will someone who doesn't even care about his own pain care about others? He just understood, but was never moved by it.
Was she special to him?
Yes, but it is only a little bit "special" in his meager and pitiful human emotions, but because his entire emotion is too bland, not much can be seen.
But the specialness remains, no doubt about it.
And what about Chloe? What is Patsy?
--World.
He is her only coordinate. Even if the feeling of belonging to a "human" is too thin, he is still the only living person in her small world. Among all the cold iron-like unchanging environments, he is the only one who is alive and changing. He is the only one who will visit her regularly regardless of rain or shine, communicate with her and soothe her irritable mood - even if his soothing fingers don't contain a trace of emotional warmth.
To her, he was the coordinate, everything that proved that she was still a "human", and the only sustenance in her emotional world - because he was the only one, he was the one she could not choose.
Love does not arise out of thin air. For a long time, they did not exist as love for each other, but it was also rare and special - even in the end, their love was still mixed with too many other things. What they supported each other was not just something as simple as love.
Both Patsy and Chloe have certain fatal flaws. They are both far away from being "human" in the true sense. Only the other person can "possibly" fill such flaws.
It's just that for a long time, at the beginning of the story, they didn't have the ability to love.
[The night is still long, and the blind eyes are greedy for looking at the light from afar]
Their love is probably a standard love that grows over time, or in other words, this relationship extends from family affection to love, rather than from love to family affection as we are used to seeing.
Chloe was arranged to live in Patsy's house. This short-lived cohabitation relationship was actually a critical period of transformation. For Chloe, she gained a real sense of "alive" existence. She was no longer bound by chains, and she had the power to move freely... While she was "alive", she met Patsy Gattuso as a "human" for the first time.
During her period of imprisonment, her "human nature" was suppressed to the point of non-existence through repeated torture. She had no ability to love others, and could only instinctively hold on to the only warm thing, blindly confirming that she was still "alive". Once she was reborn, her repressed humanity almost reached the level of a young girl in a short period of time. She developed the ability to "love" in a relatively normal life, and her emotional world was instantly expanded to the point where it seemed empty, so the only "Patsy" filled her entire emotional world. This was an inevitable choice due to hunger and thirst.
For Patsy, Chloe gave him the feeling of "home".
We always underestimate the power of details to change our lives and forget the straw that broke the camel's back. What changed Pa? It was Chloe who lit up the cold villa every night. It was Chloe who clumsily curled up close to him to sleep with him like a small animal. It was Chloe who ran downstairs wearing beautiful clothes suitable for her age and had a bright emotion that could be called joy on her face... When this kind of closeness became a habit, the small touches that had been accumulated over and over became... Truly unique.
As I said, Chloe was special to Patsy, but not important, because Patsy's "human" part was suppressed to an extreme by himself, and then she integrated into his life, adding a little warmth to the monotonous machine life. Even though she was clumsy, she made him... It could be said that even though it was slow, it really "lived".
It would not be an exaggeration to say that it was their first meeting. They met again as two human beings. The world they lived in was still only the size of a house. Compared to the complex human society, that house was too simple.
She was like a little girl lying on the windowpane hoping for a bear toy, and Patsy was the only one who could buy her a toy.
There was still only him in her world, but she got to know him, and she gave everything she had to him. When she was most desperate, just a word from him could calm her down... He was her coordinate in the new world, and the world outside of him was a meaningless desert.
The emotion of dependence was so clear, and she was so eager to love him so hard that he subconsciously raised his hand, and when he came to his senses, he unexpectedly made a gesture in response.
Love is waterlogged.
[It's enough to make me miserable, but my joy is also a little bit crazy]
In fact, the progress of love is finalized here, but I still have a separate chapter to talk about Patsy.
"Sometimes I want you to have something... While you're still alive."
This is Pompeii's explanation to Passy, the only explanation for Chloe's existence.
Chloe is the only thing that belongs to Patsy, the only thing that belongs to him. It belongs to Patsy and not to Patsy Gattuso.
He is the kind of person who is too restrained to reduce his "self" to a very small size. It is not unimaginable if the family needs to really kill Chloe. Even in the end, his "Passy" emotion can not control much self-awareness, and more belongs to "the butler of the Gattuso family", and the latter cannot be considered "alive".
"Living" is something connected to Chloe, because to a certain extent, Chloe is the only thing that is only connected to "Passey" and completely belongs to him - this unparalleled "complete belonging" is an existence that neither Pompeii nor Caesar can compare with.
And he knew that his time was short, because he was destined to live a short life, so he was unwilling to let Chloe follow him on the road to death, even if Chloe was willing, he was not willing.
In fact, he is such a smart person. It is precisely because he knows the consequences that he cherishes it very much. It is precisely because he is powerless that he fights for it with all his life. It is precisely because he describes the ending all the way... He is not sad, but precisely because he loves Chloe more than himself, he is willing to destroy the only thing about "living" in him to achieve peace for her life.
Precisely because of the difficult conditions, this sacrifice and fulfillment were so pure that it was shocking.
When Li An said that Patsy was a good man, it was an understatement... I would say that he was really a saint, the kind who loved Chloe boundlessly...
But sorry, I still disagree.
I know you will probably sigh at this time and say why are you so stubborn... But you know that he is facing Chloe, a Chloe whose world is small and only accommodates him. You don't know that a bird that regards a cage as its world reacts not with joy but with fear the moment it flies out of the cage... The world outside is full of desolation. I want to go home...
Three views decide. It's a joke to compare people's hearts under completely different three views. Patsy is smart enough. He guessed the trajectory of everything in his absence... But you know that being able to guess doesn't mean you can really understand.
Do you want to look down? High energy warning!
[Weaving silk into a web, tying an unsolvable knot in my heart]
I have been reading novels for too long, probably because the accumulation of quantitative changes does not lead to qualitative changes, so the accumulation is very annoying. Now I am not very enthusiastic about reading anything, so it is difficult to go back to the state of reading "Mirror" before.
So it's really... Not easy for Chloe to move me.
There are very few characters that can make "me" care. After all, I don't even know what I really care about. I am not moved by the plot but just by this person... Too few, too few.
It's just because I am who I am that I care about Chloe so much.
For some people, the world is so small and thin, and the things they can use to support are so fragile. It's not that they don't understand many things, but they can see them more clearly because they are outside the real world - but she rarely speaks, and doesn't know who to say it to, and doesn't know if she will make others sad if she does.
But there were some things that she really didn't understand. Even Patsy couldn't say that she could definitely grasp them, so she asked over and over again to confirm, to confirm her position and her own value... Because she didn't understand, she was at a loss.
Yes, at a loss. She yearned so hard but didn't know what to do. She had nothing but Patsy, so she hugged her tightly but didn't know what to do. Every move she made had a crazy undertone of life and death, but she was such an ignorant little girl. Her actions were full of violent aesthetics, but her face was filled with large swaths of water, full of bewilderment.
Life has a background. We can call it something mysterious and mysterious like the soul. The background that remains... Unchanged no matter how the memory changes.
She was imprisoned from birth, and even if she is given freedom, it is just a bigger cage. No matter how many times the white paper is reshaped, the background will not change much. If you admit that Chloe is still Chloe, then you have to admit that whether she grows up or not, her background is that of a person with a small heart.
No matter what she does, whether she is a killing machine or an aristocratic lady, there are not many things that really make her care. It can even be said to be so few that she still remembers the shadow of Patsy after losing her memory. Patsy's existence has been accompanied by the background of life for a long time, so that in the end, she can easily find and embrace it by instinct in the vast sea of people.
"Who are you? I like you."
Going round and round is still a circle.
So all the painstaking efforts of throwing her away, picking her up, washing her, and handing her over to hide from afar... Were all in vain!
I got it from Tieba, it's the name with a string of letters! I love you
Is the author planning to write a new article? I like this style very much.
, So sweet ah ah ah, first it made me tortured to death, but now it's so sweet that I want to cry ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah (>
Ah, I exploded, I exploded, I felt like I had reached the great perfection of life, woo woo woo
It's really beautiful. I really like this kind of love that is light yet deep to the core.
Patsy appears in Dragon Five, and he's super powerful. Did your wife watch it?
What I saw today, I just scanned it. Emma almost cried during the middle part
I really like your writing. I almost cry when I read it. I would like to express my feelings to you! ! !
