The story is mainly about a young female mechanic (not yet graduated) in the New Era who accidentally stumbles upon a literary rabbit hole while browsing online fiction, accidentally starts following a story, and accidentally ends up pursuing its author...
In the New Era, humanity has moved underground. Everyone lives alone in a cabin mockingly called a "peanut shell" and communicates through the Light Net. Leaving your cabin or allowing someone else inside is dangerous. Everyone knows that.
How much courage does it take to ask for a real embrace?
At first, I wanted to call this story "Shell," but once I started writing, I realized I'm just a goofball... So I gave up trying to make it literary...
Science fiction setting. The author doesn't know enough science, so it's all imagination... Medium-length, happy ending
He is only eighteen years old, and he is indeed a bright and sad age at a 45° angle. I don't know if such an old 45°Geng Xiaohui can get it.
Congratulations on coming of age! The future is still very long and very fast.
The writing is very nice. Well, really. I feel so sad after reading this
. . . . . Is the author giving up?
It's been half a month and I feel like I'm dying... But please update
It's been a month. You're still alive, right?
Long review of "On the correct way to seduce literary and artistic writers"
Ah, Ayu is good.
When I write a long review, in order to be polite, I usually say hello first and then explain why I am here. This way, even if I want to stab the author desperately, at least I will look more polite. But since it's Ayu, I'll just say a few words.
The meaning of the above is that I don't really want to write a long review to you, and you are not the only one to receive a long review. It is purely because I want to increase my social status and can't think of any gifts to give. Yes, that's it.
Then let's get to the point. It seems that I have never praised you in such detail.
In fact, when I first read Ayou's article, I thought "the author looks cute" - just look at my sentence "PLAY", I am trying hard to practice how to make jokes. But then your writing style... Well, how should I put it, the detail of your writing style suddenly improved, and it didn't look so strange.
I had this feeling when watching the second half of "Cannon Fodder". Your writing is very good, but at that time it was only as good as a school composition. To put it bluntly, you are very good at depicting dead objects such as landscapes, but you rarely portray the emotions of characters. When I saw the cute rabbit part, I felt that you were just using scenery to fill the number of words. Although the writing is very good, it has no effect on advancing the plot.
At that time, I classified you as a kind of author with a "slightly big brain". I still remember that when Queen Muyin and He Xiaobai went out to kill monsters, there was a scene where they held hands because of that monster. Maybe at that time, other people would have a row of YOOOOOOO~ in their minds, but I didn't feel it at all. I felt that the plot was a bit strange, as if it was specially made up for the sake of emotional development.
How to say it.
In my impression, love is something that needs to be cooked slowly, not by holding hands to heat up the relationship like you do, but by waiting for the atmosphere to slowly get thicker (the stove is hot), and then one of the parties has the intention, and by chance, the scene is created. In short, both parties in the relationship know that it is almost there, just a little bit closer, and then it becomes like this.
To put it bluntly, if I were to arrange it, and if it was written in the third person, I would first improve the appearance of one of the parties, most likely the attacker. Let Queen Muyin kill everyone in an instant. In the end, she stood among a pile of corpses and turned around. The lack of clothes showed off her figure (for fighting, don't mention the lack of clothes, it's okay to have no clothes). A drop of blood slipped on her face. Her black hair was messy and beautiful. Then she blinked at He Xiaobai with her long eyelashes and gave a bloody smile (Hey). It was written from He Xiaobai's perspective. In the end, it reaches a consequence, the reader: ah ah, Queen Mu is so handsome, and then it seems logical to be tempted, and then it is best that this killing was planned by He Xiaobai and her behind the scenes, and then he said:
"It's over here too."
"Oh, how much time can be wasted."
The two exchanged a meaningful smile, and then the recipient was bewitched by that smile, and his heart beat faster - this is how the third person should be played! I am a picture person!
…No, wait, I need to brake. This is the case of Yu Jie Xiaobai, so change the reaction and delete the lines. It seems a bit broken.
Ahem, in short, turn back, turn back.
