Can't Let Go, Can't Go Back

My childhood feels like a dream. Now that I've woken up, I don't know if the boys and girls from that dream ever appeared in my life. A lot of people say that my feelings for A Wen are just about wanting what I can't have, but in the end, A Wen is still the one I want, whether he was the boy he used to be or the man he is now. I've always known A Wen liked me. We never got together, but was I the coward, or was he?