When Kinship Fails, Filial Love Arises

I'm halfway through it, and I want to say a few words. I think I quite agree with the lack of kindness in childbirth, because childbirth is a matter of responsibility. Giving birth to and raising children is the responsibility of parents to their children, and supporting the elderly is the responsibility of children to their parents, but the feelings during the process of childbirth and childbirth are what determine each other's attitudes. In other words, unequal treatment results in a one-sided society. Nowadays, most of the children have only one child, and the parents have given their affection. As a result, the child attributes affection to responsibilities. Later, the children really only fulfill their responsibilities, and there are empty nesters who need affection. Therefore, society emphasizes gratitude and upgrades the grace of childbirth. But in fact, the moral height required by society is not suitable for different groups of people. This is a group intelligence. The problems of the elderly are more prominent than the problems of children. We only ask for the last and not the first, but the problems of children are equally important. Who knows how to raise children when you close the door, which will lead to the neglect of children. It is unreasonable to require such a high level of morality from everyone. For those who only fulfilled their responsibilities when raising children, they cannot require feelings of gratitude when they are old, because there is no kindness in the first place. Parents who have not even fulfilled their responsibilities of childbirth, let alone the responsibility of raising their children, will not get any rewards without corresponding efforts. However, the law is more harsh on these children. When they were young, no one cared about them and they would not sue their parents. When they grow up, the law recognizes them, their moral sense recognizes, and they have the responsibility of raising parents, but there are still gossips. There are a lot of people in society who demand emotional devotion to their parents. It really hurts to stand up and talk! But in the final analysis, for the parents who give affection, and the children who finally support the elderly are not asked to be grateful, but for the morally equivalent emotional contribution. So grace does not exist in procreation and sustenance.

Yes, I have always felt that parents raise their children when they are young, and children raise their parents when they are old. The two behaviors are actually an equal exchange.

A very unique theory. It seems that a vague membrane has been broken. The filial piety promoted by the world is a shackle. Those who are shackled think it is right, so they stand on the highest moral point and put it on everyone around them. Those who are not shackled are unfilial and have committed a heinous crime. This theory has been passed down from generation to generation. If a husband and a mother treat their children well because they want their children to be filial in the future, how is this different from an exchange of interests? Love and giving from the heart without any purpose is the true meaning of love. I am nice to you because I want to be nice to you, not because you ask me to be nice to you. The required love is actually discounted from the beginning.

That's so good. I've always felt that if given a choice, many people might not want to come to this world at all. I also feel that many parents are simply not prepared to become parents when they become parents or are simply not suitable to be parents.

If kindness is beyond responsibility, then what kind of kindness is it? When you reach adulthood at the age of eighteen, you can say that every bite of food a child eats from his parents after the age of eighteen is a kindness; living in a house without paying rent is a kindness; parents paying college tuition and living expenses is certainly a kindness; buying a house and giving a down payment to a child is also a kindness. I don't count the last item. If I am 20 years old, it will be considered the average age for graduation (undergraduate and master's degree in vocational secondary school, junior college, and master's degree). Then in the past two years, my food will be counted as 1,000 yuan a month, which is 24,000 yuan; The total amount is forty or fifty thousand, - even if you get these benefits, it's not because your parents are willing... In fact, the two words "kindness and kindness" are connected. To say parents are kind actually means to talk about parental affection, and whether parents have affection for their children cannot be measured by money. But it was only when the author mentioned the law that I thought of this calculation. I saw many seriously ill children at Station B. Their parents never gave up, no matter how much they were in debt, they knelt down to pray and cared for them day and night. So, this is what they want, no favor. But the feelings between people in the middle cannot be summed up by two words: ungrateful or gracious. Before you know the facts, please don't say that old people who raise multiple children only to freeze to death, starve to death, etc. Deserve it. Because this becomes the theory of victim guilt. I hope that the young will be taken care of and the old will be supported. This does not mean that filial kindness or unfilial kindness can be achieved. Wherever human beings go in the end, it is their own choice, whether to be alienated or intimate, cold or passionate. When the parent-child relationship turns toward complaining, it's not a good thing for anyone.

As a person who is both a mother and a daughter, I read this passage. I don't care whether I am kind or not to my parents, I will think more about their kindness, because that is the expression of love they can try their best to give; to my daughter, whether she loves her or not, I will try to give her my love. Because I hope that my love can give her a lot of warmth in the days when she will be tempered in society. No matter parents or children, they are all groping their way through life in this world. Don't look for perfect parents and children, or even perfect yourself, because the world is just so imperfect. Warm each other with love, complain, fear and quarrel will eventually be buried in the mountains and rivers of love.