Your handling of the plot was pretty good at that time, at least much better than mine. But I'm not very good at writing about emotions, so the handling is very strange.
A thousand words of preface, first suppress and then expand, I can finally start to praise you.
But this "Literary Author" is different. (Don't want to waste time, this is the abbreviation)
It was handled so well. If the writing style hadn't been similar and you had published a short story "Secret Love" (that one was also well written, why the hell was it BE), I would have thought you were reborn. After becoming a great god, he was reborn and then posted this article.
The writing style is still the consistent recall style. The writing style is actually the tone of telling a story. It feels like you are telling something that happened a long time ago. This is why I think you are very easy to hook up with. Your writing style makes me feel like I am chatting with an old friend when I am reading. We are sitting on the recliner, and the chair is still shaking. There is the smell of weeds in the air, and the sun shines on my eyes. I turn around to avoid it, and then you think I am not listening because of my actions, so you stop angrily. You will be willing to continue talking only after I have finished explaining.
I like this style of writing very much.
Of course, this only refers to the writing style and not to you.
The advantage of the memory style is that the story will be very detailed and vivid, but another disadvantage is that it will prolong the rhythm of the story - adventure stories are definitely not suitable for this style of writing. Suspense maybe, but also a bit of tension. However, it is absolutely suitable for writing a short story.
This style of writing is so meticulous that I can read the picture without even imagining it. I was taken in before I even clicked on the first page of the mobile phone page. The first reason I wanted to read this story was because of the writing style. Then after the world view came out, I thought, "Oh, yes, this author has a great imagination." This way, there are even more reasons to read on.
But, just like this, it's not enough to make me jealous of you.
What's even more enviable is that despite such memories, it still retains the element of comedy. I was super happy to watch the scene where Ha Yi burst into tears because of his homework.
Well, this brings me to that memory from before. Why did I add the detail of sunshine? Because it's not only the leisurely feeling of memories, but also the joy brought by this kind of character. Say it in a joking way. No matter how literary or artistic you are, you can't hide your funny nature.
In my words, it is...
I'm so jealous of you, how can you write so well. Lift the table
That plot is so well written, I will analyze it scientifically next. I believe this plot has been in your mind for a while, otherwise it wouldn't be so well written [the tone smells like lemon]. First of all, you wrote the plot of Xie Zhengyi. Although it is in the future, because of the homework, it gives readers a certain sense of involvement. This character is quite good and can be funny. Originally it was not in line with the literary and artistic memory style, but now that you have taken care of it, it will be fine.
-Get a sense of immersion
Then there is the worldview. You used the plot of the homework to bring out the career system of this world, and successfully introduced it in one chapter. One chapter, which can be said concisely without any nonsense, without making people feel too cumbersome - it was quite painful for me to deal with it. Because I think too much, I am worried that readers who really read every word will think I am too verbose, and I am also worried that readers who read ten lines at a time will not understand what I am talking about.
Anyway, I'm jealous of you, just jealous of you, I don't need you to control me.
- World view get
OKAY, I'm done with the beginning, let's continue.
Amu's character. I saw someone in the comments saying that your character design is the same every time...
The problem of character creation. It seemed true at first, but I didn't think so later on. Amu is great, okay? It's so good that I can relate to reality. Just kidding, rabbit, cat ears, I recommend Ah Yi... These plots are detailed enough, but I can't imagine Amu becoming a killer. Your description is very rich, but just right. I believe you will be able to create a good character in the end.
-The character design is also very good
Actually, I don't really like the CP you wrote. No, I should say, I'm not that cute type. What I love the most are those CPs that can be used as the ending theme of all cartoons. The keywords are mostly hard work, passion, pursuit, only, and the whole world. This pair of CP has nothing to do with it, except for the sentence "I give Venice to you."
At the same time, I was also a little lonely and couldn't help but start fantasizing. Because in reality, I can't give her a world.
In short, although it is a bit sad, really good works are those that can make people start to fantasize.
