Song of Evil (Originally Titled [Twins]: A Bond of Fate)

I've finished watching them all. It's very interesting! I'm waiting for updates. I can't watch them until I'm fattened up.

I read this article in one go. The plot is actually very exciting. But why does the popularity and plot not match? After thinking about it, it's still a matter of rhythm. The plot unfolds too quickly, placing a lot of memory burden on the reader If you don't follow it every day or read it in one sitting, you may forget what you said in two days. In other words, it feels like reading an outline, which is not vivid enough. Such a huge amount of plot can be written twice as much. It may be that the author is afraid that readers will criticize it as watery and slow. Several lines are running at the same time, and it is like this at the beginning, which will make people feel like they are in a fog. But to be honest, it is actually very difficult to make major revisions, so I suggest the author finish writing it first. If you want to repair it, it is recommended to cut off part of the branch line

Phew~ A pack of napkins~ Oh dear, write well~ Come on This one is quite funny~

QAQ, 90 is so awesome~

QAQ, I thought the male protagonist kissed someone. . . Orz As a result, the doll died

Sprinkle flowers~~~Happy New Year~

Ahhhh!!!!!!! Ryan is so handsome!!!!!! I'm in love with him!!!!!!! How swollen!!!!!!!!

Before commenting, I'd like to apologize to you. Originally, Miss Six took the order, but because Miss Six has been too busy recently, I volunteered to take the order. I hope you don't mind (A Sheng, you said you didn't mind, so I'm here~) [Intersection point of two parallel lines] At the beginning of the story, it is written that one of the protagonists, Han Youyan, was locked in the toilet and was extremely weak, waiting for others to rescue him. Then there was a huge explosion, and the police station near the school was bombed. Han Youyan, who was trapped in the toilet, sensed the danger and shouted for help. The mysterious man who heard Youyan calling for help rescued Youyan, but was extremely shocked when he saw her. "Jiuling, why are you here?" The first chapter of the story sets up suspense for the relationship between Youyan and Jiuling. One is Jiuling, a mechanical killing tool that kills people, and the other is a cowardly and timid ordinary college girl hiding in a dark corner-Han Youyan. The two look exactly the same, but their personalities are very different. However, the fetters of fate are like an invisible rope that pulls the two people to each other. They are obviously two parallel lines with their own trajectories, but the magnetic field of fate changes their life trajectories. From then on, the two parallel lines that are always parallel and cannot intersect have an intersection of fate. The mysterious man, Ruian, betrayed the organization and his most trusted companion, Jiu Ling, but it was his behavior that led to the intersection of Jiu Ling and Youyan's fate. Ruian found Youyan who looked exactly like Jiuling, so he took her into the mountains and trained her to play the role of Jiuling. On the other hand, Jiu Ling did not die in the explosion, and by mistake, with the help of Han Xidi, she acted as Han Youyan, the adopted daughter of Han Jianye, the richest man in Lx. Lost memory The police believed that the explosion at the police station behind the school was related to a terrorist organization, and Han Youyan also disappeared after the explosion. At this time, a man named Jason approached Han Jianye's daughter, Han Xiyi, with a photo that looked exactly like Han Youyan, and asked her for information about Han Youyan. His companion Roy disappeared at the same time as the girl in the photo, so he suspected that the disappearance of his companion was related to the girl, and even suspected that the girl was related to a terrorist organization. During the conversation with Jason, Han Xibi remembered that Han Youyan also had a twin sister - Han Moyan, so the incident was directed at Han Youyan's twin sister, and Jason investigated Han Moyan's information. In the process, the relationship between Han's father and Han Youyan, as well as Jiuling and Youyan, was greatly and skillfully revealed. It turned out that Han's father had a woman named Bai whom he loved deeply. They gave birth to twins before they were married, one named Han Youyan and the other named Han Moyan. However, after the twin girls were born, the temperament of the woman named Bai changed drastically. Soon after, the two agreed to divorce, with Han Youyan following his father and Han Moyan following his mother. Later, he married a woman named Shi and had Han Xizhen. Youyan fell seriously ill after Han's father married another woman. He lost his previous memories and forgot that he was Han Jianye's biological daughter and that he had a twin sister. After Jason came to the door, Han's father investigated the matter of the woman named Bai. It turned out that the woman surnamed Bai accidentally lost her daughter Han Moyan shortly after divorcing him, and died soon after. It can be seen from this that Jiu Ling is Han Youyan's twin sister - Mo Yan. As for why Mo Yan became a murder tool later, we have to talk about one of the main threads of the whole story - organization. The mysterious organization is an evil and black-hearted organization. The organization trains and cultivates killers. It trains and controls the minds of the selected targets from childhood, and the betrayers have to rush to the road of death. Mo Yan was snatched away by the organization from an early age and used as a training target. Enduring hardships that are unimaginable compared to those of his peers, he learned to survive in a harsh environment. He had no childhood, no textbooks, no relatives and no teachers to teach him good and evil. It was under this condition that you had to fight for everything with your own hands, and you would not be able to survive if you didn't work hard and become stronger. Mo Yan became the most loyal killing tool of the organization-Nine Zero. Main characters 1. Ninety: A powerful killing tool of an evil organization. He is ruthless and ruthless in his work. He has 100% combat