Inch wisp ——A brief discussion of "Smoke Blue" [The water from the eaves penetrates the wall, and no matter how small the itch is, it will become an injury over the years] At the beginning of the story, if I hadn't followed the divine law that the hero and heroine must fall in love, I would never have believed that love would develop in the relationship between Patsy and Chloe. For Patsy, Chloe is responsibility and a lifeless object. For Patsy, Patsy is like a gatekeeper, without humanity or expression, but after all, it is a kind of existence. For Patsy, to describe the only human relationship between him and Chloe, "sympathizing with each other" is far less than "sharing the same destiny". He looked at her as if he were looking at himself. Their completely different destinies were closely connected by the same bloodline purification plan. The pain she was enduring was something he had experienced before. When others looked at her with incomprehensible eyes, only he understood the suppression behind every breath and rage she had that was beyond human endurance. It was crushing and reshaping herself into an inhuman machine in extreme pain. The only difference between him and Chloe was that he came over while she was still on the way. At the beginning of the story, it is more appropriate to say that he is "a family machine" rather than "a boring person". The fate of being with Chloe can't make him have any strong mental fluctuations. Will someone who doesn't even care about his own pain care about others? He just understood, but was never moved by it. Was she special to him? Yes, but it is only a little bit "special" in his meager and pitiful human emotions, but because his entire emotion is too bland, not much can be seen. But the specialness remains, no doubt about it. And what about Chloe? What is Patsy? --World. He is her only coordinate. Even if the feeling of belonging to a "human" is too thin, he is still the only living person in her small world. Among all the cold iron-like unchanging environments, he is the only one who is alive and changing. He is the only one who will visit her regularly regardless of rain or shine, communicate with her and soothe her irritable mood - even if his soothing fingers don't contain a trace of emotional warmth. To her, he was the coordinate, everything that proved that she was still a "human", and the only sustenance in her emotional world - because he was the only one, he was the one she could not choose. Love does not arise out of thin air. For a long time, they did not exist as love for each other, but it was also rare and special - even in the end, their love was still mixed with too many other things. What they supported each other was not just something as simple as love. Both Patsy and Chloe have certain fatal flaws. They are both far away from being "human" in the true sense. Only the other person can "possibly" fill such flaws. It's just that for a long time, at the beginning of the story, they didn't have the ability to love. [The night is still long, and the blind eyes are greedy for looking at the light from afar] Their love is probably a standard love that grows over time, or in other words, this relationship extends from family affection to love, rather than from love to family affection as we are used to seeing. Chloe was arranged to live in Patsy's house. This short-lived cohabitation relationship was actually a critical period of transformation. For Chloe, she gained a real sense of "alive" existence. She was no longer bound by chains, and she had the power to move freely... While she was "alive", she met Patsy Gattuso as a "human" for the first time. During her period of imprisonment, her "human nature" was suppressed to the point of non-existence through repeated torture. She had no ability to love others, and could only instinctively hold on to the only warm thing, blindly confirming that she was still "alive". Once she was reborn, her repressed humanity almost reached the level of a young girl in a short period of time. She developed the ability to "love" in a relatively normal life, and her emotional world was instantly expanded to the point where it seemed empty, so the only "Patsy" filled her entire emotional world. This was an inevitable choice due to hunger and thirst. For Patsy, Chloe gave him the feeling of "home". We always underestimate the power of details to change our lives and forget the straw that broke the camel's back. What changed Pa? It was Chloe who lit up the cold villa every night. It was Chloe who clumsily curled up close to him to sleep with him like a small animal. It was Chloe who ran downstairs wearing beautiful clothes suitable for her age and had a bright emotion that could be called joy on her face... When this kind of closeness became a habit, the small touches that had been accumulated over and over became... Truly unique. As I said, Chloe was special to Patsy, but not important, because Patsy's "human" part was suppressed to an extreme by himself, and then she integrated into his life, adding a little warmth to the monotonous machine life. Even though she was clumsy, she made him... It could be said that even though it was slow, it really "lived". It would not be an exaggeration to say that it was their first meeting. They met again as two human beings. The world they lived in was still only the size of a house. Compared to the complex human society, that house was too simple. She was like a little girl lying on the windowpane hoping for a bear toy, and Patsy was the only one who could buy her a toy. There was still only him in her world, but she got to know him, and she gave everything she had to him. When she was most desperate, just a word from him could calm her down... He was her coordinate in the new world, and the world outside of him was a meaningless desert. The emotion of dependence was so clear, and she was so eager to love him so hard that he subconsciously raised his hand, and