[My long-dead sense of shame has suddenly started attacking me]
I wrote this back in middle school, ten years ago. It took me forever to recover my password!
Stop reading!!! Let me figure out how to lock this story on my phone, everyone! Spare your eyes!
If my boss ever gives me a long vacation, I'll rewrite the whole thing in this lifetime, I swear. Thank you so much, sob sob sob sob sob sob sob.
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