As the saying goes, why does a good work become popular? Because every part is perfect enough. A perfect worldview, an interesting main line, enough suspense to whet your appetite, and rich character creation - it is precisely because every part of it is perfect that it can attract all kinds of people. For example, Reader A may be attracted because of the world view, while Reader B may be attracted because of the suspense... Everyone's reasons are different, but the only common result is "I like "XXX" so much!"
A story does not need to be long to achieve this effect.
Of course, I'm not saying this is a masterpiece, what a joke. I mean, all you need to do to judge a work is the criteria above - and as for myself, well, I failed in all four, what a sad story. So it deserves a long review, even if it only has this few words.
Of course, the main reason is that I am happy. If I am not happy, I will not praise a word.
So, the word count has reached two thousand and six, the preface is one thousand, and I praise you for one thousand six, I am going to start to find fault.
High energy ahead, stabbing warning
Finally we can start, ah, ah.
Overall, the plot is handled quite well, and the world view is also very interesting, but the only drawback is that there are some detailed flaws in the story. Let me give you an example first, such as the scene of holding the pen in the first chapter.
I thought about this problem at the beginning. You said that the social infrastructure of this world is built in the virtual world. I like this setting, but how to transmit the physical objects? ——Then you brought up realistic machinery, well, I roughly understood it, it was an underground system, and I imagined a huge network on the spot. That scene was really science fiction, and I liked it too.
But, BUG.
Originally, in my vision, human beings still need to work, so work requires signing a contract. As far as I know, contracts are legally binding and can be used as evidence in court. And this is the future world - please allow me to spend a little time explaining my hypothetical future.
It's [I assume]. These three words are highlighted. If the author does not hold this position, then this paragraph can be regarded as a joke on my part.
Today's world is a digital world. The wonderful system that can be built with paper and pen, and the numbers everywhere are one of the obvious characteristics of this world, just like the magical elements in the magical world. What represents a person's identity is a contract, and as long as he signs, it is enough to sue the other party...
This is an obvious sign of modernization. You may see a lawyer holding a piece of paper in a lawyer film and talking plausibly, as if it is the truth of the world. However, you rarely see this in ancient master scenes. The same goes for ancient road guides. It's hard to imagine that you can pass the customs without an ID number and only a physical description. Because we are modern people. Things like the royal family have been reduced to after-dinner entertainment. It is difficult for us to understand that situation. It is too difficult. Unless there is an ancient person in front of me and let me observe her for three full months, and then I try to divide her into fine parts, otherwise it will be impossible - such difficulty.
There may be bugs in the examples, but you just need to understand the meaning.
Ancient times were hazy, while modern times are institutionalized. This difference is so obvious that most people can spot it, just as ancient businessmen ranked last while modern money worshippers.
Then, we can understand that the future is an extension of modern times. So, is it possible to cancel the signature system in the future?
Signature, oh, yes, I forgot to mention, that BUG is: why don't they know about pens?
Even if you have a virtual pen, your signature is absolutely important. How can you sign without a pen? You are fooling me like a three-year-old child, but you still think my IQ has finally dropped below fifty, huh? I'm already thinking about the scene where Ha Yi goes to the company to sign a contract, right?
Okay, calm down, don't get excited. [Take a deep breath] Maybe I didn't think it through.
Of course, there are various uncertainties in the future, such as fingerprint identification, appearance entry, and pupil scanning. In short, there are many more things than pens. My imagination is not very good, but you must get around this trap.
Okay, I think... I just threw a BUG to you orz that I am not sure is a BUG. But I really can't think of a reason not to use a pen. My imagination has not yet broken through human civilization. The first word of civilization is writing, and writing must be written with a pen, although I really don't know when it came out.
Then, please come on, 3,700 words, I have more words than the chapters you gave me.
Finally, happy birthday. If you don't update, I will crawl over the Internet cable to make your heart happy. Laugh
Update, update, update
Oh oh oh most of the time it feels like sugar... Especially the sentence "I give Venice to you" is very touching... The writing is so delicate and wonderful...
But when I saw my father, I became obsessed...
Anyway, thanks.
The car started but didn't drive. It wasn't sweet. I feel like Xie Zhengyi is a liar, just intuition. She won't stay with her forever.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, look at you.
Having said that... Regarding that experiment, I actually thought that it would be great if I could simulate the data of the protagonist of the novel and bring her out of reality to live with me... If real objects could be transferred to another cabin through the optical network... (In a sense, it is a reverse travel joke.
He is only eighteen years old, and he is indeed a bright and sad age at a 45° angle. I don't know if such an old 45°Geng Xiaohui can get it. Congratulations on coming of age! The future is still very long and very fast.
The writing is very nice. Well, really. I feel so sad after reading this
. . . . . Is the author giving up?
It's been half a month and I feel like I'm dying... But please update
It's been a month. You're still alive, right?
Long review of "On the correct way to seduce literary and artistic writers" Ah, Ayu is good. When I write a long review, in order to be polite, I usually say hello first and then explain why I am here. This way, even if I want to stab the author desperately, at least I will look more polite. But since it's Ayu, I'll just say a few words. The meaning of the above is that I don't really want to write a long review to you, and you are not the only one to receive a long review. It is purely because I want to increase my social status and can't think of any gifts to give. Yes, that's it. Then let's get to the point. It seems that I have never praised you in such detail. In fact, when I first read Ayou's article, I thought "the author looks cute" - just look at my sentence "PLAY", I am trying hard to practice how to make jokes. But then your writing style... Well, how should I put it, the detail of your writing style suddenly improved, and it didn't look so strange. I had this feeling when watching the second half of "Cannon Fodder". Your writing is very good, but at that time it was only as good as a school composition. To put it bluntly, you are very good at depicting dead objects such as landscapes, but you rarely portray the emotions of characters. When I saw the cute rabbit part, I felt that you were just using scenery to fill the number of words. Although the writing is very good, it has no effect on advancing the plot. At that time, I classified you as a kind of author with a "slightly big brain". I still remember that when Queen Muyin and He Xiaobai went out to kill monsters, there was a scene where they held hands because of that monster. Maybe at that time, other people would have a row of YOOOOOOO~ in their minds, but I didn't feel it at all. I felt that the plot was a bit strange, as if it was specially made up for the sake of emotional development. How to say it. In my impression, love is something that needs to be cooked slowly, not by holding hands to heat up the relationship like you do, but by waiting for the atmosphere to slowly get thicker (the stove is hot), and then one of the parties has the intention, and by chance, the scene is created. In short, both parties in the relationship know that it is almost there, just a little bit closer, and then it becomes like this. To put it bluntly, if I were to arrange it, and if it was written in the third person, I would first improve the appearance of one of the parties, most likely the attacker. Let Queen Muyin kill everyone in an instant. In the end, she stood among a pile of corpses and turned around. The lack of clothes showed off her figure (for fighting, don't mention the lack of clothes, it's okay to have no clothes). A drop of blood slipped on her face. Her black hair was messy and beautiful. Then she blinked at He Xiaobai with her long eyelashes and gave a bloody smile (Hey). It was written from He Xiaobai's perspective. In the end, it reaches a consequence, the reader: ah ah, Queen Mu is so handsome, and then it seems logical to be tempted, and then it is best that this killing was planned by He Xiaobai and her behind the scenes, and then he said: "It's over here too." "Oh, how much time can be wasted." The two exchanged a meaningful smile, and then the recipient was bewitched by that smile, and his heart beat faster - this is how the third person should be played! I am a picture person! …No, wait, I need to brake. This is the case of Yu Jie Xiaobai, so change the reaction and delete the lines. It seems a bit broken. Ahem, in short, turn back, turn back. Your handling of the plot was pretty good at that time, at least much better than mine. But I'm not very good at writing about emotions, so the handling is very strange. A thousand words of preface, first suppress and then expand, I can finally start to praise you. But this "Literary Author" is different. (Don't want to waste time, this is the abbreviation) It was handled so well. If the writing style hadn't been similar and you had published a short story "Secret Love" (that one was also well written, why the hell was it BE), I would have thought you