[Naruto] First Lady

The arrogant, chuuni brothers are here to guard the page. On the second floor, naturally, are three beautiful portraits of our heroine, the "strongest zombie quartet" brought back by Impure World Reincarnation.

Literary blurb: The First Lady of the Hokage, naturally, is the wife of XXXX. (Everyone: "You idiot, how is that any different from saying nothing? Drag him away and beat him up!") Love has no reason. Whether you're good or evil has nothing to do with it. So whether your dream is to save the world or destroy it, I'll draw my sword for you without hesitation. Only I deserve to stand by your side and watch you rule the world.

After much deliberation, I've decided to add a reading guide to the snarky blurb.

1. Bugs are perfectly normal. If there were no bugs, would it even be fanfiction?

2. The heroine is my second-greatest goddess in anime: Unohana Retsu from Bleach. After being killed by Kenpachi, she arrives in the world of Hokage. If you don't like that, don't read.

3. The heroine is scheming early on and turns a little dark later. If you don't like that, don't read.

4. Mary Sues and saintly heroines are nothing. A dark queen is the way to go!

Snarky blurb:

I'm Unohana Retsu, gentle and mild-mannered, the perfect wife and homemaker. Aside from occasionally indulging in a little devious fun, I'm practically perfect, darling. And with my superb medical skills, how could I not make your heart flutter?

I'm the ideal Japanese woman, and the ideal Japanese woman is me. But if you dare touch my man, watch out: I'll go dark and wipe you out!

My goddess looks amazing when she goes dark, with her long, straight black hair and center part. She looks so cool holding her Zanpakuto. Too bad the anime hasn't come out yet, so there aren't any good pictures. I found a pretty one with the right mood to make do with.

Since Unohana Retsu's personality has fallen apart, I should add a warning for anyone thinking of jumping in. The heroine may be called Unohana Retsu, but she's nothing like the one in Bleach!!! I love her deviousness, medical skills, swordsmanship, and all that stuff, but I won't say so. Anyway, please don't be so picky, okay? (Fidgets with fingers.)

To sum up, all the author wants is her abilities and her looks. (Runs away with a pot lid over her head.)