If You Still Can't Let Go

It feels good, but the novel is mainly narrative and written a bit like prose.

I'm a newbie, I'm an Aquarius, I saw it in the post, and I came to play with you...

Hello, I am very happy to comment on the author's article: First of all, if you still can't let it go, I would say that the title of this topic has no characteristics at all, and you will have little desire to click in when you see the name. Then there is the copywriting. The first impression is that there are many words and it is a bit confusing and not concise enough. It is recommended that the copywriting can introduce the characteristics and cute points of the article so that people can understand it at a glance, rather than a lot of she and he. . Let's talk about the names of the characters, Yuan Aini and Yuan Yini. I couldn't tell them apart at first, but later I could tell them clearly. Can the names be a little more recognizable? I once thought that I would always be like this, taking care of you with my birthright "sister" status. Where is the secret glance at the beautiful sister... Wow! My heart was shocked! As her beautiful sister watched her calmly, Yi Ni reluctantly changed out of her pink pajamas. Seeing this,,, I almost thought it was Bai Hewen, the beautiful sister who has always been called "pretty sister". --Maybe my imagination is too wide-open, but that's what I thought at the time. The storyline is bland and there are no exciting plot twists. The description is not so much detailed, but in my eyes there are too many descriptions of unimportant characters, which makes the plot drag on. The main thing is to look at the development of the story. The more exciting it is, the more interested you will be in reading it. In the first chapter, you describe a long paragraph, only the storyline of starting school and going out. When I read it, I really wanted to skip it. Then I feel like there are many aspects of your storyline that are immature. It's a little bit speechless. Ling Yulian picked up the heroine to go to school, but the heroine's mother was actually very happy and hoped that they could be together? The heroine is only in high school, would her parents really be so open-minded? In the eyes of parents, isn't learning the main thing? Please rationalize the plot instead of making an unreasonable setting. Although the characters in the novel are all imaginary, many things come from life. I hope you can carefully observe the people around you so that you can write better characters and settings. "Ling Yuli, have you got your driver's license?" "Not yet, there is one last subject to be tested next week, what's the matter?" Huhu, when I see this, I want to say, you should be writing about Chinese high school students, right? Chinese high school students are not allowed to take the driving license test when they are 16 years old. Those who apply for permission to drive small cars, small automatic cars, and mopeds must be over 18 years old and under 70 years old. Overseas, 16 years old is acceptable. I really want to say that campus writing can be dreamy and pink, but it must also be based on reality. Your writing is too fake and makes people feel ungrounded. In the end, looking at it as a whole, many parts are very suave, including the two handsome boys from the school set by the author who gave up a key high school for the heroine. Love is of course important, but if one only cares about love and doesn't care about studies, what's wrong with both of them? Is such a male protagonist really mature? In my eyes, such a setting is like a Mary Sue. Maybe when I was in junior high school, I would have thought it was infatuation or true love, but now I just want to vomit, and I feel that such a male protagonist has no brains. The scenes described by the poster are quite good. I suggest newcomers to keep updating daily and at a fixed time, so that there will be more and more readers. I hope the original poster can continue to work hard and write better articles. Ps; All the above are everyone's opinions and do not represent other people's (venomous snakes are used to it) ——Critical by Shicheng Studio/Wuxie. Please forgive me if there is any inappropriateness.

The rhythm is not strong, but the writing is very fresh, and you can see the author's intention. Come on.

I also saw your post on Tieba. Come and take a look and cheer for the newbies!

I saw the author on the Tieba forum and came here to support him, so I saved it by the way!

I saw the author's post on Tieba~ Come and support me~

Come on, I saw your post in the forum. I don't read romance, so I can only encourage you and write well. I think it's pretty good.

The lightness of the text can increase the patience of going on. It feels good to have a little more description later. Come on.

The writing is good, I like this style, keep it up.