The winter of the twenty-eighth year of Qianyuan was especially cold, so cold it seemed even memories would freeze. I stood outside the execution grounds, watching the heads of my closest kin tumble through the falling snow, leaving crimson trails across the ground. Fear and despair emptied my mind. I wanted to remember nothing. And so, everything I remembered of the Xie family condensed into the final, unwilling look in my mother's eyes. It was like a seed planted in my heart, waiting to be watered by hatred and bloom into a poisonous flower.
When someone wants to pin a crime on you, no excuse is needed. All 172 members of the Xie family were imprisoned and executed for treason. I was the only one left alive, a helpless orphan. Xiang Hua, head of the Imperial Censorate, personally carried out the Emperor's order to take me from prison and secretly settle me in the palace laundry bureau. I couldn't understand why the Emperor, having set out to destroy the Xie family, had spared my life. Though I was only six that year, perhaps Heaven had arranged for me to survive this calamity so I could punish this world, which had already become twisted.
Years later, when I stood at the pinnacle of this dynasty with blood on my hands, my heart was as desolate as it had been on the day the Xie family met its end. Fate is a circle you cannot escape. You struggle with all your might, yet it still toys with you in the palm of its hand. I once wanted so badly to flee this deep palace, which devours all humanity, but some ties could never be severed or left behind.
In the first half of my life, I was the daughter of a condemned official, living here as a servant with a blood feud in my heart. In the second half, I was the demon empress who brought a kingdom to ruin, stirring up trouble here with nothing but loneliness in my heart. The towering red walls were like my obsession: they refused to leave others alone, and tormented me without end. If only I had told him, I wish for one heart, and to stay together until our hair turns white.
-- Xie Zhiyan
Alas, I hope the following will be gentle...