[Real Madrid: 914] Electric Phantom

Guti: He once scored a hat trick at San Siro and haunted Berlusconi's dreams. Before and after retirement, he was La Liga's number-one source of headlines.

Inzaghi: He once topped the European competition scoring charts, took on four generations of Real Madrid, and broke the hearts of countless beauties and assistant referees. He will probably remain the most dedicated bachelor in football forever.

They met.

Rated: M

9: Inzaghi, the fox in the box, plays for AC Milan.

14: Guti, the Golden Wolf of the Bernabeu, plays for Real Madrid.

It was Guti's birthday a few days ago, and I suddenly realized the old heartthrob is 37 now, so I started this story to mark the occasion.

I loved the brilliance of your youth, but I love the way you look now, like a strange little goat.

Written on a whim, with no promises about updates. I'll write slowly and sporadically, whenever I feel like it. That's that.