The biggest mistake Xu Ruo Xin ever made was joining XX Company and getting involved with someone she should never have tangled with. The best thing she ever did was marry that very person.
A note from the author:
1: This is a marriage romance. The story isn't angsty, and it has a happy ending and a one-on-one romance.
2: This story is exclusive to Jinjiang. Please don't check my update rankings.
3: If you think it's readable, give me a kiss. I'll be waiting for you on my author page!
4: Updates daily at 9 a.m.
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Theme:
It's not kind to be stuck here! ! Don't tell me that Lin Mei is crying because there is something wrong with her marriage! ! !
This reminds me of Shanshan choosing food for the CEO. .
The big writing is fascinating, and the same article is updated. You are welcome to poke it, O(∩_∩)O haha~
Hello, the author is Da Ni. I am the commentator responsible for this long review: Uncle.
Today is October 4, 2014, and the reading progress this time is: Chapter 10.
It's like this. I didn't take over Guiwen in the first place. It was only transferred to me at the end of September. So I may have waited a long time, so I would like to thank you in advance for not urging me to comment. Because I have a lot of things going on in the third dimension recently, my reading progress has only reached Chapter 10. I'm very sorry for that. If there is any bias in the long review due to the reading progress, I hope the author can understand.
First, I want to talk about copywriting.
I wonder if the author has ever heard of the "Three Color Principle"? The three-color principle means that when a person wears clothes, they should not wear more than three colors. If there are more than three colors, it will make people feel too fancy and nondescript.
I believe that the application of the three-color principle is not limited to clothing. It is equally useful for our authors' copywriting. When I first saw Guiwen's copywriting, I felt a little dazzled. A copy that is too fancy will not only fail to express the content of the copy very clearly, but will also discourage readers.
★Suggestion 1: Simplify the copywriting and make it clean and generous.
Next, let's talk about characterization and plot issues.
What's wrong? Get vaccinated first! I'm a mean-mouthed person and can easily offend people if I'm not careful, but my opinions are always well-intentioned! So if there is any verbal offense, I apologize to the author in advance! You sir, don't argue with me!
How should I put it? In fact, the main problem of Guiwen lies in the two aspects of "characters" and "plot". I feel like, author, do you prefer to read CEO articles... (Don't beat me, don't beat me!)
What's in it? I think when I see Director Qin, I think of President Bingshan... Especially when I saw Director Qin's words "This woman dares to reject me" in a certain chapter, my mood was quite complicated.
I can't say that it's not good for you to write like this. This type of writing is indeed popular, and it's extremely popular. I estimate that there is still a certain writer in Xiao|Xiang, and there are still a lot of this kind of literature. Therefore, there is actually no problem with this subject matter. The problem lies in the plot, characters, and writing.
But things like writing can be practiced, so I won't go into too much nonsense here. Let me start talking about the characters directly. My dear, have you noticed that your characters are extremely thin? Both Qin and the heroine are very thin.
Seeing this, you may want to ask, why is it so thin?
Thin means that the characters are not full and vivid enough. To put it bluntly, they are fake.
The author keeps adding characters to Director Qin and the heroine, such as Director Qin's coldness, facial paralysis, etc., But in my opinion, these words are particularly weak. Because what Director Qin did was completely inconsistent with the character given to him by the author.
I would like to ask, why would a cold and indifferent person target the heroine again and again, even show kindness to her inexplicably, and fall in love with her inexplicably? Just because of the phrase "All directors are inhumane?", Just because the heroine doesn't give him a good look?
I suspect that this director has a serious face.
If you want to give life and vitality to a character, you don't need to keep adding adjectives to him. Instead, you should use specific plots and events to shape the character so that it is convincing.
For example, Xiao Ming went out with his friends all day long and was covered in mud before he was willing to go home. Then I tell you that Xiao Ming is a calm and gentle boy. Do you believe me? Don't believe it? In fact, everyone knows that Xiao Ming is away from home all day long, just playing wildly outside. He is such a bad kid!
Put it this way, do you understand? Character creation is not a pile of words. Everyone has a strong balance in their heart, and it is not enough to just say words casually. If you want to know what a person is like, you should look at what he does and how he does it.
In the same way, the portrayal of the heroine is also unsatisfactory.
I think the author may want to create an OL who is self-reliant, independent, shrewd, quick-witted, not afraid of difficulties, and passionate about career. However, I only saw a willful and impulsive little woman. The same can be seen from some of her words and deeds.
For example, regarding a detail in a certain chapter, the director sent her copy back. She argued hard and felt that the director was targeting her. From this plot point of view, I think... The author may be relatively young, so this plot setting is not very reasonable.
To put it simply, as a subordinate, she simply didn't want to work when she talked back to her immediate boss like this. The heroine is a veteran who has been working for several years. I don't believe that a veteran in the workplace has never suffered a loss or had her shoes worn.
In fact, Director Qin's behavior (regardless of whether this behavior is in line with the personality of Iceberg Man) is not very aboveboard, but it is not a big move. The first thing a new official does when he takes office is that as a shrewd OL, shouldn't the heroine not change her face even when the mountain collapses? Shouldn't we solve this challenge with all our strength? Why did she talk back to the director...
Ah, in short, what I mean is that the heroine's character does not quite fit the adjective given by the author.
★Suggestion 2: Pay attention to character creation, do not create plot for the sake of plot, but also consider the impact of plot on character creation.
In terms of plot, I think there are some things that are not very reasonable. For example, there is no foreshadowing for the rapidly developing relationship between the male and female protagonists... Why on earth does the male protagonist have a crush on the female protagonist... It is completely unclear! So the series of ambiguities they had later were really unexpected... I hope the author can pay attention to this issue...
★Suggestion 3: Pay attention to the rationality and logic of the plot.
Finally, let's talk about the use of words. I found that in a certain chapter, when the director and the heroine were dancing, there was a word that surprised me - "Someone was too divorced tonight" and "That kind of divorced behavior was also stopped that night."
At first I thought it was the author who was about to type incorrectly, but unexpectedly two places appeared in succession, which made me a little confused. Author Junqaq Do you know, divorce means divorce... So don't use it like this, okay?
★Suggestion 4: Pay attention to the use of words.
In fact, there are still many problems... I think the author still needs to accumulate more. I feel that the whole article is relatively boring. I think the plot often relies on three-dimensional experience. Well, no matter what, this article is the author's first article, so there is still a lot of room for improvement!
Well 030 I still have the same harsh words. I may have a bad mouth, but my starting point is definitely not bad. So if I accidentally offended you, I hope the author can forgive me!
Finally, I wish the author good luck in writing the article!
——By Shicheng Studio. Commentator: Uncle.
——Serve you wholeheartedly=w=
Spread the flowers, hehe, come and take a look, the author, please give it a try! Okay, let's take it first, la la la
I guess it's on the ground floor of her house, haha
Ah, Song Lei has something to do with her sister's death, right?
Oops, getting sick and being hospitalized is always a necessary plot for the development of adultery, haha
Catching insects is not enough~~
I feel like the author is good at naming names~
It's not kind to be stuck here! ! Don't tell me that Lin Mei is crying because there is something wrong with her marriage! ! !
This reminds me of Shanshan choosing food for the CEO. .
The big writing is fascinating, and the same article is updated. You are welcome to poke it, O(∩_∩)O haha~
Hello, the author is Da Ni. I am the commentator responsible for this long review: Uncle. Today is October 4, 2014, and the reading progress this time is: Chapter 10. It's like this. I didn't take over Guiwen in the first place. It was only transferred to me at the end of September. So I may have waited a long time, so I would like to thank you in advance for not urging me to comment. Because I have a lot of things going on in the third dimension recently, my reading progress has only reached Chapter 10. I'm very sorry for that. If there is any bias in the long review due to the reading progress, I hope the author can understand. First, I want to talk about copywriting. I wonder if the author has ever heard of the "Three Color Principle"? The three-color principle means that when a person wears clothes, they should not wear more than three colors. If there are more than three colors, it will make people feel too fancy and nondescript. I believe that the application of the three-color principle is not limited to clothing. It is equally useful for our authors' copywriting. When I first saw Guiwen's copywriting, I felt a little dazzled. A copy that is too fancy will not only fail to express the content of the copy very clearly, but will also discourage readers. ★Suggestion 1: Simplify the copywriting and make it clean and generous. Next, let's talk about characterization and plot issues. What's wrong? Get vaccinated first! I'm a mean-mouthed person and can easily offend people if I'm not careful, but my opinions are always well-intentioned! So if there is any verbal offense, I apologize to the author in advance! You sir, don't argue with me! How should I put it? In fact, the main problem of Guiwen lies in the two aspects of "characters" and "plot". I feel like, author, do you prefer to read CEO articles... (Don't beat me, don't beat me!) What's in it? I think when I see Director Qin, I think of President Bingshan... Especially when I saw Director Qin's words "This woman dares to reject me" in a certain chapter, my mood was quite complicated. I can't say that it's not good for you to write like this. This type of writing is indeed popular, and it's extremely popular. I estimate that there is still a certain writer in Xiao|Xiang, and there are still a lot of this kind of literature. Therefore, there is actually no problem with this subject matter. The problem lies in the plot, characters, and writing. But things like writing can be practiced, so I won't go into too much nonsense here. Let me start talking about the characters directly. My dear, have you noticed that your characters are extremely thin? Both Qin and the heroine are very thin. Seeing this, you may want to ask, why is it so thin? Thin means that the characters are not full and vivid enough. To put it bluntly, they are fake. The author keeps adding characters to Director Qin and the heroine, such as Director Qin's coldness, facial paralysis, etc., But in my opinion, these words are particularly weak. Because what Director Qin did was completely inconsistent with the character given to him by the author. I would like to ask, why would a cold and indifferent person target the heroine again and again, even show kindness to her inexplicably, and fall in love with her inexplicably? Just because of the phrase "All directors are inhumane?", Just because the heroine doesn't give him a good look? I suspect that this director has a serious face. If you want to give life and vitality to a character, you don't need to keep adding adjectives to him. Instead, you should use specific plots and events to shape the character so that it is convincing. For example, Xiao Ming went out with his friends all day long and was covered in mud before he was willing to go home. Then I tell you that Xiao Ming is a calm and gentle boy. Do you believe me? Don't believe it? In fact, everyone knows that Xiao Ming is away from home all day long, just playing wildly outside. He is such a bad kid! Put it this way, do you understand? Character creation is not a pile of words. Everyone has a strong balance in their heart, and it is not enough to just say words casually. If you want to know what a person is like, you should look at what he does and how he does it. In the same way, the portrayal of the heroine is also unsatisfactory. I think the author may want to create an OL who is self-reliant, independent, shrewd, quick-witted, not afraid of difficulties, and passionate about career. However, I only saw a willful and impulsive little woman. The same can be seen from some of her words and deeds. For example, regarding a detail in a certain chapter, the director sent her copy back. She argued hard and felt that the director was targeting her. From this plot point of view, I think... The author may be relatively young, so this plot setting is not very reasonable. To put it simply, as a subordinate, she simply didn't want to work when she talked back to her immediate boss like this. The heroine is a veteran who has been working for several years. I don't believe that a veteran in the workplace has never suffered a loss or had her shoes worn. In fact, Director Qin's behavior (regardless of whether this behavior is in line with the personality of Iceberg Man) is not very aboveboard, but it is not a big move. The first thing a new official does when he takes office is that as a shrewd OL, shouldn't the heroine not change her face even when the mountain collapses? Shouldn't we solve this challenge with all our strength? Why did she talk back to the director... Ah, in short, what I mean is that the heroine's character does not quite fit the adjective given by the author. ★Suggestion 2: Pay attention to character creation, do not create plot for the sake of plot, but also consider the impact of plot on character creation. In terms of plot, I think there are some things that are not very reasonable. For example, there is no foreshadowing for the rapidly developing relationship between the male and female protagonists... Why on earth does the male protagonist have a crush on the female protagonist... It is completely unclear! So the series of ambiguities they had later were really unexpected... I hope the author can pay attention to this issue... ★Suggestion 3: Pay attention to the rationality and logic of the plot. Finally, let's talk about the use of words. I found that in a certain chapter, when the director and the heroine were dancing, there was a word that surprised me - "Someone was too divorced tonight" and "That kind of divorced behavior was also stopped that night." At first I thought it was the author who was about to type incorrectly, but unexpectedly two places appeared in succession, which made me a little confused. Author Junqaq Do you know, divorce means divorce... So don't use it like this, okay? ★Suggestion 4: Pay attention to the use of words. In fact, there are still many problems... I think the author still needs to accumulate more. I feel that the whole article is relatively boring. I think the plot often relies on three-dimensional experience. Well, no matter what, this article is the author's first article, so there is still a lot of room for improvement! Well 030 I still have the same harsh words. I may have a bad mouth, but my starting point is definitely not bad. So if I accidentally offended you, I hope the author can forgive me! Finally, I wish the author good luck in writing the article! ——By Shicheng Studio. Commentator: Uncle. ——Serve you wholeheartedly=w=
Spread the flowers, hehe, come and take a look, the author, please give it a try! Okay, let's take it first, la la la
I guess it's on the ground floor of her house, haha
Ah, Song Lei has something to do with her sister's death, right?
Oops, getting sick and being hospitalized is always a necessary plot for the development of adultery, haha