I also want to be my own king. Maybe I'm born rebellious. I long for freedom. It's a pity that I'm in my 20s, I can't carry it with my shoulders, I can't carry it with my hands, I don't have the energy to support myself, I can only rely on my parents. While I enjoyed the material wealth provided by my parents, I also hated them for being so controlling. In the final analysis, the economic base determines the superstructure. I desperately wanted to escape from my original family, but I always felt that I was born cold. After reading this article, I suddenly realized that this is not my own character flaw.

I always thought love was mutual. The same is true between parents and children. When reading "Twenty-Four Filial Piety", I always read it as a thriller. I used to think that I was born cold and cold, but when I grew up, I realized that I was just thinking.

A very thoughtful author, a very powerful essay. I happened to look through the gold list and came across "No Consideration of Concubines". I admired the writing and clicked on the author's column. I seemed to have entered a new world. I was very happy to encounter the author's articles, but also felt regretful that we met too late. Fortunately, we met, so good! I agree with the author's point of view! I was born in an ivory tower and grew up in an ivory tower. However, the patriarchal concepts and behaviors around me, especially the elders in my family, made me deeply feel the malice from this society and from feudalism. One day, while chatting about the past, she mentioned that when she was born, her grandma saw that it was a baby girl, so she wanted to smother her in the quilt. She then wanted to conceive another grandson (only two could be born), but her mother stopped her. As a result, the already poor relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law became even more rigid. Hearing this past incident, I only felt cold and warm. What is cold is that the elders are not kind, what is warm is that the parents do not give up. Are people who favor boys over girls crazy? ! I have an aunt who gave birth to a daughter in her first pregnancy and gave it away. After that, she had several pregnancies and had abortions (she had abortions when she knew it was a girl after taking a picture), until she finally gave birth to the first male in the family. When I know these past events, I sneer in my heart. This is because I have done too many evil things, and God wants to cut off the roots. Now that I have survived on the basis of several lives, it is quite interesting to think about what the future will bring. The cousin who was sent out was eventually brought back, but she had already remembered what happened when she came back. Can she fit into that patriarchal family? Is it possible to have a happy family life? --I have no idea. But I think the scar on her heart is like a thorn flower that never fades, pricking her and affecting her life. Everyone in the world has seen a lot of darkness outside the ivory tower in advance. I am grateful to my parents for their unfailing kindness and love, and I also tell myself in my heart that I must repay them well. No one asked for this, and my parents even told my sister and me early that we would not need to provide them with pension insurance in the future. They bought themselves pension insurance. I think they may have the old idea that sons can take care of themselves in old age, while daughters cannot. Part of the reason is that they are worried that we will be under too much pressure to support our family in the future. But if I ask my heart, I want to accompany them, from black hair to white hair. Am I filial? No. This is based on the fact that my parents love me very much and have given me a lot of love. People exchange hearts with each other. I cannot repay evil with kindness. Otherwise, how can I repay kindness? ! Countless times, I thanked everything in my heart, otherwise I would have embarked on a cold-blooded path; several times, I imagined the worst case scenario, abandonment, abuse, domestic violence... Then maybe I would ignore him even if he fell in front of me. I never believe in any blood ties. For me, only feelings are everything, otherwise we are just strangers who are biologically related by blood. I am glad to have met my parents in this life, and I am grateful for their love (it depends on the individual).

At my age, I have very complicated feelings towards my parents. I have family affection but not much, and it is more about responsibility. At one time, my relationship with my mother dropped to a freezing point. Later I went out, I wasn't at home often and there weren't so many things going on. I thought it would be better to keep a distance. One time, for some reason, when I was still young, maybe fifteen or sixteen, we had an argument, and my mother actually knelt down for me. Do you know that feeling? I was going crazy at the time. From now on, even if she made noises to me, even if it was very wrong, I would just listen and leave if I couldn't stand it. Don't do much, don't talk much. My mental state at that time was very bad, and I was always trying to think of ways to be independent. Even though I was young and not very courageous at that time, I had no chance. Yidu wanted to die, but later he developed neurosis. The doctor said it was a bit severe and showed signs of schizophrenia. I have been looking for those inspirational books and chicken soup books to regulate myself, and now I am suffering from nervous breakdown. If it doesn't get any worse, I don't dare to get married now because I'm afraid I won't be able to support myself financially and I won't be able to live with a man. Two Intuition cannot afford to bring a new life into this world. When faced with the urge to get married, it's just a matter of delaying and hiding. There are actually big flaws in my character.