were reborn. After becoming a great god, he was reborn and then posted this article. The writing style is still the consistent recall style. The writing style is actually the tone of telling a story. It feels like you are telling something that happened a long time ago. This is why I think you are very easy to hook up with. Your writing style makes me feel like I am chatting with an old friend when I am reading. We are sitting on the recliner, and the chair is still shaking. There is the smell of weeds in the air, and the sun shines on my eyes. I turn around to avoid it, and then you think I am not listening because of my actions, so you stop angrily. You will be willing to continue talking only after I have finished explaining. I like this style of writing very much. Of course, this only refers to the writing style and not to you. The advantage of the memory style is that the story will be very detailed and vivid, but another disadvantage is that it will prolong the rhythm of the story - adventure stories are definitely not suitable for this style of writing. Suspense maybe, but also a bit of tension. However, it is absolutely suitable for writing a short story. This style of writing is so meticulous that I can read the picture without even imagining it. I was taken in before I even clicked on the first page of the mobile phone page. The first reason I wanted to read this story was because of the writing style. Then after the world view came out, I thought, "Oh, yes, this author has a great imagination." This way, there are even more reasons to read on. But, just like this, it's not enough to make me jealous of you. What's even more enviable is that despite such memories, it still retains the element of comedy. I was super happy to watch the scene where Ha Yi burst into tears because of his homework. Well, this brings me to that memory from before. Why did I add the detail of sunshine? Because it's not only the leisurely feeling of memories, but also the joy brought by this kind of character. Say it in a joking way. No matter how literary or artistic you are, you can't hide your funny nature. In my words, it is... I'm so jealous of you, how can you write so well. Lift the table That plot is so well written, I will analyze it scientifically next. I believe this plot has been in your mind for a while, otherwise it wouldn't be so well written [the tone smells like lemon]. First of all, you wrote the plot of Xie Zhengyi. Although it is in the future, because of the homework, it gives readers a certain sense of involvement. This character is quite good and can be funny. Originally it was not in line with the literary and artistic memory style, but now that you have taken care of it, it will be fine. -Get a sense of immersion Then there is the worldview. You used the plot of the homework to bring out the career system of this world, and successfully introduced it in one chapter. One chapter, which can be said concisely without any nonsense, without making people feel too cumbersome - it was quite painful for me to deal with it. Because I think too much, I am worried that readers who really read every word will think I am too verbose, and I am also worried that readers who read ten lines at a time will not understand what I am talking about. Anyway, I'm jealous of you, just jealous of you, I don't need you to control me. - World view get OKAY, I'm done with the beginning, let's continue. Amu's character. I saw someone in the comments saying that your character design is the same every time... The problem of character creation. It seemed true at first, but I didn't think so later on. Amu is great, okay? It's so good that I can relate to reality. Just kidding, rabbit, cat ears, I recommend Ah Yi... These plots are detailed enough, but I can't imagine Amu becoming a killer. Your description is very rich, but just right. I believe you will be able to create a good character in the end. -The character design is also very good Actually, I don't really like the CP you wrote. No, I should say, I'm not that cute type. What I love the most are those CPs that can be used as the ending theme of all cartoons. The keywords are mostly hard work, passion, pursuit, only, and the whole world. This pair of CP has nothing to do with it, except for the sentence "I give Venice to you." At the same time, I was also a little lonely and couldn't help but start fantasizing. Because in reality, I can't give her a world. In short, although it is a bit sad, really good works are those that can make people start to fantasize. As the saying goes, why does a good work become popular? Because every part is perfect enough. A perfect worldview, an interesting main line, enough suspense to whet your appetite, and rich character creation - it is precisely because every part of it is perfect that it can attract all kinds of people. For example, Reader A may be attracted because of the world view, while Reader B may be attracted because of the suspense... Everyone's reasons are different, but the only common result is "I like "XXX" so much!" A story does not need to be long to achieve this effect. Of course, I'm not saying this is a masterpiece, what a joke. I mean, all you need to do to judge a work is the criteria above - and as for myself, well, I failed in all four, what a sad story. So it deserves a long review, even if it only has this few words. Of course, the main reason is that I am happy. If I am not happy, I will not praise a word. So, the word count has reached two thousand and six, the preface is one thousand, and I praise you for one thousand six, I am going to start to find fault. High energy ahead, stabbing warning Finally we can start, ah, ah. Overall, the plot is handled quite well, and the world view is also very interesting, but the only drawback is that there are some detailed flaws in the story. Let me give you an example first, such as the scene of holding the pen in the first chapter. I thought about this problem at the beginning. You said that the social infrastructure of this world is built in the virtual world. I like this setting, but how to transmit the physical objects? ——Then you brought up realistic machinery, well, I roughly understood it, it was an underground system, and I imagined a huge network on the spot. That scene was really science fiction, and I liked it too. But, BUG. Originally, in my vision, human beings still need to work, so work requires signing a contract. As far as I know, contracts are legally binding and can be used as evidence in court. And this is the future world - please allow me to spend a little time explaining my hypothetical future. It's [I assume]. These three words are highlighted. If the author does not hold this position, then this paragraph can be regarded as a joke on my part. Today's world is a digital world. The wonderful system that can be built with paper and pen, and the numbers everywhere are one of the obvious characteristics of this world, just like the magical elements in the magical world. What represents a person's identity is a contract, and as long as he signs, it is enough to sue the other party... This is an obvious sign of modernization. You may see a lawyer holding a piece of paper in a lawyer film and talking plausibly, as if it is the truth of the world. However, you rarely see this in ancient master scenes. The same goes for ancient road guides. It's hard to imagine that you can pass the customs without an ID number and only a physical description. Because we are modern people. Things like the royal family have been reduced to after-dinner entertainment. It is difficult for us to understand that situation. It is too difficult. Unless there is an ancient person in front of me and let me observe her for three full months, and then I try to divide her into fine parts, otherwise it will be impossible - such difficulty. There may be bugs in the examples, but you just need to understand the meaning. Ancient times were hazy, while modern times are institutionalized. This difference is so obvious that most people can spot it, just as ancient businessmen ranked last while modern money worshippers. Then, we can understand that the future is an extension of modern times. So, is it possible to cancel the signature system in the future? Signature, oh, yes, I forgot to mention, that BUG is: why don't they know about pens? Even if you have a virtual pen, your signature is absolutely important. How can you sign without a pen? You are fooling me like a three-year-old child, but you still think my IQ has finally dropped below fifty, huh? I'm already thinking about the scene where Ha Yi goes to the company to sign a contract, right? Okay, calm down, don't get excited. [Take a deep breath] Maybe I didn't think it through. Of course, there are various uncertainties in the future, such as fingerprint identification, appearance entry, and pupil scanning. In short, there are many more things than pens. My imagination is not very good, but you must get around this trap. Okay, I think... I just threw a BUG to you orz that I am not sure is a BUG. But I really can't think of a reason not to use a pen. My imagination has not yet broken through human civilization. The first word of civilization is writing, and writing must be written with a pen, although I really don't know when it came out. Then, please come on, 3,700 words, I have more words than the chapters you gave me. Finally, happy birthday. If you don't update, I will crawl over the Internet cable to make your heart happy. Laugh
Update, update, update
Oh oh oh most of the time it feels like sugar... Especially the sentence "I give Venice to you" is very touching... The writing is so delicate and wonderful... But when I saw my father, I became obsessed... Anyway, thanks.
The car started but didn't drive. It wasn't sweet. I feel like Xie Zhengyi is a liar, just intuition. She won't stay with her forever.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, look at you. Having said that... Regarding that experiment, I actually thought that it would be great if I could simulate the data of the protagonist of the novel and bring her out of reality to live with me... If real objects could be transferred to another cabin through the optical network... (In a sense, it is a reverse travel joke.