The Entertainment Age [System]

At that time, a dragon Aotian was carved on the desk -(=-=)...

You are talking very seriously. I'm just looking around.

Good. The second part is even better written.

I'm still happy to see you╭(╯ε╰)╮

Just asking, where is the update? Where is the update? QAQ I accidentally searched for this article and came to read it and found it! Over! Knot! What about great love?

Don't tell me the system is CP! This meme has been overused (; 1_1)

System Master is so annoying and annoying! Want to torture him!

System Master is so annoying and annoying! Want to torture him!

"(System)Entertainment Era" Author: Idiot Eat Spicy [Mascot Commentary] Comments on the author of "(System) Entertainment Era": Few people eat spicy food ... Please forgive me for being lazy qaq, I just put off the order for so long. So without further ado, here is the review. Judging from the first chapter, my writing style should be considered good, but I feel inexplicably uncomfortable. It is said that the first chapter is the most important when reading an article. Although it did not give me any bad impression, I feel that when I comment on this article, it will be difficult for me to write. Dear, the beginning of this article makes me feel a bit pretentious and rushed, and when I read the first chapter, I felt that the progress in all aspects was very fast, and the language and other aspects were very rushed. The language is fast, the transitions are fast, and all kinds of fast. When I read it, I felt that I had to read it at a fast speaking speed = = I always felt that the first chapter of the book was written in a hurry. So the first impression the article gave me was not particularly good... There aren't many sentences that make me feel uncomfortable, but the one I find most awkward is this one: [He wanted to move and run towards his mother, but somehow it seemed as if someone had cast a restraining spell on him. The ground beneath his feet seemed to have a pair of hands, holding him back. He was about to suffocate. Especially the last two sentences, "Hold yourself, he is about to suffocate." I feel that it is very inconsistent. The word "give" makes me feel redundant, and the following "suffocation" does not match well. Therefore, it is recommended that the author should not be anxious when writing the article. After writing, he must go back and read the sentences again to see if they are smooth before pressing publish. In addition, I actually don't like that the dialogue between the system and the protagonist in the system text is all conducted with "". Because originally there would be a lot of "" dialogues in the novel, but now there is an additional system. Then the whole article is almost full of ""-like dialogue, which makes me feel very uncomfortable. It is recommended that you write the system words in [ ] or other ways to look better. From the article, it seems that I am a novice? The article gave me the feeling that I am a newbie in writing and don't know how to use words, how to use sentences, and how to modify the paragraphs of the article. Therefore, I suggest you read more good articles and gain some writing experience. There are many good-looking articles on the entertainment industry, and many of them focus on the subject, so you can read other well-written articles and modify the description techniques of your own articles. Accumulate more words, don't be like me and don't run out of words to rewrite as you write. There is also the father who appears inexplicably in the article = = Can you dance every minute? Although I have been emphasizing on making the protagonist a successful Chinese person... But orz. I'm sorry that I didn't see any big changes. To say it was a change would be better to say that the author's writing was not very good. The process of transformation was unclear and inexplicable. Then there is the aspect of character creation. I have to say that I failed quite a bit in shaping the characters. As for the main character... I'm sorry, I don't have much of a liking for him. When a person is arrogant to the extreme, it is not arrogance, but self-righteousness. The author repeatedly emphasizes that the protagonist is a scumbag, but I have to remind the author that when the number of emphasis is too much, things often fail to meet your requirements, but will turn out to be the opposite. I saw the author also said in the comment below that the protagonist you set at the beginning is not very likable, and even others are much more likable than the protagonist. However, if Qin always has such an idea, then Qin's protagonist may never be liked by us readers (of course, for most) (it seems a bit exaggerated, but almost). Authors must learn to be flexible. If most readers say they don't like the protagonist, then the author must reflect on himself. Although the article is written by myself, it is not only for me to read, but also for many other readers. If you blindly write according to your original settings, it will be difficult to make progress in an article. For example, when you write an essay, you need to outline it and then go back to writing. But sometimes you will find that there are some special circumstances during the writing process, so you have to modify the outline and then write again. The same goes for novels. If you don't accept other people's opinions (it doesn't mean you don't accept them, it just means you accept them and don't change them) to revise your own writing, then it will be even more difficult to make your writing better. As for the other characters, I'm sorry that I didn't pay special attention to them. Just like why Fang Hua is so inexplicably attracted to the protagonist so quickly, I almost never look at the supporting characters at the first glance. Because I really need to improve on the description. I hope you can feel something after reading this review and work harder on the next article. I'm sorry that I won't read the v-chapter part. Firstly, I can't read it, and secondly, I really don't have many JJ coins. So please don't mind qaq, the author. Some suggestions for you: ①Please write the copy well. Copywriting is just a facade. If you don't write good copy, it is estimated that there will be fewer readers. Qiqin's copywriting is too messy and the colors are too colorful. ②Please revise the sentences where you don't understand the language and the inappropriate wording. ③ Please slow down your speed and don't make everything happen so fast. Especially emotionally. ④Write more content about the entertainment industry. For example, if you have a breakthrough in acting, have made progress in singing, etc., Write more about adventures or setbacks. Because I didn't see anything substantial in your article. Inexplicably, it feels like a running account and a piece of writing. ⑤Reshape important characters. For example, the protagonist and the system. The character of the protagonist is really unlikable, and being too conceited will turn things upside down. The character of the system... I feel like the author has given it a lot of design. Sometimes cold, sometimes queen, sometimes... = = ... Well, there are others that I can't remember, so I'll just write them here. Originally I was not venomous, but the author asked me to be venomous and this article really touched my point, forcing me to be venomous. If you really want to find a text for reference, you can read Rebirth: Circle. This article is one of the articles I have read on the entertainment industry that I have to praise. This article can only be used as a reference. It is also good to bring you some inspiration. Dear, I need to work hard on all aspects of this article. I need to practice my writing skills more. This way your writing will definitely improve. Finally, I wish my articles will get better and better, and I hope my comments can be helpful to you. The above is from the review of Pangci Panglow Changping Shop/Mascot~ This review is purely personal opinion, please forgive me if there is any inappropriateness~

I particularly dislike Guan Yun, the protagonist's manager. I really want the protagonist to kick him away quickly.