when he came to his senses, he unexpectedly made a gesture in response. Love is waterlogged. [It's enough to make me miserable, but my joy is also a little bit crazy] In fact, the progress of love is finalized here, but I still have a separate chapter to talk about Patsy. "Sometimes I want you to have something... While you're still alive." This is Pompeii's explanation to Passy, the only explanation for Chloe's existence. Chloe is the only thing that belongs to Patsy, the only thing that belongs to him. It belongs to Patsy and not to Patsy Gattuso. He is the kind of person who is too restrained to reduce his "self" to a very small size. It is not unimaginable if the family needs to really kill Chloe. Even in the end, his "Passy" emotion can not control much self-awareness, and more belongs to "the butler of the Gattuso family", and the latter cannot be considered "alive". "Living" is something connected to Chloe, because to a certain extent, Chloe is the only thing that is only connected to "Passey" and completely belongs to him - this unparalleled "complete belonging" is an existence that neither Pompeii nor Caesar can compare with. And he knew that his time was short, because he was destined to live a short life, so he was unwilling to let Chloe follow him on the road to death, even if Chloe was willing, he was not willing. In fact, he is such a smart person. It is precisely because he knows the consequences that he cherishes it very much. It is precisely because he is powerless that he fights for it with all his life. It is precisely because he describes the ending all the way... He is not sad, but precisely because he loves Chloe more than himself, he is willing to destroy the only thing about "living" in him to achieve peace for her life. Precisely because of the difficult conditions, this sacrifice and fulfillment were so pure that it was shocking. When Li An said that Patsy was a good man, it was an understatement... I would say that he was really a saint, the kind who loved Chloe boundlessly... But sorry, I still disagree. I know you will probably sigh at this time and say why are you so stubborn... But you know that he is facing Chloe, a Chloe whose world is small and only accommodates him. You don't know that a bird that regards a cage as its world reacts not with joy but with fear the moment it flies out of the cage... The world outside is full of desolation. I want to go home... Three views decide. It's a joke to compare people's hearts under completely different three views. Patsy is smart enough. He guessed the trajectory of everything in his absence... But you know that being able to guess doesn't mean you can really understand. Do you want to look down? High energy warning! [Weaving silk into a web, tying an unsolvable knot in my heart] I have been reading novels for too long, probably because the accumulation of quantitative changes does not lead to qualitative changes, so the accumulation is very annoying. Now I am not very enthusiastic about reading anything, so it is difficult to go back to the state of reading "Mirror" before. So it's really... Not easy for Chloe to move me. There are very few characters that can make "me" care. After all, I don't even know what I really care about. I am not moved by the plot but just by this person... Too few, too few. It's just because I am who I am that I care about Chloe so much. For some people, the world is so small and thin, and the things they can use to support are so fragile. It's not that they don't understand many things, but they can see them more clearly because they are outside the real world - but she rarely speaks, and doesn't know who to say it to, and doesn't know if she will make others sad if she does. But there were some things that she really didn't understand. Even Patsy couldn't say that she could definitely grasp them, so she asked over and over again to confirm, to confirm her position and her own value... Because she didn't understand, she was at a loss. Yes, at a loss. She yearned so hard but didn't know what to do. She had nothing but Patsy, so she hugged her tightly but didn't know what to do. Every move she made had a crazy undertone of life and death, but she was such an ignorant little girl. Her actions were full of violent aesthetics, but her face was filled with large swaths of water, full of bewilderment. Life has a background. We can call it something mysterious and mysterious like the soul. The background that remains... Unchanged no matter how the memory changes. She was imprisoned from birth, and even if she is given freedom, it is just a bigger cage. No matter how many times the white paper is reshaped, the background will not change much. If you admit that Chloe is still Chloe, then you have to admit that whether she grows up or not, her background is that of a person with a small heart. No matter what she does, whether she is a killing machine or an aristocratic lady, there are not many things that really make her care. It can even be said to be so few that she still remembers the shadow of Patsy after losing her memory. Patsy's existence has been accompanied by the background of life for a long time, so that in the end, she can easily find and embrace it by instinct in the vast sea of people. "Who are you? I like you." Going round and round is still a circle. So all the painstaking efforts of throwing her away, picking her up, washing her, and handing her over to hide from afar... Were all in vain!
I got it from Tieba, it's the name with a string of letters! I love you
Is the author planning to write a new article? I like this style very much.
, So sweet ah ah ah, first it made me tortured to death, but now it's so sweet that I want to cry ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah (>
Ah, I exploded, I exploded, I felt like I had reached the great perfection of life, woo woo woo
It's really beautiful. I really like this kind of love that is light yet deep to the core.
Like😊