[NANA] The Fool's Kingdom

It's so rare. It's rare for a fan to write well, especially for a niche like Nana. The narrative is very good and the story is complete. Moreover, Shigure and the characters in the original work are also very distinct. Even Shigure is like a character who came out of Nana. He has a bit of Yazawa Ai's characteristics, which is very powerful.

IKKi is such a selfish person.

I was still touched before, Shinichi, why are you suddenly such a good person!!!! As a result, there is a direct reversal here... Bastard Shinichi, show your sincerity!

Shigure did a great job! Although it still hurts a little... But everyone knows it's not Shigure's fault this time... It's just too much...

I once tried it for a little bit and then gave up. This time I didn't read any pages!! It's two different styles from exclusive pampering, which is okay.

Dear AnneSherry Hello. Both the cover and the title are commendable, but the copywriting is a little too literary and tragic. However, based on the tone of NANA's comic itself, I think it would be too harsh to classify it as something worthy of criticism (meaning, it's not a big deal if you don't want to change the problem). When I opened the first chapter... I had a feeling that it was difficult to start writing. What should I say? I'm not saying that your writing is not good (the wording is both elegant and careful), nor is it so heavy that I can't bear it, but I just feel like I want to turn off the interface when I look at it. I seem to vaguely understand the feeling you want to convey, but the excessive description of personal emotions in the first chapter inevitably feels like a pointless moan that misses the point. From the first sentence, I judged that Shigure had some kind of mental disorder, the kind that was not good at words, = =But she was so bold and bold that she could stand on the bridge and sing, which was a bit different from my understanding. Maybe the idea of ​​singing to attract the male protagonist's attention is a bit old, and I couldn't get interested in it for the time being. The psychological description of Shinichi in the second chapter failed to capture the contradictory parts of him being rebellious, dangerous, arrogant and fragile. He was more like an ordinary middle school boy (even a little self-righteous). I still don't know how old your character Shinichi is, but he's obviously not the one I'm familiar with in the NANA plot. Yes, I'd say it's a bit OOC. The next few plots are as bland as a running account. You put too much energy into unnecessary descriptions, but instead the parts that interest the reader are brushed aside. In one chapter of your chapter, I skimmed over the vast majority of it, and there are very few parts that are plot-driven, meaningful, and reflect the character's personality and charm. You don't actually need to describe the heroine's pain in such a specific and profound way (especially when the plot of her past misfortune is not too new...), Just mention it occasionally in a few words, and leave this job to the reader. I read carefully what your author had to say and understood your intention, but to be honest = = I didn't see it at all. Why don't you think more about laying out some foreshadowing instead of outright psychological activities of the woman and some simple dialogues? I can feel your progress since Chapter 6, at least in terms of grasp. Unfortunately, the continuity of the plot is still very lacking. Well, it's the kind of meaning that even if you miss a chapter, it's not a pity that you can't arouse curiosity. By the way, it's not a pity to delete the lyrics (you really took up a lot of space)... I don't know how many readers will really think about reading the lyrics. If so, then they really are in love. When most people read novels, they focus on the plot and the happiness of the distressed characters. These dispensable embellishments can be kept as little as possible (perhaps you can refer to "The Era of Korean Entertainment Superstars", which only mentions the lyrics in a few sentences). Don't just analyze the character's psychology every now and then! Looks tired! And boring! If there is no sense of mystery at all, it will be difficult to arouse the desire to read. The character restoration of Nana and others is acceptable. (To put it harshly... The one you did the worst at restoring the character of the original character was the protagonist Shinichi) My advice to you is: try to use simple language, add some climaxes and climaxes (thereby improving readability), and maintain overall coherence. Your writing is good, but be careful not to get out of hand - the scenes and action storyboards are too specific, and it is easy for people to ignore the protagonist and plot advancement, and fail to arouse resonance. Thanks. No loneliness

So in the end, it was Ikki's request to Shinichi, right? Both Shinichi and Shigure feel that they have matured a lot... The two of them are becoming more and more in tune with each other... It feels so happy QAQ

I feel like both of them have grown up (mature), it's a beautiful atmosphere, cheers 0u0

Another sad miss... Alas, Shigure must not miss Shinichi this time no matter what!

Shinichi you! It actually broke out! The relationship between ikki and Shigure is getting more and more mysterious...