effectiveness. He knows nothing about the outside world. He loves to eat ice cream. He hides his pure, innocent and kind personality? Betrayed by his companion Ruian, and with the help of Han Xizhen (actually coercing that person), he started an identity swap? Han Youyan's sister has some mysterious power? Now that he has returned to the organization, he is going to hunt down the traitor Ryan? 2. Han Youyan: A gloomy girl who was bullied in school, cowardly and has low self-esteem, and has a secret crush. Han Jianye's adopted daughter, her actual identity is her biological daughter? Forced by Ruian to train him into a tool like Ninety, his childhood memories have been restored, and he knows that he has a biological sister. How can his sister become extremely powerful? The power in his body has been partially awakened, and there is a cat ghost and a little bear. 3. Ruian: Jiu Ling's most trusted companion through life and death. He longed for freedom and wanted to leave the organization, so he killed Jiu Ling? After saving Han Youyan who was imprisoned in the toilet, he came up with the idea of ​​letting her pretend to be Han Youyan? During the process, she developed an inexplicable affection for Han Youyan, so she saved Han Youyan again in a crisis? 4. Han Xipei: The daughter of Han Jianye, the richest man in LX, and the half-sister of Ninety and Youyan (who she doesn't know), she was thrown into a ravine by her father when she was 11 years old, so she is simple, perseverant, smart and tenacious? A genius girl, who has always looked down on her father's adopted daughter Han Youyan, is now being overtaken by Jiu Ling? Help Jiu Ling assume Han Youyan's identity, and develop dependence and trust in his relationship with Jiu Ling? His uncle was assassinated because of a mysterious literary job, and his relationship with Jiu-0 broke down. He was forced to be brave and become more responsible? 5. Zhang San: The young boy who played the piano whom Jiu Ling admired, and his classmate Youyan, seemed ordinary, but was he actually hiding his strength? Known skills - Hypnosis. Now that Han Xizhen has learned the secret of the land under hypnosis, is he trying to find a way to rescue Han Youyan and others? [Cross entrance of the maze] Mysterious organizations all have clues throughout the text. Ryan's betrayal at the beginning was the reason why he couldn't stand being controlled by the organization day after day and lost his freedom. Han Xidi's uncle was killed because of land and accounts, which implicated the organization's agenda - the holy land where drugs were bred, and Feng Yan (it is said that he is not the big boss) who is inextricably linked to the organization. This article is driven by the kidnapping of Han Xiba, and the plot reaches its climax with the death of his uncle due to a mysterious document: After discovering that the death of Han Xibao's uncle was related to the organization, Jiuqi regained the mysterious document and returned to the organization after the relationship with Xiba broke down. Embark on the road to hunt down Ryan. At the same time, Youyan regains his memory and awakens, and is bound to find his sister, Jiuling. This is also destined to be a fateful bond. Perhaps it can also be said that the fate of the two was connected from the beginning. Suggestion In the first volume, many mysteries are set up, and the writing style freely shows us the intricate relationships between the characters and makes us aware of the evil organization. In the second volume, much more fantasy elements are added. There is some kind of mysterious power within the twins. The mysterious cat that appears in the first volume also claims its owner in the second volume. Youyan and Ruian's group are now being attacked by butterfly monsters... The writing style is very good, and he is very good at setting up suspense. Some chapters may seem redundant, but they are closely related to the plot. However, there may be some problems as follows: The full text has a large frame and many names of people and places, which can easily create a confusing perspective. Coupled with too much foreshadowing, it may sometimes feel confusing to everyone. In fact, I think some less important character plots can be deleted. The woman named Qin can be finished in the first volume~ There are still 27 chapters. If you want to write the heroine's character, you can write the bus, chopsticks, eating ice cream, dancing, and the text in one chapter, written from the perspective of the female protagonist. If clues are inserted between character chapters, it will easily cause confusion for readers. (After all, the clues are divided into various chapters, so it is not easy to find, and there are many mysteries.) The fantasy elements in the second volume feel a bit abrupt, because the text contains very trivial things in life, such as cool running, Korean dramas, etc., So it feels strange to add fantasy again. It's both realistic and unrealistic. How about removing those little girls' complaints? I think the background of this article is best set in a future or a parallel space. The subject matter of this article seems to be a bit unpopular. It is best to revise the original copy and title. In fact, I think it is very suitable for writing suspense and apocalyptic articles. However, if the plot is flowing, it is best to fill in some material-emotional drama, otherwise readers will easily feel that it is very stiff. The topic is OK. As for the copywriting, we can discuss it again~ The above suggestions are only personal opinions and are for reference only. If there is anything I didn't say well, please forgive me (TAT I'm too verbose) It can be seen that Dada writes very recognisably, and the foreshadowing is very clever. Moreover, I heard that this article was originally supposed to be 40 or 50,000 words long. It is not easy to write such a large structure, so I admire Dada very much and hope that Dada will continue to work hard! Bow Ink-stained Qiancheng Fuyushi is here~

Supplementary points ~ By the way, I can't find you on Sina Weibo, Baiguiye, right?

Let me ask you a big question, why is it called "[Fate] Rebirth"? When I first saw this title, I thought it was a [fate] fan, a twin. . . Orz