Sir, Would You Like a Food Consultation?

Hotline operator: Sir, this is 315, not a cooking advice hotline. Tech genius: QAQ, to make sweet and sour ribs, do I just throw the ribs in and pour in sugar? Hotline operator: ...With your skills, sweet and sour ribs are out of your reach. Don't make them. You'll end up in the hospital. Tech genius: QAQ, but I'm craving them! Hotline operator: ...I'll buy some after work tonight. Tech genius: O(∩_∩)O Okay! The blurb is a mess. Couple: A brilliant cook, the married-and-scheming 315 hotline operator as the pursuer, and a kitchen-wrecking computer whiz and cop as the pursued. In short: A scheming, devoted husband pursuer X a goofy foodie pursued Inspired by that eight-page flame war? Doxxing? Food? Blind date? thread on BS. A short story. Thanks to Huo for the cover ╭(╯3╰)╮ Theme: