[Harry Potter] Life Is Death

No follow-up? ? ? The short story is distressing

After briefly reading Qiu Su's article, I had to give it 32 likes. The plot is smooth, and the Western tone and tone make this HP article more immersive. He still remembered Lord Tom Riddle saying in his ear, "Severus, your body will die at this moment, and I will give you a new life." This sentence has 32 likes again. Beautiful language will add a lot of color to the article. Often one sentence will have the finishing touch, and this sentence is undoubtedly the same. The miss of two people is often carried out in a relatively sad and quiet atmosphere, but this article goes in the opposite direction, exaggerating the entanglement of several people in a bloody or terrifying atmosphere in a way that ordinary people would not think of. The miss of two people is told one by one, and in just a few thousand words, we can feel their entanglement. In the end, the prime is determined using a relatively open statement. "Thinking of this possibility, Snape could no longer control himself. He felt his whole body begin to tremble involuntarily, and a roar of fear and pain like a beast was coming from his throat. He looked up at the sky and stretched out his arms helplessly to God - " This kind of tail-cutting gives people a kind of expectation and infinite reverie about the ending. A man who was forced to be summoned by the devil stretched out his hands to God. One represents darkness and the other represents light. The sharp contrast makes the ending of this article more dramatic and distinct. Give the author 32 likes. Qiu Su may want to create a scary atmosphere to make this HP article more real and palpable, but excessive realism will distort it. At least this article does not feel scary to me. On the contrary, it makes me laugh and cry. Because every word is used in a practical way, but people cannot imagine the picture. In short, it lacks a sense of picture. It is recommended that the author put more effort into the use of phrases. The phrasing of the question did not actually go together, such as: "What would you like me to do for you, sir?" Snape bowed diplomatically. Bowing cannot be said to be tactful. Qiu Su could consider changing tact to respect. There is another point that Qiu Su must pay special attention to. There are very few psychological descriptions in the whole article. Qiu Su may want to highlight the atmosphere through the description of the external environment, but the description of the external environment is often just the finishing touch. What really makes readers feel immersed is the psychological description. Qiu Su might as well add some more descriptions in the text, I believe the effect will be more significant. Finally, I wish Qiu Su's literary conference will get better and better. O(∩_∩)O haha~ [Yuanfang, what do you think_Long Commentary Wenpu: Xiaojiu]

The opening chapter is quite attractive, with a Westernized language style. It would be better if the author created a Chinese zombie.