Hey! Have you waited long enough for him? a voice asked beside her ear.
I don't think so... The girl rested her chin in her hands, looking at the birds flying past outside the house with a troubled expression.
Then stop waiting... The same voice again. He doesn't want you anymore!
Nonsense! He promised he'd come marry me in two years! The girl frowned.
But it's already been two and a half years, the voice said, tinged with sadness. Turn around and look behind you. Someone else is waiting for you too... Cover by Jieba Bookshop. Click here~
Theme: If we can break up one couple, then we should. Being single is the new trend.
This is the unreliable Xiao Qian. It's my first time to review a short story. If I'm wrong about something, please forgive me.
Let's start with the copywriting. The girl's copy only has one line of poetry. Although it reads beautifully, it has no idea what the connection is with the text. Copywriting is the first thing readers see when they click on it. Although it doesn't need to be too weird, it should at least contain some substantive content to attract readers' attention. Regarding the chapter names, the girl's article reads like a small theater, which does not allow readers to have a good grasp of the overall plot of the article.
The girl's writing is good, but in terms of narrative techniques, I personally think there is still a big problem. First of all, although the third-person story is not limited to the perspective of the male and female protagonists, as a short story of only 10,000 words, it is explained from the perspectives of three people. It seems very messy and unorganized. At least I didn't understand what the story you were talking about until I was almost finished reading it. For a story that is not too complicated, my suggestion is not to start with three branch lines, but with one main line running through it to introduce distinctive characters. As a reader, without understanding your article, too many perspective changes can easily lead to abandonment of the article.
In terms of psychological description, the girl's feelings are very delicate, but maybe the plot jumps too fast. Often the episode ends hastily before the reader's feelings are integrated into your words. I suggest that the girl can add more detailed descriptions. In my opinion, a good article does not need to be filled with gorgeous words. What is more important is some accurate and detailed descriptions to reflect the psychological state of the character.
Another thing is the use of punctuation marks. I noticed that in many places, the girl often forgets colons and commas before and after double quotation marks. I hope she will pay attention to this in her future writing, otherwise it will appear that her writing skills are insufficient.
Overall, this story is very poignant. The person who has been waiting for a long time does not come back, and the sweetheart finally marries his wife. How can I put it, compared to many heart-warming novels, I think the characters in it are very real. Whether it is the infatuated Lu Anhan or the gentle Li Mingxuan, including Shen Wenyuan's unscrupulous mother who appears later, they all feel lifelike to me. Things in the world are always so unsatisfactory, and Lu Anhan was not with the one he loved in the end. But I think she is lucky, at least she has Li Mingxuan with her, someone who understands her. Sometimes if you talk about your relationship too absolutely, you may not be able to get together in the end, just like Lu Anhan and Shen Wenyuan, they still didn't become partners in the end. Maybe this is what people often call helplessness, but I am very happy that in the end, Shen Wenyuan also had his own family and daughter.
The name "Sihan" was obviously chosen for Lu Anhan. In Shen Wenyuan's heart, she will always have a place, even if she gets married, it will not change. But I think this feeling is not an extravagant wish, it is just an attachment deep in my heart. They both have their own families, and even if they meet again, they won't be together. It's just that this relationship will be engraved in their hearts as time goes by.
A poignant story, a true beauty. I hope this girl's delicacy can make your future articles more brilliant, and I wish you write better articles.
My beloved knows my intentions and couldn't bear to leave.
Poor Mingyue Tower, please remember to return on time. (The first song in the Lun family called Missing a Wife was prompted by you)
The final song of the fate of three lives has not yet been completed, and the strings of the mandarin ducks are broken and no one listens. The candle is empty and tears are like rain, and the flowers blooming on the street are filled with sadness. It is expected that there will be no full moon in life, and people will have no faith when they return home. Leave me alone, my hands are itchy...
I like this article the most, especially Lu Anhan's name, which sounds like a long and leisurely name. Come on update! ! !
Hhhhhh so cute
Copywriting is like a ghost story…
This is the unreliable Xiao Qian. It's my first time to review a short story. If I'm wrong about something, please forgive me. Let's start with the copywriting. The girl's copy only has one line of poetry. Although it reads beautifully, it has no idea what the connection is with the text. Copywriting is the first thing readers see when they click on it. Although it doesn't need to be too weird, it should at least contain some substantive content to attract readers' attention. Regarding the chapter names, the girl's article reads like a small theater, which does not allow readers to have a good grasp of the overall plot of the article. The girl's writing is good, but in terms of narrative techniques, I personally think there is still a big problem. First of all, although the third-person story is not limited to the perspective of the male and female protagonists, as a short story of only 10,000 words, it is explained from the perspectives of three people. It seems very messy and unorganized. At least I didn't understand what the story you were talking about until I was almost finished reading it. For a story that is not too complicated, my suggestion is not to start with three branch lines, but with one main line running through it to introduce distinctive characters. As a reader, without understanding your article, too many perspective changes can easily lead to abandonment of the article. In terms of psychological description, the girl's feelings are very delicate, but maybe the plot jumps too fast. Often the episode ends hastily before the reader's feelings are integrated into your words. I suggest that the girl can add more detailed descriptions. In my opinion, a good article does not need to be filled with gorgeous words. What is more important is some accurate and detailed descriptions to reflect the psychological state of the character. Another thing is the use of punctuation marks. I noticed that in many places, the girl often forgets colons and commas before and after double quotation marks. I hope she will pay attention to this in her future writing, otherwise it will appear that her writing skills are insufficient. Overall, this story is very poignant. The person who has been waiting for a long time does not come back, and the sweetheart finally marries his wife. How can I put it, compared to many heart-warming novels, I think the characters in it are very real. Whether it is the infatuated Lu Anhan or the gentle Li Mingxuan, including Shen Wenyuan's unscrupulous mother who appears later, they all feel lifelike to me. Things in the world are always so unsatisfactory, and Lu Anhan was not with the one he loved in the end. But I think she is lucky, at least she has Li Mingxuan with her, someone who understands her. Sometimes if you talk about your relationship too absolutely, you may not be able to get together in the end, just like Lu Anhan and Shen Wenyuan, they still didn't become partners in the end. Maybe this is what people often call helplessness, but I am very happy that in the end, Shen Wenyuan also had his own family and daughter. The name "Sihan" was obviously chosen for Lu Anhan. In Shen Wenyuan's heart, she will always have a place, even if she gets married, it will not change. But I think this feeling is not an extravagant wish, it is just an attachment deep in my heart. They both have their own families, and even if they meet again, they won't be together. It's just that this relationship will be engraved in their hearts as time goes by. A poignant story, a true beauty. I hope this girl's delicacy can make your future articles more brilliant, and I wish you write better articles.
My beloved knows my intentions and couldn't bear to leave. Poor Mingyue Tower, please remember to return on time. (The first song in the Lun family called Missing a Wife was prompted by you)
The final song of the fate of three lives has not yet been completed, and the strings of the mandarin ducks are broken and no one listens. The candle is empty and tears are like rain, and the flowers blooming on the street are filled with sadness. It is expected that there will be no full moon in life, and people will have no faith when they return home. Leave me alone, my hands are itchy...
I like this article the most, especially Lu Anhan's name, which sounds like a long and leisurely name. Come on update! ! !