A Pill Cultivator's Journey to Another World

It's so childish! Every time I thought I could hold on, the next second my limit was always being pushed!

What I find strange is that if a person was a good alchemy cultivator in his previous life, why is his first reaction now not to try to see if this body can cultivate, but to try a completely different system of magic?

The writing is immature, and I can't read it. Although the writing is very good, I had a strange feeling when I read it. It seemed that the plot and other parts were a bit unreal and fake.

Didn't he just say that he was a useless person in magic and martial arts? And Li is a person who has cultivated to the Nascent Soul no matter what. Even if he borrows a corpse to resurrect his soul, he will not know anything about a mental power test. There should be similar methods when cultivating, such as coercion. I feel a little disappointed with the performance of the protagonist here.

Sorry, I didn't get it done just now. Inserting too many narrations will give people a bad feeling. This kind of writing can be put into a small theater where the author has something to say. I have seen too many posts complaining about the author's intrusion into the plot. This will make people feel that they are not reading a novel but watching a person rambling casually. In addition, using too many interjections and exclamation points can make the writing appear childish. It is best to reflect the psychological activities by describing the characters' movements, expressions and behaviors, otherwise it will feel like writing down a running account. I hope the author doesn't mind my little comments.

The copywriting is pretty good, the writing is awesome... I'll just give you my personal suggestions. 1. Since the setting is based on cultivation, it is better to use some cultivation terminology. However, if the author insists on saying that it is completely false and has nothing to do with the known cultivation system, so there are no such terms, that is also the author's setting. However, after all, there is the name of cultivation, but there is no cultivation language, which feels quite inconsistent. For example, the "debt" in this chapter is called "karma" by people in cultivation or Buddhism. Doesn't it feel like a lot of writing? The way "debt" comes and goes is too mundane and tacky... It doesn't look like the protagonist is a cultivator at all. And I originally wanted to complain that two hundred years should be a blink of an eye for a cultivator, but because I didn't know the cultivation process and difficulty set by the author, I shut up. 2. The author himself probably discovered that there are many things in the article that make no sense, so he wrote a lot of parenthetical comments. But this is really not a long-term solution. Your text should use its own language to allow readers to understand the content, plot, and emotions you want to express, rather than using the author's parenthetical comments. In addition, the interaction between the author and the characters is generally pretty cool. Although it can be very cute when used well, it usually feels too dramatic... But this is just a personal preference, so I can't say much. 3. Li Muran feels too self-righteous. Is it acceptable for you to be the "real brother"? Did you even change someone's last name? Have you asked others for their opinions? Is this how to repay the favor? Who are you? Do I know you = =? So arrogant! Do you know them? What else is there about the state of mind in the Nascent Soul stage... In the first point, I said that 200 years is not really a long time, but considering the golden finger of a cultivator, it is better to treat him as a very indifferent character. But what kind of cold-blooded person is needed to happily recognize a soul from another world (who has never met and only read the memory, probably the same as we know the protagonist after watching a TV series) as a "real brother" after the junior brother he has loved for many years turns against him? Brother, you haven't become an immortal yet. Please be more careful. ! Please forgive me for being a mortal and I really can't understand... It would be nice if the author could describe this psychological change process in a rounded way, but author, you took such an important mental journey through a single comment after class... OTL, I can't be more outrageous. His feelings for this body were so incomprehensible. Since he is a cultivator who has lacked love since childhood, it is even more difficult to open his heart to others. This is not a matter of setting, just like a person with a cold personality would not actively ask to pole dance in a bunny costume at a New Year's party. 4. Some other interesting points are fine, so I won't mention them... I can see that the author has good intentions. The copywriting is also very attractive, but unfortunately it feels a bit confusing. I guess some NC fans may criticize me with comments like "If you're good, you're good, don't read if you don't like it. Do you know how hard the author works?" I don't mean to offend. I think the author will write good articles if he accumulates more experience and knowledge, unlike some authors who are completely terrible in all three aspects... My language may be a bit rough, but I am sincerely giving suggestions. The author is still very immature and looks forward to your improvement in future works.

It's really Su. . . . The characters in the article are quite brainless. . . Some are illogical. . . . . .

Trilogy, Part One: Scumbag Attack and Baseball Suffering

There are quite a few typos, and the storyline is nothing new, especially the use of the female lead to make Mu Ran jealous is very retarded.

When I saw the last sentence, I immediately complained. You should just be like an old man! Old Malan is so annoying.