500-word limit
Chapter One: The Beginning of a Tragedy
"You think Seiichi Yukimura is dating you because he likes you?"
"Don't make me laugh. He's in love with me. You're just a keyboard stand-in."
"Ha ha ha! Now your family has disowned you! Even your brother won't help you anymore, ha ha!"
As those words and footsteps rang in my ears, all I could think was: What kind of messed-up world is this? Damn it, how many times have I transmigrated now? After finally having a peaceful life for years, how did I end up transmigrating again?!
Uh, but what was she saying? Yukimura Seiichi? That guy from The Prince of Tennis? Or is he a prince? Whatever, who cares! The Son of God? Who gave birth to him? Do I know them? Ahem, I'm getting off track. Back to the point. With no memories, I learned the following:
First: This is the world of The Prince of Tennis.
Second: The previous owner of this body was disowned.
Third, and most importantly: After I'm discharged, I have nowhere to go. I thought I could go find Father God and the others, and that is where this tragic story begins. Nooo! Are the gods not allowed to live in peace?! Sob...
In a spacious hospital room, a black-haired boy radiated ???. "Isn't anyone going to care about me?" the black-haired boy thought.
… This style of writing
Wow, that looks a lot better here, but what about all those commas? . . . ==
I think the idea of the novel is actually good, we just need to change the aspects that are almost entirely left to our imagination. . . . For example, write more names and explanations before and after conversations, and make them longer. . . . It's too simple and a bit awkward
. . . . I would like to ask if [his husband] here refers to himself, but didn't it say that he was his son +_+ or that his son also has a husband. . . .
. . . . Sorry but I don't get it at all. Did he go to Qingxue to find his son or a relative and then the demon he called was his husband? . . . ?
0 0 Not exactly the same as before. Even the introduction, first chapter and second chapter are exactly the same which is a bit depressing. . . .
I really want to find out how to fix the punctuation errors?
The Hashido sack seems to be worn by the Gokudera Sun people.
Well, judging from the appearance, Yukimura and Kurom are very fond of each other.
How can people break people's hearts if the teacher dies? Hahaha~ (Just smile at this time)