Try Not to Die

One day, the forest ranger was patiently trying to talk a would-be suicide out of it. "Life is precious." "..." "Since time immemorial, how many people have sought immortality? Qin Shi Huang, Li Shimin..." "..." "You know, life is like virginity and the hymen: you only get one, and once it's gone, it can't be restored." "...These days, virginity and the hymen can both be restored..." "==# Bullshit! Anyway, listen to me: stop copying other people and coming here to kill yourself! Damn it, do you know how hard it is for me to collect your bodies? I'm a forest ranger, not a corpse collector! Why are there so many bodies for me to pick up every day?" The would-be suicide glanced at the furious ranger, turned away, and said wistfully: --"The scenery here is unparalleled." Unparalleled my ass! The forest ranger at Green Lake Forest put up a sign at the entrance. [In view of the recent number of people illegally taking their own lives in this forest, a friendly reminder to everyone contemplating suicide: ^-^ --We have enough organic fertilizer already. No need for you to generously donate your bodies.] One-sentence summary: A beautiful story about two Smurfs in a great forest who get up every day to collect bodies. [Not really] Reader advisory: 1. Readers under eighteen should proceed with caution. 2. Readers over eighteen should proceed with caution. 3. Pay close attention to changes in the people around you. 4. Pay close attention to changes in yourself. 5. This world is beautiful, and we need to fight for it. 6. Even if the world isn't as beautiful as you imagined, please fight for it. 7. This story was inspired by a BBC documentary. My deepest thanks to the faraway BBC. 8. Never trust the category assigned by this unscrupulous author. 9. This is a healing story. Seriously. The second book in the series. Theme: