The Bandits’ Lair on Vegetable Mountain

The very name Vegetable Mountain makes everyone tremble in fear [not really], and all the locals shake with dread [not really]. Why? Because on the distant Vegetable Mountain lives a gang of bandits, each one unbelievably cruel [and idiotic]. They rob, kill, and pillage. [First-in-command: Damn it! We're robbing the rich to help the poor!] They commit every evil imaginable. [Second-in-command: Damn it! We help little old ladies cross the street every day!] Anyway, this is a ridiculous tale about a bandit family living together in harmony in their den on the great Vegetable Mountain. ╮(╯▽╰)╭